Politics

  • Clowns and palaces, dogs and vomit

    Elizabeth Mary Truss, alleged Prime Minister of the English EmpireYesterday, one Mary Elizabeth Truss, inexplicably elevated to leadership of the Conservative Party by its members, resigned as the Prime Minister of the English Empire (which some still call the United Kingdom. Ed.).

    She was in office for a mere 45 days – the shortest tenure of any UK prime minister. Her nearest rival for that accolade is George Canning, who survived in office for 119 days before dying due to ill health in 1827.

    In her brief period of office, Truss proved just how incompetent and out of her depth she was in Number 10. In just 45 days Truss exhibited amply that she would be out her depth on a damp pavement, even though this was glaringly obvious during her time pretending to be foreign secretary (posts passim).

    In those few weeks, she has managed to do lasting damage, not least with a disastrous mini-budget, featuring included the biggest tax cuts since 1972, funded by a vast expansion in borrowing. This resulted amongst other things in a run on the pound, Bank of England market interventions and a rise in interest rates, particularly for those with mortgages to pay. This mini-budget cooked up by Truss and her then Chancellor of the Exchequer Kwasi Kwarteng; a budget from two passionate advocates of the free market that was roundly rejected by the markets themselves.

    How embarrassing.

    Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson The campaign to replace Truss has now started and, although no-one has yet announced any intentions to stand for the Tory leadership, one possible contender has already been mooted: the disgraced former party-time alleged prime minister, one Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, a man whose journey to adulthood clearly involved the surgical removal of anything resembling integrity, whilst his narcissism was being force-fed like a goose destined to end up as the raw material for foie gras.

    Johnson’s term of office ended ignominiously with mass resignations – sixty in all – from his administration, during which 10 Downing Street became party central for politicians, civil servants and Conservative party workers during the coronavirus pandemic, the Partygate scandal.

    Johnson is still under investigation for misleading the House of Commons over Partygate. If found guilty, ordinary members of Parliament are suspended from the House, whilst government ministers so found are expected to resign their portfolio.

    Returning to Johnson’s buffoonery, there’s an old Turkish adage which seems eminently pertinent to Johnson, given his Turkish ancestry.

    When a clown moves into a palace, he doesn’t become a sultan. The palace becomes a circus.

    Upon his departure from Downing Street, Johnson memorably compared himself to Lucius Quinctius Cincinnatus*, a 5th century Roman statesman and politician who retired from public life and “returned to his plough”, only to return later to lead as its dictator.

    However, your ‘umble scribe believes that Johnson should forget any allusions to Cincinnatus* if he is seriously contemplating being a candidate to regain the Tory leadership. A more apposite comparison comes from the book of Proverbs in the Old Testament, Proverbs 26:11 to be specific.

    As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.

    * = Cincinnatus’ second term as dictator lasted a mere 21 days before his resignation. However, even a further 21 days of Johnson would be 21 days too many.

    PS: never trust a man who combs his hair with a balloon! 😀

  • Red menace in SW1

    Your ‘umble scribe recalls a phrase from his Cold War childhood – the Red Menace. This was a term used at that time to describe the Soviet Union or an “international communist conspiracy”; an alternative was the Red Scare. By the time of the Cold War, the Russian revolution and establishment of the Soviet Union caused widespread concern among the political elites of the major powers for many decades.

    However, Larry the Downing Street cat (aka Chief Mouser to the Cabinet Office. Ed.) has been dealing with a red menace of his own in the shape of Reynard the Fox.

    Any connection of Larry’s interloper with Keir Starmer’s Labour Party should be dismissed. The fox’s colouration far too dubious to be allowed into his nominally red party. 😀

  • Family matters

    There are some writers whose importance does not diminish with their demise. Take, for example, the ancient Athenian playwright Aristophanes; his plays are still being staged nearly two and half millennia after his death; then there’s that genius in understanding human emotions and the human condition, William Shakespeare.

    George Orwell press card photoTo these giants of literature, your ‘umble scribe would add the name of George Orwell. Even though he died in 1950, his works still seem startlingly relevant to life in the 21st century and its politics in particular. The major annual prize for political writing in the English Empire (which some still call the United Kingdom. Ed.) is named after him.

    Nineteen Eighty-Four (in words, not numerals. Ed.), which was written in 1948 and published in 1949, was intended as a warning against authoritarianism and oppression. However, successive twenty-first century governments seem to have used it as a manual for the implementation of mass surveillance of the population and the removal of their right to privacy, particularly as regards the use of information technology (via e.g. the Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act 2000); and all in the name of so-called security.

    What has been exercising your correspondent this morning is a particular passage from The Lion and the Unicorn: Socialism and the English Genius. This was an essay written in 1941 during World War 2 relating to the state of the English, as opposed to the British. In particular, it highlights the outdated English class system as a major impediment in the mid-20th century, as exemplified below.

    England is not the jewelled isle of Shakespeare’s much-quoted message, nor is it the inferno depicted by Dr Goebbels. More than either it resembles a family, a rather stuffy Victorian family, with not many black sheep in it but with all its cupboards bursting with skeletons. It has rich relations who have to be kow-towed to and poor relations who are horribly sat upon, and there is a deep conspiracy of silence about the source of the family income. It is a family in which the young are generally thwarted and most of the power is in the hands of irresponsible uncles and bedridden aunts. Still, it is a family. It has its private language and its common memories, and at the approach of an enemy it closes its ranks. A family with the wrong members in control – that, perhaps, is as near as one can come to describing England in a phrase.

    Looking at the cupboards bursting with skeletons, one only has to look at the colonial oppressors and crooks that our Victorian forebears sought to elevate to figures of admiration, such as Robert ‘Lord Vulture’ Clive, who used his position in the East India Comp;any for personal enrichment and the likes of Waterloo hero Thomas Picton, formerly a sadistic and cruel governor of Trinidad. Both Clive and Picton have featured in the recent statue wars where the right wing, including government ministers, sought to deny the brutality of empire and its legacy. Sorry, but introducing the system of common law and the game of cricket are not adequate compensation for centuries of plunder, expropriation, conquest, repression and genocide.

    Looking at the deep conspiracy of silence about the source of the family income, there has yet to be any official acknowledgement that the family income from the late 16th century onwards was based upon piracy and then increasingly upon slavery, for which some former British Caribbean colonies are clamouring increasingly for reparations.

    Elizabeth Mary Truss, alleged Prime Minister of the English EmpireFinally, let’s come to that family with the wrong members in control. They don’t come more wrong than the current occupant of Number 10 Downing Street, one Elizabeth Mary Truss.

    Truss is clearly an admirer – and blatant imitator – of her Tory predecessor Margaret Thatcher, who did so much to destroy the British economy and society in the 1980s. However, what really grates with many people is the manner in which Truss was elevated to the premiership, i.e. elected to the leadership of her party by its 160,000 strong membership which is mainly elderly, white, male and racist (occasionally referred to as a ‘selectorate‘. Ed.), and thus hardly representative of the country.

    If England truly is akin to a family, it is one that is deeply dysfunctional.

  • Welsh ‘tumbleweeds’ threat

    To paraphrase Jane Austen, it is a truth universally acknowledged that Tories are averse to taxation and using said the monies thus raised to fund public services for the benefit of all.

    Today’s Nation Cymru reports that Wales will become a land of ‘betting shops, tanning salons and tumbleweeds [sic]’ if a proposed visitor levy (aka a tourism tax. Ed.) currently being consulted upon by the Welsh government in a hysterical outburst from one Andrew RT Davies, alleged leader of the Conservative group in the Senedd.

    Writing in yesterday’s Daily Brexit (which some still call the Express. Ed.), Davies laid into the traditional class enemy, stating ‘Labour sit, like a lead foot, pressed down on the windpipe of Welsh business‘, adding that the proposed visitor levy would risk ‘livelihoods in our communities‘ as one in seven Welsh jobs is reliant on tourism. Davies is voicing the severe criticism of the proposed tourism levy from business organisations the length and breadth of Wales. Davies himself wrote that if the levy were introduced, ‘Wales would be nothing but betting shops, tanning salons and tumbleweeds‘.

    Tumbleweed in bloom in the Mojave desert
    Coming to Wales soon? Tumbleweed in bloom in the Mojave desert.
    Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.

    Many countries – and the constituent local public authorities of nation states – around the world already apply a tourism levy. After all, why should local taxpayers pick up the tab for the pressures tourists put on the public purse in popular visitor destinations?

    Speaking from experience, on his last visit to the Greek island of Crete, your ‘umble scribe noticed a distinct lack of betting shops, tanning salons and – most importantly – tumbleweeds despite paying a 5% tourism levy everywhere he stayed overnight. 😀

  • Dear Bristol City Council…

    FAO: Neighbourhood Enforcement Team


    This morning we were surprised to see that your red and white NO FLY TIPPING [sic] sign in Ducie Road car park just off Lawrence Hill has stopped working.

    We and other local residents would be most grateful if you could send an enforcement officer round as soon as possible to restart it.

    Thanking in advance.

    Sgd. Tidy BS5

    No fly-tipping sign in Ducie Road car park above fly-tipped waste
  • The Iron Lady’s successor – a ferrous weathercock

    The rise of the Thatcher fangirl, one Mary Elizabeth Truss, to the office of prime minister of the English Empire cannot be regarded as universally welcomed. Indeed her candidacy for the leadership of her party was supported by fewer than were seduced into putting an X against the name of her predecessor, one Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson (Truss garnered 57% of the vote for leader by party members, cf. 66% for the lying scarecrow).

    In her incarnation as Johnson’s Foreign Secretary over the last couple of years in Johnson’s cabinet of sycophants and Brexit zealots and during the party leadership campaign, Truss has hardly shone, managing top lose friends and alienate people, particularly important ones with whom the government wishes to negotiate trade deals, in particular the United States (a trade deal with the USA is regarded as the Holy Grail by those politicians who worship at the altar of Brexit. Ed.), by picking fights with those beastly foreigners on the other side of the so-called English Channel over the Northern Ireland Protocol, which she threatened to tear up, thereby trashing this country’s reputation as a firm believer in upholding international law.

    Nor have those beastly foreigners turned a blind eye to Truss’ roundabout route to arrive at the black-painted door of Number 10. They are only too aware that Truss started out as a member of the Liberal Democrats who is on record as supporting the abolition of the monarchy.

    During the Brexit referendum campaign, Truss still supported the country’s remaining in the European Union, only to do a 180 degree about turn before being elevated to high political office by the blonde scarecrow.

    In her climb up the Tory political ladder, Truss has made no secret of her admiration for the dreadful Margaret Hilda Thatcher, aka the Iron Lady, whose manner of dress and publicity stunts Truss has shameless emulated.

    Putting her changing political views and her imitation of Thatcher together, the French media have this week been referring to the English Empire’s fifth Tory prime minister since 2010 as the ‘Girouette de fer‘, i.e. the Iron Weathercock, as per the following typical example.

    Headline reads "Iron Weathercock: Europe reacts to Liz Truss becoming British prime minister
    Headline reads “Iron Weathercock: Europe reacts to Liz Truss becoming British prime minister
  • Enforcement notices – a tale of two cities

    Staying in Glasgow for a few days for my niece’s wedding, your correspondent cannot help comparing and contrasting the differences between how Glasgow and Bristol City Councils set about tackling the public nuisance and environmental crime of fly-tipping, particularly as regards the use of public notices for enforcement and dissuasion.

    Exhibit A: the public notices used by Bristol City Council.

    BCC A5 no fly-tipping sign

    This is an A5-sized sign with no redeeming graces, which threatens the maximum possible fine under law of £50,000 (no mention of the alter#native maximum penalty of 6 months’ imprisonment or a combination of the two. Ed.). Should anyone feel public -spirited enough to fancy reporting any fly-tipping, the public is directed to the council’s main switchboard number, with no mention of the very convenient option of reporting fly-tipping online.

    Exhibit B: a public notice used by Glasgow City Council, as seen in Holmlea Road.

    A4 sized no fly-tipping sign from Glasgow City Council

    The initial difference is the size of the notice: at least A4 instead of A5, i.e. twice the size. There’s no mention of any maximum penalty, but residents are encouraged to report Dumb Dumpers via a 24-hour 0845 number. 0845 telephone numbers are “business rate numbers” (otherwise known as “non-geographical premium rate phone numbers“, for which the charge for mobile telephones and landlines is “up to 7p and your phone company’s access charge“. The UKPhoneIfo website warns that “charges for dialling 0845 numbers can be significantly higher – up to 41p per minute” when calling from a mobile number and that “when an 0845 number is called, the call recipient receives a small share of the call cost.” This number is a Scotland-wide number for reporting fly-tipping (there’s also a pan-Scottish Dumb Dumpers reporting website too, Ed.), in addition to which Glasgow City Council website also offers online reporting of fly-tipping and other environmental crimes.

    Two more differences to Bristol are apparent: the locations of the council rubbish tips (civic amenity sites) are given in a further attempt to change anti-social behaviour, whilst finally residents are reminded that the state of the neighbourhood is their responsibility, as well as that of the council.

    There are lessons that Bristol City Council could learn from Glasgow, as long as it ditches the not invented here attitude that seems to pervade the corridors of the Counts Louse.

    One final note: even though the city is still being tidied up following the end of the recent Scottish bin collectors’ strike, your correspondent’s overall impression is that the streets of Glasgow are not as filthy as those of Bristol. Whether this is due to belittling and disparaging those who despoil the urban area as Dumb Dumpers has yet to be proven empirically, but is another tactic BCC could try, if so inclined.

  • Gentrification reaches fly-tipping

    Like many other parts of the city, the Easton area of Bristol has been subject to an immense wave of gentrification in the last decade or so, with all the usual signs: rocketing house prices, overpriced bacon butties made with sourdough, etc.

    Indeed, local house prices have risen so dramatically within the city that an old college mate’s son and his partner couldn’t afford to buy anywhere in BS5 and eventually had to move to Cheltenham in order to find somewhere more affordable than Bristol’s inner city.

    Last year the Bristol Post/Live published its own guide on how to spot the signs of gentrification.

    It would be fair to say that gentrification has given rise to some local resentment on the streets, as shown below.

    Sticker with wording Refugees welcome. Londoners piss off!

    The signs of gentrification have even started showing in the types of items fly-tipped on local streets (in a sort of waste-related version of trickle-down economics. Last month your ‘umble scribe reported his first ever fly-tipped futon base and one of his other tasks today is to notify the council of this morning’s sighting of a fly-tipped golf bag on St Mark’s Road.

    Fly-tipped golf bag

    Fore!

Posts navigation