Today’s Bristol Post website features an article with an absolute howler, as reproduced in the screenshot below.
The section of Cheltenham Road involved is a few hundred metres of the main A38 road, running between Bodmin in Cornwall and Mansfield in Nottinghamshire.
Following some ridicule in the comments below the piece, the headline has now been corrected.
Good news was received by your ‘umble scribe late yesterday evening: disgraced former party-time alleged prime minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson was withdrawing his candidacy for the Tory party leadership and this his bid to regain the premiership just three months after he had been ousted from 10 Downing Street in the wake of a mass resignation by no fewer than sixty government ministers.
Since resigning as prime minister, Johnson has spent very little time doing the job he should be doing, i.e. representing the interests of his long-suffering constituents in Uxbridge and South Ruislip, speaking in debates and filing through the division lobbies to vote on legislation, preferring instead to take 3 holidays, whilst managing to fit in a lucrative public speaking engagement in the USA. On the return flight from his last holiday in the Dominican Republic, Johnson was reportedly booed by fellow passengers.
Given his preferences, any sensible person would question what Johnson’s priorities actually are.
AS per usual, Johnson’s priority is – as always – Johnson, as is apparent from his withdrawal statement, which was faithfully reported by this morning’s Grauniad and reproduced below.
In the last few days I have been overwhelmed by the number of people who suggested that I should once again contest the Conservative party leadership, both among the public and among friends and colleagues in parliament.
I have been attracted because I led our party into a massive election victory less than three years ago – and I believe I am therefore uniquely placed to avert a general election now.
A general election would be a further disastrous distraction just when the government must focus on the economic pressures faced by families across the country.
I believe I am well placed to deliver a Conservative victory in 2024 – and tonight I can confirm that I have cleared the very high hurdle of 102 nominations, including a proposer and a seconder, and I could put my nomination in tomorrow.
There is a very good chance that I would be successful in the election with Conservative Party members – and that I could indeed be back in Downing Street on Friday.
But in the course of the last days I have sadly come to the conclusion that this would simply not be the right thing to do. You can’t govern effectively unless you have a united party in parliament.
And though I have reached out to both Rishi [Sunak] and Penny [Mordaunt] – because I hoped that we could come together in the national interest – we have sadly not been able to work out a way of doing this.
Therefore I am afraid the best thing is that I do not allow my nomination to go forward and commit my support to whoever succeeds.
I believe I have much to offer but I am afraid that this is simply not the right time.
There are a number of comments one could make on Johnson’s statement.
Firstly there’s the assertion at the very end ‘that this is simply not the right time‘. Indeed it isn’t. Johnson is under investigation for misleading the House of Commons, specifically for lying in the Commons chamber about the Partygate scandal. If found guilty, Johnson could faced suspension from the Commons (not a good look for a serving PM. Ed.) and if suspended would more than likely face a recall by-election, which polls suggest he would lose.
Then there’s ‘I believe I am therefore uniquely placed to avert a general election now‘. Modest aren’t we sir? Johnson re-emerging as PM after having done more in living memory to disgrace the office (think of being the first serving premier to be sanctioned by the police whilst in office – and for breaking his own government’s regulations too – never mind lying to the queen to prorogue parliament, an action subsequently ruled unlawful by the Supreme Court.Ed.) would be indicative not only of his but his party’s lack of integrity, morals and standards.
Turning to the rifts in the Conservative party, Johnson remarks: ‘ I have reached out to both Rishi [Sunak] and Penny [Mordaunt] – because I hoped that we could come together in the national interest – we have sadly not been able to work out a way of doing this.‘ This is a well-aimed swipe at the 2 other leadership contenders, implying it’s their fault that the rifts in the Tory Party can’t be healed.
Your ‘umble scribe doubts very much that with which Johnson tried reaching out to Sunak and Mordaunt was not an olive branch, but to ask them to withdraw and leave the field clear for him. When they refused Johnson issued the statement above,
Finally, there is the widely reported claim – repeated above – that Johnson had the backing of 102 MPs. As a list of those 102 supporters has never been disclosed, this also must be regarded as more of Johnson’s dishonesty.
PS: Never trust a man who combs his hair with a balloon.