Language

  • It’s Pi Day

    Steve WoodsLanguage, Oddities, Tech

    Today is March 14th, or in the American system of time and date notation 3.14.

    the numbers 3, 1 and 4 just happen to be the first three numbers of Pi (π), a mathematical constant denoting the ratio of a circle’s circumference to its diameter.

    Pi Day was first celebrated in the United States after being founded in 1988 by the late Larry Shaw, formerly an employee of the Exploratorium science museum in San Francisco. Celebrations often involve either eating pie or holding Pi recitation competitions, or both.

    Steak and ale pie complete with Pi
    A magnificent home-made Pi pie.
    Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

    Besides Pi Day, some people also celebrate Pi Approximation Day on 22nd July (22/7).

  • Bristol Live exclusive: abstract nouns become tool users

    Steve WoodsBristol, Language, Media, Oddities

    Bristol ‘Live’, the city’s newspaper of (warped) record is a frequent source of exclusives, i.e. news limited to the possession, control or use by a title or group of titles. However, most of these go unrecognised or are ignored by the paper itself.

    One such occurred this morning when the piece in the screenshot below was added to the title’s website.

    Headline Police update after arrests made during Bristol protests where horseback offers used batons

    It seems the city and county of Bristol and its forces of law in order in particular have some very skilled abstract nouns called offers. Not only can they control domestic animals – horses – but are also able to use tools/weapons (batons) at the same time.

    Why have these highly talented abstract nouns not received attention the so richly merit in the past? Diligent proofreading perchance? 😀

  • Exclusive: Wiltshire man murdered on social media server

    Steve WoodsBristol, Language, Media, Oddities, Social Media

    One definition of the noun ambiguity in English is “a word or expression that can be understood in two or more possible ways“.

    Nearly 5 decades ago, when your ‘umble scribe started his first job as a staff translator for Imperial Tobacco and was being schooled in how to write in the company’s internal house style, one definite rule that was imposed was that of avoiding any and all ambiguity.

    This is a practice that does not seem to be prevalent in titles in the current Reach plc newspaper stable, including Bristol ‘Live’, the conglomerate’s newspaper of (warped) record for the greater Bristol area.

    And so it came to pass that in the process of trawling social media for something that qualifies as investigative ‘journalism’, the Post looked further afield than the BS postcode and ventured into the the wilds of Wiltshire for a story.

    Headline - I found out my boy had been stabbed to death on Facebook

    Yes, that’s right! If one just read the headline, the impression is given that the murder victim was killed on a server in the employ of Mark Zuckerberg. However, in the actual body of the report, the copy does state that no killing occurred on Facebook itself.

    The mum of a murdered teen found out about the killing on Facebook before receiving a phone call asking if it was true.

    How the headline and the copy body can portray two different versions what transpired seems to have by-passed its two named authors and the SWNS news agency credited as being responsible for writing the piece is beyond belief. In the old days, this would have been picked up and remedied by a sub-editor (before Reach made them all redundant. Ed.). All 3 parties involved were obviously not paying attention either in school English classes or media studies lectures when some of the finer points of good writing were being imparted.

  • A new acronym

    Steve WoodsAI, Language, Social Media, Tech

    A new acronym came into view in your ‘umble scribe’s social media timeline last month: AI;DR, as shown below.

    Post reads over on threads someone just use [sic] ai;dr and we all need to adopt that right quick

    This is a modification of the already extant acronym TL;DR (too long; don’t read) to embrace the recent development of artificial intelligence and shows the dynamism that language has always had, adapting quickly to new ideas, concepts and items.

    And long may it continue. 😀

  • Bezos title cheerleading for war

    Steve WoodsLanguage, Media, Politics, Social Media

    The image below courtesy of the Washington Post (proprietor one Trump-supporting, union-bashing billionaire rejoicing in the name of Jeffrey Preston Bezos. Ed.) came into your ‘umble scribe’s social media timeline this morning.

    Washington Post opinion piece with a headline reading In the long run, wars make us safer and richer

    There have always been those who profit from wars, from spivs operating on the black market (posts passim) to arms manufacturers.

    Wars always entail casualties, one of the first being reputed to be the truth.

    The Washington Post’s attitude illustrated in the opinion piece’s title reminds your correspondent of the quotation attributed to the then British Prime Minister Stanley Baldwin during a tough spell in the 1930s:

    What the proprietorship of these papers is aiming at is power, and power without responsibility—the prerogative of the harlot throughout the ages.

    No further comment is necessary, save perhaps one sentence from my political science lecturer, the late Elfed Roberts, in a lecture on war over five decades ago: “War is the destruction of the fittest“.

  • Racist: it’s your fault you’re offended

    Steve WoodsLanguage, Media, Politics, Social Media

    Racist Jim Ratcliffe
    Ratcliffe the racist. Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.
    After the revelations in the news this week, it’s a fair comment to say that ‘Sir’ Jim Ratcliffe has more money than brain cells. Indeed he has so much money that he is no longer resident in the Untied Kingdom and has moved to Monte Carlo, the historic sunny place for shady people, to spend time with substantially more of his money due to the micro-state’s generosity to the super rich in matters fiscal.

    However, having a view of the Côte d’Azur has not prevented him from having some vile, bigoted views of what’s happening north of the English Channel.

    In an interview earlier this week with Sky News, the ‘businessman‘ and minority shareholder in Manchester United remarked that the UK has been “colonised by immigrants“, as well as having a swipe at those unfortunate enough to be forced to claim Blighty’s less than generous state benefits.

    His racism drew criticism not only from just from the country’s political elite, but also from his club Manchester United’s own football fans.

    Outside Old Trafford itself, the following billboard subvertisement has appeared according to your ‘umble scribe’s social media timeline, with a billboard outside Old TRafford being subvertised with the slogan: “Immigrants have done more for this city than billionaire tax dodgers ever will“.

    One day later, Ratcliffe issued the by now standard non-apology, stating “sorry that my choice of language has offended some people in the UK and Europe and caused concern“, i.e. if you were offended by my choice of language, that’s entirely your own fault and not mine.

    Commenting on Ratcliffe’s remarks, today’s Guardian editorial states: “Normalising inflammatory language which presents migrants as hostile invaders does not enhance the possibility of civilised discussion. It contributes to the rise of everyday racism and xenophobia on the UK’s streets.”

  • Can’t tell Kernewek from Cymraeg? You must be Tesco

    Steve WoodsLanguage

    There must have been red faces all round in Tesco’s boardroom yesterday.

    In a bid to ingratiate themselves with the residents of Helston in Cornwall (and thus extract more revenue from their bank accounts. Ed), Tesco bosses decided the store needed bilingual signage.

    So signage in the vernacular was duly installed, according to The Guardian.

    However, the signs were in the wrong vernacular as signage in Cymraeg (Welsh) was installed, instead of in Kernewek (Cornish).

    Bilingual English/Cymraeg sign in Cornish spuermarket

    There are about 400 to 500 advanced speakers of Kernewek with between 2,500 and 5,000 people having some basic ability in the language. More than 100,000 people expressed their main national identity, ethnicity or main language as Cornish in the 2021 census.

    The Cornish people are a recognised national minority under the European Framework Convention for the Protection of National Minorities, meaning they share the same status as the Welsh, Irish and Scots within the UK.

    The company has since apologised for the cock-up and removed the signs.

  • Metrology – introducing the corgi

    Steve WoodsLanguage, Media, Social Media

    The United States of America has long had a system of weights and measures that make the British Imperial system seem logical even if the latter does include such oddities as the furlong, chain and barleycorn even just in the length measurements alone.

    And the US metrological landscape has just been augmented by one East Coast addition to the units of measurement.

    Your ‘umble scribe much prefers the symmetry and simplicity of the metric system that he was first taught and used in science and mathematics classes six decades ago and which still has to adopted wholeheartedly by a British state allegedly unwilling to upset or confuse (really? Ed.) those of his generation, although he suspects this reluctance is also heavily coloured by a large measure of English/British exceptionalism.

    In addition to the officially adopted systems of weights and measures, ordinary folk have always used their own informal and somewhat odd units. In the past this site has covered the introduction – usually by the mainstream media – of units as diverse as the Stockholm (housing stock/housing crisis) and the Leaning Tower of Pisa (height).

    As mentioned above, these venerable units of measurement have now been joined by another – the corgi – which is currently being used in North Carolina to assess the depth of the local snowfall. 😀

    Post reads 'I can officially confirm that the snow in NC is now roughly one (1) corgi deep.'

  • A nightmare at the movies

    Steve WoodsLanguage, Media, Politics, Social Media, Tech

    A new ‘documentary’ film is currently being shown in cinemas across the United States. Entitled Melania, it documents the life of Melania Knauss Trump, the first lady of the United States, in the twenty days before the second presidential inauguration of her husband, the disgraced 45th and current disgraceful 47th President of the United States, adjudicated sexual predator, condemned business fraudster, convicted felon and compulsive liar, one Donald John Trump (who is on a personal quest to Make America Grate Again or something similar. Ed.).

    According to The Guardian, Amazon MGM Studios bought the rights to the film for $40m – which reportedly included a considerable sum to the subject of the film (no surprise there! The whole tRump family are high gains grifters. Ed.) – and is spending $35m on a global marketing push. This spend has so far been mostly in the US, with TV spots, billboards and a takeover of Las Vegas’s immersive events venue The Sphere.

    However, the film is not proving popular either with the public or the critics. As regards the latter, this might just be due to the mainstream press not being invited by Amazon the the premiere at the Kennedy Center.

    The exclusion of the Fourth Estate may also explain the dire reviews the film has been receiving, such as the one below ascribed to Variety, although Yahoo News suggests this could be a misattribution.

    Post reads Best review ever. On the Netflix Melania “documentary”: 'If they showed this film on a plane, people would still walk out.' -Variety

    What is more, it’s not just film critics that have been drawing attention to the film’s awfulness. Members of the public reviewing it on IMDb have given it an average score of 1.3 out of ten.

    However, this criticism is quite mild compared with the defaced bus stop poster portrayed below, which prompts ypour ‘umble scribe to ask when exactly will the so-called Epstein Files be released in full?

    Bus stop poster for film with addendum My husband fucks kids

    Update 31/01/2026: Another tranche of the Epstein Files was released yesterday, with at least one wag on social media suggesting the files’ release was intended to distract from from the Melania documentary.

    Post reads Can't believe they released the Epstein files to cover up for the Melania movie.

    Update 03/02/2026: The film continues to get panned, as revealed by this social media post referring to a recent review in The Grauniad.

    Post reads Brutal correction on the Guardian’s review of Melania: “The star rating for this film was corrected on 2 February 2026. A formatting issue led an earlier version to be awarded one star, when the reviewer’s intention was zero”

  • Irish language to have equal status with English during Irish EU presidency

    Steve WoodsLanguage, Politics

    Ireland coat of armsThe presidency of the Council of Ministers rotates between the European Union’s member states every six months. The presidency is currently occupied by Cyprus until 30th June 2026.

    On 1st June 2026 the presidency switches to Ireland, which has announced that for the first time in its membership of the organisation, the Irish language will have equal status with English during its presidency.

    Irish is recognised by the Constitution of Ireland as the national and first official language of the Republic of Ireland (English being the other official language). However, in spite this, almost all government business and legislative debate is conducted in English.

    According to the Irish Times piece, all official documents, policy programmes and press releases will be in Irish and English, while content on the Irish presidency website will be available in Irish, English and French.

    Furthermore, the Irish government has also given a commitment that content requiring immediate publication, such as European Council decisions, will be published simultaneously in Irish and English where feasible and within a very short period of each other, if not, with the aim of ensuring that Irish has close to equal status to English during the six-month term of the presidency.

    The commitment to the Irish language even extends to encouraging the use of Irish at all formal council meetings in Brussels and Luxembourg and during informal meetings in Ireland.

    The Irish EU presidency will also feature cultural programmes involving Irish language literature, arts and music. This programme will be co-ordinated by Culture Ireland in consultation with the Department of the Gaeltacht.

    Whereas Irish used to be the first language of the majority of Ireland’s population before the 20th century, its usage has since declined considerably. According to Wikipedia, the total number of people (aged 3 and over) in Ireland who declared they could speak Irish in April 2022 was 1,873,997, representing 40% of respondents, but of these, 472,887 said they never spoke it and a further 551,993 said they only spoke it within the education system.Linguistic analyses of Irish speakers are therefore based primarily on the number of daily users in Ireland outside the education system, which in 2022 was 20,261 in the Gaeltacht and 51,707 outside it, totalling 71,968.

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