Oddities

  • The English north-south divide: another Roman legacy?

    In Monty Python’s Life of Brian, Reg, the leader of the People’s Front of Judea (PFJ) asks: “All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?

    Moving well north and west from Judea to England and asking the same question about the benefits of Roman rule for the locals, one unexpected legacy of oppression under the hob-nailed caliga may well be the north-south divide, but does that political, cultural and linguistic division, which has been a permanent fixture in your ‘umble scribe’s life, really date back over one and a half millennia? It is a recognised phenomenon that has even merited its own Wikipedia page.

    Anyway, back to the Romans.

    The Roman province of Britannia was in existence from the invasion of Claudius in 43 CE until with withdrawal of the legions in around 410 CE.

    Some time, either in the late second century or early third century CE the province of Britannia was split into two, with Britannia Superior (Upper Britain) in the south governed from Londinium (London) and Britannia Inferior (Lower Britain) in the north governed from Eboracum (York). It is not known where the boundary between the two administrative regions was demarcated, with the boundary in the graphic below being purely conjectural.

    Roman province of Britannia divided into Britannia Superior and Britannia Inferior. Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

    Both Britannia Superior and Britannia Inferior were later sub-divided further. In 296, the emperor Diocletian undertook a major reorganisation of the empire. The newly named Diocese of Britannia was subdivided into four provinces, Britannia Prima and Maxima Caesariensis from Britannia Superior and Britannia Secunda (capital in Eboracum) and Flavia Caesariensis (capital in Lindum (Lincoln)) from Britannia Inferior.

    When Catholic Christianity came to England, it followed a similar pattern to the fate of the Roman imperial province: firstly administration as a sole archbishopric from Canterbury, then the division of the country into two provinces, Canterbury and York, with the latter archbishopric being established 735, after being a bishopric from 626. This administrative ecclesiastical division has persisted to this day, with the Archbishop of York being regarded as the Church of England’s second most senior cleric.

    Provinces of the Church of England. York in pink, Canterbury in yellow. Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

    At about the same time that the early church was developing, so were England’s seven Saxon kingdoms (established by the descendants of incomers from continental Europe from the 5th century onwards, who intermarried with the locals and whose culture became the dominant one in what was later to become England. Ed.) – otherwise known as the Heptarchy. Of these, one of the largest was Northumbria, whose capital was likewise York and whose southern boundaries extended from the Mersey estuary in the west to the Humber estuary in the east.

    The Heptarchy, Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

    However, other factors than ecclesiastical and administrative division need to be taken into account. These include the arrival and settlement of large parts of England with Norse speakers from the mid-ninth century onwards, ultimately resulting in the establishment of the Danelaw. The settlement of large numbers of Norse speakers also had a profound effect on the development of what became modern English, simplifying some of the more complicated syntax of Old English inherited from its Germanic roots, as well as enriching the language with such everyday nouns as egg and knife, plus adjectives like sly. Wikipedia has a list of English words of Norse origin, but your ‘umble scribe does not consider it complete as it has been reckoned that up to 3,000 modern English terms have their origins in Old Norse. But perhaps the most telling distinction is the difference in the origin of dialect words between the north and the south (e.g. the northern use of beck for a stream and in certain regions gan for go).

    The north-south divide also played a role in that most famous year in English history – 1066, involving as it did a fraternal dispute between the two sons of Godwin of Wessex, namely Harold (who some, particularly William of Normandy believed had usurped the English crown which he believed had been promised to him. Ed.) and Tostig, earl of Northumberland. As earl of Northumberland, Tostig governed with difficulty. He was never popular with the Northumbrian ruling class, a mix of Danish invaders and Anglo-Saxon survivors of the last Norse invasion. Tostig was said to have been heavy-handed with those who resisted his rule, including murdering several members of leading Northumbrian families. On 3rd October 1065, the thegns of York and the rest of Yorkshire descended on York and occupied the city. They killed Tostig’s officials and supporters, then declared Tostig outlawed for his unlawful actions. Shortly after, Kind Edward the Confessor exiled Tostig at the behest of his brother Harold.

    When Edward died and was succeeded by Harold, his rule was challenged by Tostig and Harald Hardrada of Norway, both of whom were killed at the Battle of Stamford Bridge on 25th September 1066. Hard on the heels of that encounter, Harold Godwinson himself lost the crown by being defeated by William (nicknamed both the Conqueror and the Bastard. Ed.) Duke of Normandy at Hastings on 14th October 1066.

    The Norman takeover of England was not wholeheartedly welcomed everywhere and more particularly he William faced a series of rebellions and border skirmishes in Dover, Exeter, Hereford, Nottingham, Durham, York and Peterborough. However, the biggest revolt came in the northern part of England and is generally know to history as the Harrying of the North. In 1086, twenty years after William the Bastard’s invasion and the battle of Hastings, his great survey of the country known as the Domesday Book lists many areas as being waste, i.e. unproductive land yielding no tax revenue, so great had been his retribution for the revolt against his rule.

    The fourteenth century is our next halt on this journey down the English north-south divide.

    In 1381 there was a popular uprising now known to history as the Peasants’ Revolt (although plenty of people other than peasants were involved. Ed.) occurred. Although the main events occurred in the south-east of England, particularly Essex, Kent and London, revolts and public unrest occurred in other parts of England too; and the north did not escape.

    Wikipedia records that:

    In the town of Beverley, violence broke out between the richer mercantile elite and the poorer townspeople during May. By the end of the month the rebels had taken power and replaced the former town administration with their own. The rebels attempted to enlist the support of Alexander Neville, the Archbishop of York, and in June forced the former town government to agree to arbitration through Neville. Peace was restored in June 1382 but tensions continued to simmer for many years.

    Hard on the heels of the events of 1381, 1395 was a pivotal year in English literary history with the appearance of Geoffrey Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales. Chaucer himself wrote (and probably spoke) in the East Midlands dialect which was prevalent in places such as London, Oxford and Cambridge, and was one of the most influential medieval English dialects in forming Modern English. However, he knew the Northern dialect too and it is spoken by the two northern clerks in the Reeve’s Tale.

    The tale concerns Symkyn, a miller of Trumpington near Cambridge. He overcharged the steward of Soler Hall (which later became part of Trinity College), the college steward was too ill to face him. Two clerical students there, John and Aleyn, originally from Strother in north east England (a place now lost in the historical and geographical record. Ed.), are outraged at this theft and vow to beat the miller at his own game. The north-eastern accent of the two clerks is also the earliest surviving attempt in English literature to record a dialect from an area other than that of the main writer and is believed to be the first effort in English to extract comedy from imitating accents.

    And that linguistic divide has existed since at least Chaucer’s time, with occasional low-level mutual disdain for the accents and dialects of north and south. One of my nieces – a Lancashire lass – did her degree in London. Whilst in London she was constantly told how northern she sounded; during visits back to the red rose county, the perceived loss of her accent and perceived adoption of southern speech were also remarked upon.

    Over the centuries distinct differences other than linguistic have also grown up. Take food for instance. Bury has long been regarded by many as the traditional home of black pudding, whilst London will always be associated with jellied eels. Pie lovers generally associate decent pies with the north (see Hairy Bikers. Ed.). Turning to music, London has the Royal College of Music; Manchester is home to the Royal Northern College of Music. On the sports field the north has long been the home of rugby league (13 players per side) whilst rugby union (15 per side) has long predominated in the south. Plenty of other examples in other fields are also available.

    Motorway style signage indicating roundabout exit for Hatfield and the NorthBefore drawing to an end, it’s worth noting that where the north and south of England both begin and end is not fixed. If one is on the M1 down near London, the motorway signage clearly indicates that the North begins beyond Hatfield in Hertfordshire. In contrast, my Mancunian friend Steve defines the start of the North as anywhere north of a horizontal line at Knutsford Services on the M6 in line with the general rule that the further north one goes, the further north the south begins.

    So, returning to and paraphrasing the PFJ’s Reg, apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system and public health, did the Romans also give England its north-south divide? Have your say in the comments below.

  • It’s Pi Day

    Today is March 14th, or in the American system of time and date notation 3.14.

    the numbers 3, 1 and 4 just happen to be the first three numbers of Pi (π), a mathematical constant denoting the ratio of a circle’s circumference to its diameter.

    Pi Day was first celebrated in the United States after being founded in 1988 by the late Larry Shaw, formerly an employee of the Exploratorium science museum in San Francisco. Celebrations often involve either eating pie or holding Pi recitation competitions, or both.

    Steak and ale pie complete with Pi
    A magnificent home-made Pi pie.
    Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

    Besides Pi Day, some people also celebrate Pi Approximation Day on 22nd July (22/7).

  • Bristol Live exclusive: abstract nouns become tool users

    Bristol ‘Live’, the city’s newspaper of (warped) record is a frequent source of exclusives, i.e. news limited to the possession, control or use by a title or group of titles. However, most of these go unrecognised or are ignored by the paper itself.

    One such occurred this morning when the piece in the screenshot below was added to the title’s website.

    Headline Police update after arrests made during Bristol protests where horseback offers used batons

    It seems the city and county of Bristol and its forces of law in order in particular have some very skilled abstract nouns called offers. Not only can they control domestic animals – horses – but are also able to use tools/weapons (batons) at the same time.

    Why have these highly talented abstract nouns not received attention the so richly merit in the past? Diligent proofreading perchance? 😀

  • Exclusive: Wiltshire man murdered on social media server

    One definition of the noun ambiguity in English is “a word or expression that can be understood in two or more possible ways“.

    Nearly 5 decades ago, when your ‘umble scribe started his first job as a staff translator for Imperial Tobacco and was being schooled in how to write in the company’s internal house style, one definite rule that was imposed was that of avoiding any and all ambiguity.

    This is a practice that does not seem to be prevalent in titles in the current Reach plc newspaper stable, including Bristol ‘Live’, the conglomerate’s newspaper of (warped) record for the greater Bristol area.

    And so it came to pass that in the process of trawling social media for something that qualifies as investigative ‘journalism’, the Post looked further afield than the BS postcode and ventured into the the wilds of Wiltshire for a story.

    Headline - I found out my boy had been stabbed to death on Facebook

    Yes, that’s right! If one just read the headline, the impression is given that the murder victim was killed on a server in the employ of Mark Zuckerberg. However, in the actual body of the report, the copy does state that no killing occurred on Facebook itself.

    The mum of a murdered teen found out about the killing on Facebook before receiving a phone call asking if it was true.

    How the headline and the copy body can portray two different versions what transpired seems to have by-passed its two named authors and the SWNS news agency credited as being responsible for writing the piece is beyond belief. In the old days, this would have been picked up and remedied by a sub-editor (before Reach made them all redundant. Ed.). All 3 parties involved were obviously not paying attention either in school English classes or media studies lectures when some of the finer points of good writing were being imparted.

  • Gwen John in Caerdydd

    To mark the 150th anniversary of her birth, Amgueddfa Cymru/National Museum of Wales in Caerdydd is currently putting on an exhibition of the work of the Welsh artist Gwen John, under the title Gwen John – Strange Beauties.

    The Guardian recently gave the exhibition preview a five star review, calling it a “superb, daunting retrospective of the woman who is now, perhaps, the most famous Welsh artist.” It continues: “It is not a blow-by-blow biographical story of how she was born in Haverfordwest in 1876, how she and her brother Augustus both loved art as children, how she insisted on going to the Slade School of Fine Art like him then made her life in bohemian France“.

    Nation Cymru also penned a glowing review, stating, “It is the constant return to the same subjects that makes John and her Strange Beauties so alluring. It is the use of everyday materials: packaging cut up to use as a miniature canvas, brown paper, a Keats poetry book adorned with sketches.

    Girl reading a book by a window
    Click on the image for the full size version.

    In addition to John’s paintings, sketches and the like, the exhibition also features such items as her exercise books and letters, plus contributions from other artists who figured largely in her life, such as her brother Augustus and the sculptor Auguste Rodin, for whom she modelled and with whom she also shared a bed at one time.

    Plaster cast of Rodin's head of Gwen John
    Plaster cast of Rodin’s head of Gwen John. Click on the image for the full-size version.

    One fascinating feature were the exhibits from Gwen John’s early artistic career (e.g. the portrait and sketch of her sister Winifred) before she went to the Slade School of Fine Art from 1895 to 1898, which the exhibition tells us fundamentally changed her approach to art, as well as her technique.

    Your ‘umble scribe decided to desert Bristol for a day to pay a visit and was not disappointed, spending a good hour and a half exploring the five rooms full of exhibits, although he agrees with a member of the museum staff to whom he spoke that it merited a second visit.

    Amgueddfa Cymru acquired a substantial portion of John’s archive after her early death in 1939, but the works on display also include items from various museums and galleries both in Europe and over the Atlantic, as well as from private collections.

    Gwen John – Strange Beauties will be on until 28th June. See it if you can.

  • President promises penguins

    The disgraced former 45th and current disgraceful 47th President of the United States, adjudicated sexual predator, condemned business fraudster, convicted felon and compulsive liar, one Donald John Trump (who is on a personal quest to Make America Grate Again or something similar. Ed.), has never been renowned for his intellectual prowess. This, plus his overweening narcissism, means that for his second spell of squatting in the Oval Office, he has surrounded himself with sycophantic staff who will not embarrass him mainly because they are just as stupid as their boss, if not more so.

    This stupidity was again on display yesterday on the White House social media accounts, with a post based on the lonely penguin meme from the Werner Herzog film Encounters at the End of the World. The meme features footage of a lone Adélie penguin wandering away from its colony in Antarctica and was posted in connection with the Tangerine Tyrant’s obsession with acquiring Greenland from Denmark, an ambition which has provoked both a consumer boycott (posts passim) and demonstrations in both Denmark itself and Greenland.

    Here’s what White House staffers embarrassed themselves and the entire Trump regime with yesterday.

    Under the caption embrace the penguin' a penguin carrying a US flag walks hand in hand with Donald Trump across a snowy mountainous landscape with a red and white Greenland flag on the left flank of the mountains

    Needless to say the image was produced with the aid of Artificial Ignorance, otherwise abbreviated to AI.

    Moreover, it goes without saying that the post attracted extensive mockery online. Here’s an example.

    Reworking of White House image, but featuring tRump in a clown outfit

    However, this criticism overlooks one vital fact; The Donald’s importing of penguins to Greenland is a far better use of US tax dollars than towing Greenland down to the southern polar region to enable it to be populated by penguins! 😀

  • Security and wearable animals

    A number of years ago, wearable technology looked set to become all the rage.

    Mention of it has declined noticeably in recent years. When, for instance, was the last time you heard of or encountered, say, Google Glass?

    On the other hand, wearable animals – or parts of animals – have a history that extends back into prehistory, in particular that epoch known as the Palaeolithic, the longest period in human history.

    Nevertheless, the manners in which animals or their parts have been used have adapted over the millennia in response to technological changes and development.

    A recent example of such an adaptation is shown below. It cropped up in your correspondent’s social media timeline today, although a reverse image search indicates it might have originated a couple of years ago.

    Social media post reads Please ensure you have your identity badger at all times. Below is a photo of a notice worded Security notice - All Employees Must Wear ID Badgers When Entering
    Why Is The First Letter of Each Word Capitalised?

    Are other identity animals available? Comment below.

  • Dumb Britain surfaces in Easton

    For many years – longer than your ‘umble scribe chooses to remember – satirical magazine Private Eye has featured a column entitled Dumb Britain, which documents the hilariously wrong and ingorant answers given by contestants on television quiz shows.

    However, dumbness in the form of lack of knowledge, intelligence or common-sense is not confined to the small screen; myriad examples may be found in real life, as evidenced by the photograph below taken in St Mark’s Road (note the apostrophe, Bristol City Council! Ed.) in Easton last week when the street was undergoing road works.

    Junction of St Mark's Road and High Street whowing No Entry sign plus Road Ahead Closed sign.

    Maybe Private Eye should expand the criteria for Dumb Britain.

  • Pizza places to close in two non-existent counties

    According to Wikipedia, “A county is a type of officially recognized geographical division within a modern country, federal state, or province.”

    Within England shires were established in the Anglo-Saxon period, shires were established as areas used for the raising of taxes and usually had a fortified town at their centre. This became known as the shire town or later the county town. In many cases, the shires were named after their shire town (for example Bedfordshire).

    Middlesex is one of the thirty-nine historic counties of England. Its name is derived from its origin as a homeland for the Middle Saxons in the early Middle Ages, with the county subsequently part of that territory in the ninth or tenth century. As a county it managed to survive for the best part of a millennium, finally being abolished by the London Government Act 1963, which came into force on 1 April 1965.

    The cardboard county of Avon has a rather different history to the former shire named after the home of the Middle Saxons. It was a non-metropolitan and ceremonial county in the west of England which existed between 1974 and 1996. Named after the Bristol Avon, it comprised the cities of Bath and Bristol plus parts of south Gloucestershire and Somerset, which formed the other two local authorities – Northavon and Woodspring – within the county. Avon proved to be deeply unpopular, with locals bemoaning in some instances Bristol’s loss of county status in its own right, as well as traditional affiliations to both Gloucestershire and Somerset respectively. In 1996, the county was abolished and its administrative area split between four new unitary authorities: Bath and North East Somerset, Bristol, North Somerset and South Gloucestershire.

    Although both Middlesex and Avon have officially been abolished that does not mean their use has been discontinued, usually by the uninformed. There are still organisations out there which believe Bristol is part of Avon and that the county named after the Middle Saxons still exist. One of these is currently in the news.

    Pizza Hut logoOne of those organisations is Pizza Hut, which has announced a number of closures of its outlets in the Untied Kingdom, as reported by the Bristol Post/Live.

    All told, 68 Pizza Hut restaurants will close after the company behind its the US brand’s UK venues entered administration. These include the following five outlets in the aforementioned non-existent counties, as listed by Bristol’s paper of (warped) record:

    • Bristol, Avon;
    • Cribbs Causeway, Avon;
    • Enfield, Middlesex;
    • Feltham, Middlesex; and
    • Hayes, Middlesex.

    A few news outlets, such as the BBC, actually took the trouble to remove the erroneous county labels instead of blindly copying and pasting the list verbatim from the original press release.

    For those still in need of a junk food fix, plenty of other pizza outlets are still open to the public in both real and non-existent counties. 😀

  • Local rag treats bereaved like software

    Yesterday’s Bristol Post featured a report of a man found dead at the scene of a camper van fire at the Hengrove Mounds nature reserve in south Bristol.

    Reports about unexpected or unexplained deaths are not exactly uncommon fare for the local press anywhere.

    However, what made this particular incident unusual was the manner in which the reporter chose to represent the subsequent action of the police after attending the incident, as quoted directly from the piece itself.

    Efforts are currently ongoing to identify him in order to update his next of kin.

    Update?

    Use of appropriate language is just as important in writing for the local media as it is to a scientist writing a paper or an author penning a work of fiction. The poor man’s next of kin are not like software or kitchen cabinets!

    For the benefit of any passing media studies graduates pretending to be journalists, you would have been told by any half-decent sub-editor that relatives and the next of kin are either notified or informed of their loved one’s untimely demise. Lumping grieving family in with software that needs a bug fix is not only very bad English indeed, but abysmal writing not worthy of being classed as journalism.

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