Politics

  • Fanboi can’t remember tribute act name

    Last Thursday large swathes of the Untied* Kingdom went to the polls, electing local councils in England, as well as members of the Scottish Parliament in Holyrood and the Senedd in Caerdydd.

    The big winners in Englandshire with a gain of 1,451 council seats were an alleged political party known as Reform UK, a limited company under the control of a charlatan, grifter and absentee dishonourable member of parliament for Clacton in Essex rejoicing in the name of Nigel Paul Farage.

    Farage’s alleged greatest political achievement was conning folk into voting for the Untied Kingdom to leave the European Union, the country biggest foreign policy mistake since the disastrous Suez Crisis of 1956.

    At the time, Farage’s personal fan club rejoiced in the name of the United Kingdom Independence Party, or UKIP for short.

    UKIP still exists, but under new management and even further to the right than it was under Farage’s leadership (if what he does can be covered by that noun. Ed.), since Farage decided in 2018 that his fan club needed a rebrand as the Brexit Party, which in turn was renamed Reform UK in 2021.

    However, for some members of the Farage faithful, eight years is too short a time to absorb news of the party’s rebrand, as this social media post from Emma Volney illustrates, where the idiot fanboi wearing the rosette (which he evidently can’t read or hasn’t read. Ed.) has to be reminded of the party’s name by his interviewer.

    Post reads 'UKIP's here!’ New Reform councillor corrected on which party he now represents. #LocalElections2026. This sits above a screenshot of a shaven-headed, very pink-looking man with a Reform rosette with the sub-title Our message is UKIP's here working hard with local communities
    Doh!

    Perhaps he’ll remember by the time his defection to another right-wing rabble is due. 😀

    Spelling deliberate. Ed.

  • Of golden calves and graven images

    The book of Exodus in the Old Testament says the following in Chapter 20, verse 4:

    Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.

    Which brings us in a timely manner to the Mar-a-Lago golf course in Florida, owned by the disgraced former 45th and current disgraceful 47th President of the United States, adjudicated sexual predator, condemned business fraudster, convicted felon, compulsive liar and golf cheat, one Donald John Trump (who is on a personal quest to Make America Grate Again or something similar. Ed.).

    tRump, whose narcissism is believed to have no beginning, has been keen to plaster his name all over the public domain in such places as Washington’s Kennedy Center. Ever a pitifully insecure creature, Little Donny has now erected a gold statue of himself at his Florida residence with built-in 18 holes.

    Unveiling of Mar-a-Lago’s golden egotist tribute.
    Image credit: Pastor Mark Burns

    To assist with the statue’s unveiling, the Donald invited long-term supporter and alleged Christian Pastor Mark Burns, a long term member of the Cult of The Donald, who told the Premier Christian News site that it definitely was “not a golden calf“.

    Your ‘umble scribe thinks the good pastor should apply the so-called duck test to the Tangerine Tyrant’s tacky display of narcissism and self-aggrandisement.

  • French state moves away from Microsoft

    image of Tux, the Linux kernel mascotFrance is to begin replacing Microsoft Windows on the desktop with Linux, the French Digital Ministry has announced.

    This change is part of a broader initiative to reduce reliance on non-European digital technologies. Each ministry will be required requires each ministry, to develop a plan by autumn 2026 addressing desktop systems, collaboration tools, antivirus software, AI, databases, virtualisation, and network equipment.

    In addition to government departments migrating from Windows to Linux, the National Health Insurance Fund announced a few days ago it was moving its 80,000 employees to France’s own interministerial digital platform’s tools (Tchap secure messaging, Visio and FranceTransfert for the document sharing).

    Announcing the initiative, Public Accounts Minister David Amiel remarked as follows:

    The State can no longer simply acknowledge its dependence; it must break free. We must become less reliant on American tools and regain control of our digital destiny. We can no longer accept that our data, our infrastructure and our strategic decisions depend on solutions whose rules, pricing, change and risks we do not control. The transition is underway: our ministries, our operators and our industrial partners are now embarking on an unprecedented initiative to map our dependencies and strengthen our digital sovereignty. Digital sovereignty is not an option.
  • NATO disbanded by the NYT

    For the eagle-eyed observers of bad journalism (and out of work sub-editors. Ed.), page A8 of the New York Times on Friday 3rd April was a facepalming classic, given that getting proper names correct is something that should be hammered into journalists during their training.

    Headline reads A North American Treaty Organization without America?
    Click on the image for the full size version.

    NATO logoYes, you did read that correctly. With one flourish of fingers across the keyboard, the North Atlantic Treaty Organization has been transformed into the North American Treaty Organization by a New York Times ‘journalist’ seemingly unaware of a relatively common fact-checking tool commonly known to humanity as 5 minutes’ Googling*.


    However, to be fair to the NYT, it did post an apology the same day of X, the alleged social media platform that used to be known as Twitter.

    Post reads A correction will appear in tomorrow's print edition: A headline with an article on Friday about President Trump’s threats to leave NATO misstated the full name of the body. It is the North Atlantic Treaty Organization, not the North American Treaty Organization.

    According to Wikipedia, NATO “serves as a system of collective security, whereby its independent member states agree to mutual defence in response to an attack by any outside party. This is enshrined in Article 5** of the treaty, which states that an armed attack against one member shall be considered an attack against them all“.

    Just like the British/English, the inhabitants of the 50 federal states comprising the USA have a well-developed sense of exceptionalism, i.e. the idea that a person, country or political system can be allowed to be different from, and perhaps better than, others. This is perhaps best embodied by John Gast’s 1872 painting, American Progress, which depicts buffalo and the original indigenous inhabitants fleeing before the relentless advance of the railway, the telegraph (with the figure of Columbia stringing the wire, possibly as a precursor to Glenn Campbell’s 1968 Wichita Lineman. Ed.), so-called settlers and the stage coach.

    An allegorical representation of the modernization of the west of part of North America. Columbia, a personification of the United States, is shown leading civilisation westward with the American settlers. She is shown bringing light from east to west, stringing telegraph wire, holding a school book, and highlighting different stages of economic activity and evolving forms of transportation. On the left, Indigenous Americans are displaced from their ancestral homeland.

    * = Other search engines are available that do not invade your privacy and sell your data to advertisers. 😀

    ** = Article 5 of the NATO Treaty dealing with mutual defence has only been invoked on one occasion; and that was by, erm, the United States.

  • Twice in a white moon

    In 1970 musician and poet Gil Scott Heron wrote the poem Whitey on the Moon. It was released as the ninth track of his debut album, Small Talk at 125th and Lenox.

    The poem tells of medical debt, high taxes and poverty experienced at the time of the Apollo Moon landings, as well as criticising the money spent on the US space programme while Black Americans were experiencing social and economic disparities at home on Earth.

    The full text of the poem follows.

    A rat done bit my sister Nell.
    (with Whitey on the moon)
    Her face and arms began to swell.
    (and Whitey’s on the moon)
    I can’t pay no doctor bills.
    (but Whitey’s on the moon)
    Ten years from now I’ll be payin’ still
    While Whitey’s on the moon.
    You know, the man jus’ upped my rent las’ night,
    ’cause Whitey’s on the moon.
    No hot water, no toilets, no lights,
    but Whitey’s on the moon.
    I wonder why he’s uppi’ me?
    ’cause Whitey’s on the moon?
    Well I wuz already givin’ ‘im fifty a week
    And now Whitey’s on the moon.
    Taxes takin’ my whole damn check,
    The junkies make me a nervous wreck,
    The price of food is goin’ up,
    An’ as if all that crap wuzn’t enough,
    A rat done bit my sister Nell.
    (with Whitey on the moon)
    Her face an’ arms began to swell
    And Whitey’s on the moon.
    Was all that money I made las’ year
    For Whitey on the moon?
    How come I ain’t got no money here?
    Hmm! Whitey’s on the moon.
    Y’know I jus’ about had my fill
    Of Whitey on the moon.
    I think I’ll sen’ these doctor bills,
    Airmail special to Whitey on the moon


    Nothing much has happened in the intervening 56 years as far as the plight of Black Americans is concerned. There is still racism and discrimination, whilst medical care funding programmes, food stamps and other welfare have been cut by the authoritarian regime of Donald Trump, disgraced former 45th and current disgraceful 47th President of the United States, adjudicated sexual predator, condemned business fraudster, convicted felon, compulsive liar and golf cheat (who is on a personal quest to Make America Grate Again or something similar. Ed.)

    Another thing that hasn’t changed is the rising prices of everything, not least due to tRump’s illegal attacks on Iran in collusion with fellow war criminal Benjamin Netanyahu.

    It’s said that history does not repeat itself. While this may be true, history is quite fond of tribute acts. As a tribute act to its triumphs of 1960s and 1970s, NASA has this week launched the Artemis II mission, which has sent four astronauts on a flyby around the Moon and back to Earth.

    Artemis II blasts off from NASA's Kennedy Space Center
    Artemis II blasts off from NASA’s Kennedy Space Center.
    Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.

    Nevertheless, there have been two significant changes in Artemis II from the 1960s and 70s Apollo missions, one of the four-person crew, Victor Glover, is an African American and another, Christina Koch, is a woman.

  • Lookalikes – special US edition

    In 1966 when your ‘umble scribe was still a child, Palitoy launched Action Man in the Untied Kingdom. Action Man was a British version of Hasbro’s G.I. Joe. The same mould patterns seem to have been used for both franchises.

    Just like Mattel’s Barbie, owners could buy military outfits in which to dress their Action Man, in addition to which various accessories (e.g. weapons, jeep, etc.) could also be bought.

    Action Man figures in various military outfits with differing accessories
    Action Man Figures in various disguises on display at the Young V&A in London.
    Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.

    The Action Man doll had a bodybuilder’s muscle definition matched with a lantern jaw, i.e. a long, square jaw with a large chin.

    Fast forward sixty years and that enduring image of Action has found physical form in the body of one Peter Brian Hegseth, a former low-ranking army officer, National Guardsman and Fox News presenter inexplicably made US War Defense Secretary by the the disgraced former 45th and current disgraceful 47th President of the United States, adjudicated sexual predator, condemned business fraudster, convicted felon, compulsive liar and golf cheat, one Donald John Trump (who is on a personal quest to Make America Grate Again or something similar. Ed.).

    Private Eye style lookalike featuring Pete Hegseth and Action Man. The plastic figure has the higher intelligence and greater humanity.

    For the avoidance of any doubt, your correspondent wishes to point out that the character on the left is the one with more than two brain cells. 😀

  • The Donald J Trump Institute of War

    Thank you, Led By Donkeys!

    Wikipedia: “On December 3, 2025, the White House rebranded the headquarters building as the Donald J. Trump Institute of Peace…”

    When it comes to leaving his mark everywhere, the disgraced 45th and current disgraceful 47th President of the United States, adjudicated sexual predator, condemned business fraudster, convicted felon and compulsive liar, Donald John Trump (who is on a personal quest to Make America Grate Again or something similar. Ed.) is no different from a dog and a city’s lamp posts.

    No further comment required.

  • The English north-south divide: another Roman legacy?

    In Monty Python’s Life of Brian, Reg, the leader of the People’s Front of Judea (PFJ) asks: “All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?

    Moving well north and west from Judea to England and asking the same question about the benefits of Roman rule for the locals, one unexpected legacy of oppression under the hob-nailed caliga may well be the north-south divide, but does that political, cultural and linguistic division, which has been a permanent fixture in your ‘umble scribe’s life, really date back over one and a half millennia? It is a recognised phenomenon that has even merited its own Wikipedia page.

    Anyway, back to the Romans.

    The Roman province of Britannia was in existence from the invasion of Claudius in 43 CE until with withdrawal of the legions in around 410 CE.

    Some time, either in the late second century or early third century CE the province of Britannia was split into two, with Britannia Superior (Upper Britain) in the south governed from Londinium (London) and Britannia Inferior (Lower Britain) in the north governed from Eboracum (York). It is not known where the boundary between the two administrative regions was demarcated, with the boundary in the graphic below being purely conjectural.

    Roman province of Britannia divided into Britannia Superior and Britannia Inferior. Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

    Both Britannia Superior and Britannia Inferior were later sub-divided further. In 296, the emperor Diocletian undertook a major reorganisation of the empire. The newly named Diocese of Britannia was subdivided into four provinces, Britannia Prima and Maxima Caesariensis from Britannia Superior and Britannia Secunda (capital in Eboracum) and Flavia Caesariensis (capital in Lindum (Lincoln)) from Britannia Inferior.

    When Catholic Christianity came to England, it followed a similar pattern to the fate of the Roman imperial province: firstly administration as a sole archbishopric from Canterbury, then the division of the country into two provinces, Canterbury and York, with the latter archbishopric being established 735, after being a bishopric from 626. This administrative ecclesiastical division has persisted to this day, with the Archbishop of York being regarded as the Church of England’s second most senior cleric.

    Provinces of the Church of England. York in pink, Canterbury in yellow. Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

    At about the same time that the early church was developing, so were England’s seven Saxon kingdoms (established by the descendants of incomers from continental Europe from the 5th century onwards, who intermarried with the locals and whose culture became the dominant one in what was later to become England. Ed.) – otherwise known as the Heptarchy. Of these, one of the largest was Northumbria, whose capital was likewise York and whose southern boundaries extended from the Mersey estuary in the west to the Humber estuary in the east.

    The Heptarchy, Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

    However, other factors than ecclesiastical and administrative division need to be taken into account. These include the arrival and settlement of large parts of England with Norse speakers from the mid-ninth century onwards, ultimately resulting in the establishment of the Danelaw. The settlement of large numbers of Norse speakers also had a profound effect on the development of what became modern English, simplifying some of the more complicated syntax of Old English inherited from its Germanic roots, as well as enriching the language with such everyday nouns as egg and knife, plus adjectives like sly. Wikipedia has a list of English words of Norse origin, but your ‘umble scribe does not consider it complete as it has been reckoned that up to 3,000 modern English terms have their origins in Old Norse. But perhaps the most telling distinction is the difference in the origin of dialect words between the north and the south (e.g. the northern use of beck for a stream and in certain regions gan for go).

    The north-south divide also played a role in that most famous year in English history – 1066, involving as it did a fraternal dispute between the two sons of Godwin of Wessex, namely Harold (who some, particularly William of Normandy believed had usurped the English crown which he believed had been promised to him. Ed.) and Tostig, earl of Northumberland. As earl of Northumberland, Tostig governed with difficulty. He was never popular with the Northumbrian ruling class, a mix of Danish invaders and Anglo-Saxon survivors of the last Norse invasion. Tostig was said to have been heavy-handed with those who resisted his rule, including murdering several members of leading Northumbrian families. On 3rd October 1065, the thegns of York and the rest of Yorkshire descended on York and occupied the city. They killed Tostig’s officials and supporters, then declared Tostig outlawed for his unlawful actions. Shortly after, Kind Edward the Confessor exiled Tostig at the behest of his brother Harold.

    When Edward died and was succeeded by Harold, his rule was challenged by Tostig and Harald Hardrada of Norway, both of whom were killed at the Battle of Stamford Bridge on 25th September 1066. Hard on the heels of that encounter, Harold Godwinson himself lost the crown by being defeated by William (nicknamed both the Conqueror and the Bastard. Ed.) Duke of Normandy at Hastings on 14th October 1066.

    The Norman takeover of England was not wholeheartedly welcomed everywhere and more particularly he William faced a series of rebellions and border skirmishes in Dover, Exeter, Hereford, Nottingham, Durham, York and Peterborough. However, the biggest revolt came in the northern part of England and is generally know to history as the Harrying of the North. In 1086, twenty years after William the Bastard’s invasion and the battle of Hastings, his great survey of the country known as the Domesday Book lists many areas as being waste, i.e. unproductive land yielding no tax revenue, so great had been his retribution for the revolt against his rule.

    The fourteenth century is our next halt on this journey down the English north-south divide.

    In 1381 there was a popular uprising now known to history as the Peasants’ Revolt (although plenty of people other than peasants were involved. Ed.) occurred. Although the main events occurred in the south-east of England, particularly Essex, Kent and London, revolts and public unrest occurred in other parts of England too; and the north did not escape.

    Wikipedia records that:

    In the town of Beverley, violence broke out between the richer mercantile elite and the poorer townspeople during May. By the end of the month the rebels had taken power and replaced the former town administration with their own. The rebels attempted to enlist the support of Alexander Neville, the Archbishop of York, and in June forced the former town government to agree to arbitration through Neville. Peace was restored in June 1382 but tensions continued to simmer for many years.

    Hard on the heels of the events of 1381, 1395 was a pivotal year in English literary history with the appearance of Geoffrey Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales. Chaucer himself wrote (and probably spoke) in the East Midlands dialect which was prevalent in places such as London, Oxford and Cambridge, and was one of the most influential medieval English dialects in forming Modern English. However, he knew the Northern dialect too and it is spoken by the two northern clerks in the Reeve’s Tale.

    The tale concerns Symkyn, a miller of Trumpington near Cambridge. He overcharged the steward of Soler Hall (which later became part of Trinity College), the college steward was too ill to face him. Two clerical students there, John and Aleyn, originally from Strother in north east England (a place now lost in the historical and geographical record. Ed.), are outraged at this theft and vow to beat the miller at his own game. The north-eastern accent of the two clerks is also the earliest surviving attempt in English literature to record a dialect from an area other than that of the main writer and is believed to be the first effort in English to extract comedy from imitating accents.

    And that linguistic divide has existed since at least Chaucer’s time, with occasional low-level mutual disdain for the accents and dialects of north and south. One of my nieces – a Lancashire lass – did her degree in London. Whilst in London she was constantly told how northern she sounded; during visits back to the red rose county, the perceived loss of her accent and perceived adoption of southern speech were also remarked upon.

    Over the centuries distinct differences other than linguistic have also grown up. Take food for instance. Bury has long been regarded by many as the traditional home of black pudding, whilst London will always be associated with jellied eels. Pie lovers generally associate decent pies with the north (see Hairy Bikers. Ed.). Turning to music, London has the Royal College of Music; Manchester is home to the Royal Northern College of Music. On the sports field the north has long been the home of rugby league (13 players per side) whilst rugby union (15 per side) has long predominated in the south. Plenty of other examples in other fields are also available.

    Motorway style signage indicating roundabout exit for Hatfield and the NorthBefore drawing to an end, it’s worth noting that where the north and south of England both begin and end is not fixed. If one is on the M1 down near London, the motorway signage clearly indicates that the North begins beyond Hatfield in Hertfordshire. In contrast, my Mancunian friend Steve defines the start of the North as anywhere north of a horizontal line at Knutsford Services on the M6 in line with the general rule that the further north one goes, the further north the south begins.

    So, returning to and paraphrasing the PFJ’s Reg, apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system and public health, did the Romans also give England its north-south divide? Have your say in the comments below.

  • A new salute

    At one time right-wingers and fascists could be recognised by their giving the Roman salute (also known as the fascist salute. Ed.) or Nazi salute.

    In the former the right hand is swung from the left shoulder to fully extend the right arm forward perpendicular to the torso, with palm down, and fingers touching. In some versions, the arm is raised upward at an angle; in others, it is held out parallel to the ground. In the latter the salute is performed by raising and extending the right arm forward at an upward angle with a straightened hand, fingers together, and palm facing downward.

    In recent times, however, it appears these two traditional gestures of the far right have been superseded by another that is popular amongst populists – the thumbs-up signal, as demonstrated when they dined in Florida at the weekend by the disgraced 45th and current disgraceful 47th President of the United States, adjudicated sexual predator, condemned business fraudster, convicted felon and compulsive liar, one Donald John Trump (who is on a personal quest to Make America Grate Again or something similar. Ed.) and the part-time dishonourable member of parliament for Clacton, a grifter and charlatan rejoicing in the name of Nigel Paul Farage.

    Trump and Farage giving the thumbs up
    Image courtesy of the White House

    Farage’s trip has drawn plenty of adverse criticism, including from Lib Dem leader Ed Davey: “I see Farage is off to Mar-a-Lago to talk down Britain and suck up to Trump. There’s nothing patriotic about cheering on a foreign leader whose illegal war is sending British families’ energy bills through the roof.

    For those who bemoan modernisation, there are plenty of those out there on the right who still prefer tradition, like Elon Musk.

  • Bezos title cheerleading for war

    The image below courtesy of the Washington Post (proprietor one Trump-supporting, union-bashing billionaire rejoicing in the name of Jeffrey Preston Bezos. Ed.) came into your ‘umble scribe’s social media timeline this morning.

    Washington Post opinion piece with a headline reading In the long run, wars make us safer and richer

    There have always been those who profit from wars, from spivs operating on the black market (posts passim) to arms manufacturers.

    Wars always entail casualties, one of the first being reputed to be the truth.

    The Washington Post’s attitude illustrated in the opinion piece’s title reminds your correspondent of the quotation attributed to the then British Prime Minister Stanley Baldwin during a tough spell in the 1930s:

    What the proprietorship of these papers is aiming at is power, and power without responsibility—the prerogative of the harlot throughout the ages.

    No further comment is necessary, save perhaps one sentence from my political science lecturer, the late Elfed Roberts, in a lecture on war over five decades ago: “War is the destruction of the fittest“.

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