English usage | Steve Woods

Exclusive: Wiltshire man murdered on social media server

06/03/2026 Steve WoodsBristol, Language, Media, Oddities, Social Media

One definition of the noun ambiguity in English is “a word or expression that can be understood in two or more possible ways“.

Nearly 5 decades ago, when your ‘umble scribe started his first job as a staff translator for Imperial Tobacco and was being schooled in how to write in the company’s internal house style, one definite rule that was imposed was that of avoiding any and all ambiguity.

This is a practice that does not seem to be prevalent in titles in the current Reach plc newspaper stable, including Bristol ‘Live’, the conglomerate’s newspaper of (warped) record for the greater Bristol area.

And so it came to pass that in the process of trawling social media for something that qualifies as investigative ‘journalism’, the Post looked further afield than the BS postcode and ventured into the the wilds of Wiltshire for a story.

Yes, that’s right! If one just read the headline, the impression is given that the murder victim was killed on a server in the employ of Mark Zuckerberg. However, in the actual body of the report, the copy does state that no killing occurred on Facebook itself.

The mum of a murdered teen found out about the killing on Facebook before receiving a phone call asking if it was true.

How the headline and the copy body can portray two different versions what transpired seems to have by-passed its two named authors and the SWNS news agency credited as being responsible for writing the piece is beyond belief. In the old days, this would have been picked up and remedied by a sub-editor (before Reach made them all redundant. Ed.). All 3 parties involved were obviously not paying attention either in school English classes or media studies lectures when some of the finer points of good writing were being imparted.
A new acronym

05/03/2026 Steve WoodsAI, Language, Social Media, Tech

A new acronym came into view in your ‘umble scribe’s social media timeline last month: AI;DR, as shown below.

This is a modification of the already extant acronym TL;DR (too long; don’t read) to embrace the recent development of artificial intelligence and shows the dynamism that language has always had, adapting quickly to new ideas, concepts and items.

And long may it continue. 😀
Racist: it’s your fault you’re offended

13/02/2026 Steve WoodsLanguage, Media, Politics, Social Media

Ratcliffe the racist. Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.
After the revelations in the news this week, it’s a fair comment to say that ‘Sir’ Jim Ratcliffe has more money than brain cells. Indeed he has so much money that he is no longer resident in the Untied Kingdom and has moved to Monte Carlo, the historic sunny place for shady people, to spend time with substantially more of his money due to the micro-state’s generosity to the super rich in matters fiscal.

However, having a view of the Côte d’Azur has not prevented him from having some vile, bigoted views of what’s happening north of the English Channel.

In an interview earlier this week with Sky News, the ‘businessman‘ and minority shareholder in Manchester United remarked that the UK has been “colonised by immigrants“, as well as having a swipe at those unfortunate enough to be forced to claim Blighty’s less than generous state benefits.

His racism drew criticism not only from just from the country’s political elite, but also from his club Manchester United’s own football fans.

Outside Old Trafford itself, the following billboard subvertisement has appeared according to your ‘umble scribe’s social media timeline, with a billboard outside Old TRafford being subvertised with the slogan: “Immigrants have done more for this city than billionaire tax dodgers ever will“.

One day later, Ratcliffe issued the by now standard non-apology, stating “sorry that my choice of language has offended some people in the UK and Europe and caused concern“, i.e. if you were offended by my choice of language, that’s entirely your own fault and not mine.

Commenting on Ratcliffe’s remarks, today’s Guardian editorial states: “Normalising inflammatory language which presents migrants as hostile invaders does not enhance the possibility of civilised discussion. It contributes to the rise of everyday racism and xenophobia on the UK’s streets.”
Metrology – introducing the corgi

01/02/2026 Steve WoodsLanguage, Media, Social Media

The United States of America has long had a system of weights and measures that make the British Imperial system seem logical even if the latter does include such oddities as the furlong, chain and barleycorn even just in the length measurements alone.

And the US metrological landscape has just been augmented by one East Coast addition to the units of measurement.
Your ‘umble scribe much prefers the symmetry and simplicity of the metric system that he was first taught and used in science and mathematics classes six decades ago and which still has to adopted wholeheartedly by a British state allegedly unwilling to upset or confuse (really? Ed.) those of his generation, although he suspects this reluctance is also heavily coloured by a large measure of English/British exceptionalism.

In addition to the officially adopted systems of weights and measures, ordinary folk have always used their own informal and somewhat odd units. In the past this site has covered the introduction – usually by the mainstream media – of units as diverse as the Stockholm (housing stock/housing crisis) and the Leaning Tower of Pisa (height).

As mentioned above, these venerable units of measurement have now been joined by another – the corgi – which is currently being used in North Carolina to assess the depth of the local snowfall. 😀
A nightmare at the movies

30/01/2026 Steve WoodsLanguage, Media, Politics, Social Media, Tech

A new ‘documentary’ film is currently being shown in cinemas across the United States. Entitled Melania, it documents the life of Melania Knauss Trump, the first lady of the United States, in the twenty days before the second presidential inauguration of her husband, the disgraced 45th and current disgraceful 47th President of the United States, adjudicated sexual predator, condemned business fraudster, convicted felon and compulsive liar, one Donald John Trump (who is on a personal quest to Make America Grate Again or something similar. Ed.).

According to The Guardian, Amazon MGM Studios bought the rights to the film for $40m – which reportedly included a considerable sum to the subject of the film (no surprise there! The whole tRump family are high gains grifters. Ed.) – and is spending $35m on a global marketing push. This spend has so far been mostly in the US, with TV spots, billboards and a takeover of Las Vegas’s immersive events venue The Sphere.

However, the film is not proving popular either with the public or the critics. As regards the latter, this might just be due to the mainstream press not being invited by Amazon the the premiere at the Kennedy Center.

The exclusion of the Fourth Estate may also explain the dire reviews the film has been receiving, such as the one below ascribed to Variety, although Yahoo News suggests this could be a misattribution.

What is more, it’s not just film critics that have been drawing attention to the film’s awfulness. Members of the public reviewing it on IMDb have given it an average score of 1.3 out of ten.

However, this criticism is quite mild compared with the defaced bus stop poster portrayed below, which prompts ypour ‘umble scribe to ask when exactly will the so-called Epstein Files be released in full?

Update 31/01/2026: Another tranche of the Epstein Files was released yesterday, with at least one wag on social media suggesting the files’ release was intended to distract from from the Melania documentary.

Update 03/02/2026: The film continues to get panned, as revealed by this social media post referring to a recent review in The Grauniad.
Security and wearable animals

15/01/2026 Steve WoodsLanguage, Oddities, Security, Social Media

A number of years ago, wearable technology looked set to become all the rage.

Mention of it has declined noticeably in recent years. When, for instance, was the last time you heard of or encountered, say, Google Glass?

On the other hand, wearable animals – or parts of animals – have a history that extends back into prehistory, in particular that epoch known as the Palaeolithic, the longest period in human history.

Nevertheless, the manners in which animals or their parts have been used have adapted over the millennia in response to technological changes and development.

A recent example of such an adaptation is shown below. It cropped up in your correspondent’s social media timeline today, although a reverse image search indicates it might have originated a couple of years ago.

Why Is The First Letter of Each Word Capitalised?

Are other identity animals available? Comment below.
A few corrections from Merriam Webster

14/01/2026 Steve WoodsLanguage, Social Media

Shamelessly lifted from social media, Merriam-Webster is making an effort to remedy the modern vicious circle (not cycle. Ed.) of misquoted adages.

One stands corrected

Merriam-Webster describes itself as “America’s most trusted dictionary“. It’s also the USA’s oldest dictionary publisher, whose presses first started producing reference books in 1843, according to Wikipedia.

Your ‘umble scribe hopes the company’s efforts are not in vain, as language skills generally seem to be declining. 🙁
Illiteracy or obstinacy?

12/01/2026 Steve WoodsBristol, Language, Politics

The Tenovus charity shop on St Mark’s Road is currently closed for refurbishment.

However, this does not seem to have been noticed by the local members of the Hard of Thinking Club, who are continuing to dump their donations outside the shop’s door.

The operators/owners of the shop have recently decided to post a notice on the shop’s door shutter informing those generous but misguided patrons of the error of their ways.

Let’s ignore the writing on the wall.

Just like other notices in Bristol, e.g. the ones that say no parking, Tenovus’ sign has been ignored.

Is ignoring the notice due to illiteracy or plain, simple bloody-mindedness? Have your say in the comments.

Meanwhile, if you see fly-tipping, any other environmental crime or something that needs fixing, you can report it to Bristol City Council here, otherwise central government’s GOV.UK site has a handy page to find your local authority in England, Scotland and Wales and notify it of such problems.
A message to Donald

09/01/2026 Steve WoodsLanguage, Politics, Social Media

Your ‘umble scribe is unaware how many times a week – if any – the disgraced former 45th president and current disgraceful 47th president of the United States of America, insurrectionist, convicted felon, adjudicated sexual predator, business fraudster, congenital liar and golf cheat commonly known as Donald John Trump (who is on a mission to Make America Grate Again or something similar. Ed.) catches either a number 77, 87, 196, 452 or N87 from the bus stop at London’s Nine Elms Underground station, but it will do his narcissistic personality disorder no good at all.

The poster below has this week appeared at the bus stop in response to the USA’s attack on Venezuela and kidnapping of its president, Nicolás Maduro, earlier this week.

Of course, having the US military at one’s control does mean that The Donald, as commander-in-chief of the US armed forces, is able to call on their members to indulge in the ultimate ‘look over there‘ tactics when required to distract from his embarrassing local difficulties caused by his long-term friendship with the late American financier, human trafficker, child sex offender and serial rapist Jeffrey Epstein, as the thousands of documents known as the Epstein files slowly make their redacted way into the public domain and which he and his sycophantic subordinates seem very reluctant to release, despite the existence and imperative of the Epstein Files Transparency Act, not to mention the Tango Terrorists campaign trail promise to release the files.

There’s an old adage that says you can tell a man by the company he keeps.

Before we end, a quick translation from EN-GB for any American readers. You will not find the definition of nonce as used above in a standard American dictionary; you’ll need a British one. It’s British prison slang to denote a person who commits a crime involving sex, especially sex with a child. This definition is taken from the Cambridge online English Dictionary.

Which country will tRump invade next as a distraction from his next scandal? Have your say in the comments.
The seven deadly sins in the tech age

02/01/2026 Steve WoodsLanguage, Social Media, Tech

According to the Catholic version of Christianity, there are seven deadly sins, i.e. pride, greed, wrath, envy, lust, gluttony, and sloth. Although they are not explicitly listed in the Bible, they developed within early Christian theological tradition. Furthermore, Psychology Today speculates that their origins ‘are nebulous and likely trace back to before Hellenistic Greece‘, even though if offers no source for such an assertion. All evidence of their orin tends to point to the early Christian era and more specifically Evagrius Ponticus, a monk in fourth century Egypt.

These seven transgressions are also known as cardinal sins, although whether this alternative naming is derived from the sinning scarlet-garbed clergy committing them is not well documented. This naming is likely derived from the other definition of cardinal, i.e. fundamental, of the greatest importance (think the cardinal points of the compass. Ed.).

Anyway, a new revision of the seven deadly sins has been posted on social media updated for the early 21st century and it bears a distinctly technological character.

Is this an accurate rendition? Have your say below in the comments.

Posts navigation