language

  • Bloody Foreigner!

    Steve WoodsLanguage, Media, Politics

    There has been much scrutiny in the media about UKIP’s xenophobia in the run-up to tomorrow’s European Parliament election.

    Indeed, party leader Nigel Farage got into a little difficulty in a radio interview on LBC last week, giving rise to accusations of racism, something he later explained away as being due to tiredness.

    The picture below (for which Ade Cooper gets a tip of the hat. Ed.) should bring a smile to the face of anyone similarly stricken to me in years who doesn’t share young Nigel’s Little Englander view of the world.

    text on image reads Bloody Foreigner coming over here wanting to know what love is

    To prevent any further incursion of foreigners and/or Foreigner, perhaps the UK should deploy a squadron of Farage balloons around the coast. Similar to the barrage balloons used in the 20th century’s 2 world wars, these isolationist windbags could soon blow any threat of invasion to the shores of Blighty back to whence it came. 🙂

  • Ah! Bristo

    Steve WoodsBristol, Language, Media

    One of the features of the variety of English spoken in Bristol is the terminal ‘L’ – a final, intrusive ‘L’ on words ending in a vowel sound. As a consequence, Bristolians live in areals of the city and some of them do their shopping in Asdal.

    This terminal L found its earliest expression in the city’s name itself, which has mutated from Brigstowe in Saxon times.

    However, the terminal L is now under threat from poor writing and editing at the Bristol Post (or should that be Bristo Post? Ed.), as revealed in this blatant advertisement masquerading as news, complete with obligatory screenshot.

    Bristol Post screenshot

    More of this poorly written junk can be expected in future as the Bristol Post – along with the rest of the Local World group to which it belongs – will be making increasing use of user-provided content, presumably to save on employing trained journalists.

  • Another variant on the HMRC fake email

    Steve WoodsLanguage, Oddities, Tech

    This morning I discovered the fake HMRC email below in one of my inboxes.

    I’m disappointed to note that the senders of this one are only offering me a refund of £830.99; the previous bunch of scammers were offering £1,400.

    TAX RETURN FOR THE YEAR 2014
    RECALCULATION OF YOUR TAX REFUND
    HMRC 2010-2011
    LOCAL OFFICE No. 3819
    TAX CREDIT OFFICER: Jarrett Horn
    TAX REFUND ID NUMBER: 9896077
    REFUND AMOUNT: 830.99 GBP

    Dear Applicant,

    The contents of this email and any attachments are confidential and as applicable, copyright in these is reserved to HM Revenue & Customs.

    Unless expressly authorised by us, any further dissemination or distribution of this email or its attachments is prohibited.

    If you are not the intended recipient of this email, please reply to inform us that you have received this email in error and then delete it without retaining any copy.

    I am sending this email to announce: After the last annual calculation of your fiscal activity we have determined that you are eligible to receive a tax refund of 830.99 GBP

    You have attached the tax return form with the TAX REFUND NUMBER ID: 9896077, complete the tax return form attached to this message.

    After completing the form, please submit the form by clicking the SUBMIT button on form and allow us 5-9 business days in order to process it.

    Our head office address can be found on our web site at HM Revenue & Customs: http://www.hmrc.gov.uk

    Sincerely,

    Jarrett Horn
    HMRC Tax Credit Office
    Preston<br /.
    TAX REFUND ID: UK9896077-HMRC

    This email was delivered from a Korea Telecom server and came with an attachment -Refund-Form-ID_9896077.zip (the number in the zip file varies).

    Some of the language used – e.g. ‘fiscal activity‘ – is also a clue to its bogus nature. HMRC is supposed to use simpler English than that. Furthermore, note that the title seems to suggest the tax return concerned is for 2014, but the refund relates to 2011-2012. Not even HMRC is that slow in refunding money.

    If you’re on a Windows machine, opening that zip file is fraught with danger as the archive contains a Trojan which, when run, attempts to drop cryptolocker, ransomware and loads of other malware on your computer.

    As stated in an earlier post, HMRC never sends notifications of a tax rebate by email or asks taxpayers to disclose personal or payment information by email.

    As before, if you receive one of these emails, you are advised to forward it to phishing@hmrc.gsi.gov.uk and then delete it.

    Once again, consult HMRC’s website for comprehensive advice on phishing and bogus emails.

  • Spelling error clue to tax refund phishing scam

    Steve WoodsOddities, Tech

    Without exception, everyone likes to get money back off the taxman.

    That being so, how would you react if you found the email below in one of your mailboxes?

    screenshot of phishing email offering tax refund
    Genuine email from HMRC or a fake – can you tell?

    With the subject line “Error in the calculation of your tax“, all the right colours used by HMRC and genuine links to HMRC website pages on both the left and right of the main message, it definitely has the appearance of a genuine email from the taxman.

    Would your reaction be one of joy that HMRC is prepared to refund you £1,400 of your hard-earned cash? Would that then lead you to click on the link below that figure in green text – the one enticingly indicating My Refvund?

    Running my mouse over that link revealed that it did not go to the HMRC website at all, but a phishing page on a website that seems to be hosted in Bangkok, which is not somewhere I suspect that hosts many .gov.uk domains.

    In addition to the dodgy spelling of the link, another clue is the incorrect use of capitalisation in the final paragraph.

    In case readers were unaware of the HMRC’s procedures, the taxman never sends notifications of a tax rebate by email or asks taxpayers to disclose personal or payment information by email.

    HMRC’s advice to anyone who has received a HMRC-related phishing/bogus email it to forward it to phishing@hmrc.gsi.gov.uk and then delete it.

    HMRC’s website has comprehensive advice on phishing and bogus emails.

    Stay safe!

  • The rustication of Clifton

    Steve WoodsBristol, Language, Media

    Earlier today, the news section of the Bristol Post transported the city’s affluent district of Clifton to the countryside, describing it as ‘rural’, as shown in the following screenshot.

    screenshot of Post website showing dodgy wording

    According to the Oxford English Dictionary rural has many meanings; the one implied by the Post’s usage is the OED’s definition 1c:

    Employed or stationed in country districts.

    Are the people of Clifton yokels?

    Bristol absorbed Clifton in the 19th century, so any green wellies seen will be very clean and not covered in cow’s muck; they’ll be worn for fashion not for necessity. Although Clifton’s renowned Downs are still common land, the locals don’t seem to graze much livestock upon them. Nevertheless, some activities which may be regarded as animal take place up there.

    The word rural has since been removed from the headline.

    I always believed press articles supposed to be sub-edited before being posted. Apparently this does not seem to be the usual practice down at the Temple Way Ministry of Truth.

  • Liberal Democrats cannot spell Sussex

    Steve WoodsLanguage, Politics

    image of Norman Baker MP
    Illiterate – Norman Baker MP
    It seems hardly a week goes by without the Liberal Democrats having difficulties with their literature (posts passim).

    Brighton’s regional newspaper, The Argus, reported yesterday that Lewes MP Norman Baker has been spelling the name of the county wrong on the front page of a booklet sent out to his constituents.

    Apparently, Sussex was misspelt as Susex on the front of copies of the Let’s Talk booklet delivered to homes across his constituency.

    image of Catherine Bearder MEP
    Illiterate – Catherine Bearder MEP
    According to the report in The Argus, the leaflet states that Norman Baker and Lib Dem MEP Catherine Bearder are…. “Delivering for East Susex“.

    There was then an attempted cover-up with stickers being used to mask the error, but – as so often happens – some leaflets escaped this procedure and were delivered.

    Let’s Talk is another one of those template Liberal Democrat leaflets where local supporters supply the relevant text and locality name (posts passim).

    Here’s a little bit of advice for the Liberal Democrats: you’re probably using a word processor to produce copy for your leaflets. The word processor has a very useful little feature called a spellchecker. 🙂

  • Chinese hotel etiquette

    Steve WoodsLanguage, Oddities

    The image below recently cropped up in my Twitter timeline. Research seems to indicate the original document emanates from the Star Hotel in Guangzhou.

    Not being familiar with Chinese, I asked my good friend Ling Wong whether the English was an accurate translation of the Chinese; he has confirmed this. He also added that strange notices are a common feature of Chinese hotels.

    No further comment is required.

    image of hotel notice to guests

  • UKIP poster corrected

    Steve WoodsLanguage, Politics

    Somewhere out there in the UK, someone is taking a spray can to UKIP’s xenophobic European Parliament election campaign posters.

    UKIP poster amended to read No to Mass Hysteria

    Hat tip: Maria Aretoulaki

    Incidentally, if you get a UKIP election leaflet and you don’t wish to pollute your paper recycling with it, you can return it free of charge to them at the following address:

    UKIP FREEPOST
    RLSU-HZBG-UBBG
    Lexdrum House
    Heathfield
    Devon
    TQ12 6UT

  • Top Bristol Post headline today

    Steve WoodsBristol, Language, Media

    Today’s online edition of the Bristol Post features a great headline to this story, as per the screenshot below.

    Post article screenshot

    There is however one thing wrong with the headline: it isn’t true since male tortoises – being reptiles – don’t have a penis, but a cloaca (which is the Latin word for sewer. Ed.) – an opening that serves as the only opening for the intestinal, reproductive and urinary tracts of certain species.

    To be fair the fact that male tortoises have cloacas is indeed mentioned by the Post’s unnamed author in paragraph 2:

    The four year-old spur-thighed tortoise is suffering from a prolapse of the cloaca which requires immediate treatment.

    “Never let the truth get in the way of a good headline” seems to be a maxim of the British press at both local and national levels.

    Finally, this blog wishes Cedric and his owner every success in remedying Cedric’s problem. 🙂

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