Oddities | Steve Woods

Public health information

31/07/2025 Steve WoodsOddities, Politics, Social Media

From your ‘umble scribe’s social media timeline this morning.

Outside St Thomas’ Hospital in central London at the other end of Westminster Bridge from Halitosis Hall.

One wonders why governments around the world are not at all keen in eradicating the scourge of the ultra-rich, whom the planet can ill afford to accommodate. Just look at the emissions from their private jets, let alone the dubious company they keep (e.g. the inauguration of the disgraced former 45th president and current disgraceful 47th president of the United States of America, insurrectionist, convicted felon, adjudicated sexual predator, business fraudster, congenital liar and golf cheat commonly known as Donald John Trump) and their attempts to buy elections.

One can only hope that any passing politicians will absorb and act on this valuable health advice.
Spot the difference

27/06/2025 Steve WoodsLanguage, Oddities, Politics, Security, Social Media

From my social media timeline.

For those unaware of the actions of the racist US Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency under the less than benign presidency of the disgraced former 45th president and current disgraceful 47th president of the United States of America, insurrectionist, convicted felon, adjudicated sexual predator, business fraudster, congenital liar and golf cheat commonly known as Donald John Trump, the mock-up US road sign is on the right (naturally. Ed.).

The cruel actions of ICE are all part of The Felon’s chief mission to Make America Grate Again (or something like that. Ed.).
BBC exclusive – bronze rusts!

17/06/2025 Steve WoodsLanguage, Media, Oddities

The BBC loves to boast about the quality of its journalism.

However, every now and again, it manages to publish an untruth so egregious and also stupid that one wonders how it gained a reputation for high class output in the first place.

To continue our story, we must travel to Nottinghamshire and the banks of the River Trent.

In April members of the police Underwater Search Team found a corroded ship’s bell during a routine training exercise and brought it ashore for a closer look, where the name Humber Prince emerged after the item was cleaned.

The bell was formerly attached to a vessel originally known as the Esso Nottingham, which was built in 1956 and subsequently re-registered as the Humber Prince in 1964 by Hull-based company by John H Whitaker Tankers, which used to ferry hydrocarbons on the river.

Photo courtesy of Nottinghamshire Police

When the BBC published its version of the story, a remarkable thing happened; the bell had turned rusty.

However, there is no mention of rust or any other metallic corrosion in Nottinghamshire Police’s original press release.

From the photos on the police press release, it is obvious that the bell is made of brass or bronze, not a ferrous metal such as iron or steel, which typically rusts as it corrodes.

Wikipedia’s page on the ship’s bell gives full details of the typical materials used.

The bell itself is usually made of brass or bronze, and normally has the ship’s name engraved or cast on it.

May I suggest that the BBC’s author writes out 100 times “Iron and steel rust. Other metals corrode!“
Grammer, AI style

12/06/2025 Steve WoodsLanguage, Oddities, Tech

From your ‘umble scribe’s social media timeline.

We all occasionally need help with English grammar, even we pensioners who have spent decades working at linguists, but the above ‘suggestion‘ from Grammarly could be diplomatically described as unhelpful.

According to Wikipedia, “Grammarly is an American English language writing assistant software tool. It reviews the spelling, grammar, and tone of a piece of writing“, as well as being a tool for detecting plagiarism.

On its own website, Grammarly is described as ‘Grammarly, the trusted AI assistant for everyday communication‘.

On the basis of the above howler, your correspondent would not trust it to write out the alphabet in the correct sequence.
The Felon’s body double visits France

08/06/2025 Steve WoodsOddities, Politics, Social Media

From my social media timeline today.

While the disgraced former 45th president and current disgraceful 47th president of the United States of America, insurrectionist, convicted felon, adjudicated sexual predator, business fraudster, congenital liar and golf cheat commonly known as Donald John Trump has been busy getting the United States military to invade Los Angeles, California, as part of his mission to “Make America Grate Again” (or something like that. Ed.), his body double has been spotted paying a visit to the French capital, Paris.

Quel horreur !

It is not known whether the French state has had any official contact with the Dustbin Donny/Président Poubelle or if this visit is a purely private affair.
Golden Arches anthropophagism?

04/06/2025 Steve WoodsLanguage, Oddities, Social Media

The photograph below popped up in your ‘umble scribe’s social media feed this morning.

Judging by the use of the term restroom, the sign was apparently affixed to the door to the toilets of a fast food outlet somewhere in the USA, allegedly in a branch of junk food giant McDonalds, according to the original social media post.

Note the three exclamation marks at the end of the phrase. One is usually sufficient.

It is not known how long the chain itself – or indeed the United States as a nation – has permitted cannibalism either within or outwith toilet facilities, let alone endorsed the practice.

One pertinent question springs to mind: “Do you want fries with that?

Bon appétit !

Just ignore the smell and the sound of running water…
For UK, see England

02/06/2025 Steve WoodsBristol, Language, Media, Oddities

Ever since Æthelstan became King of the English in 927 CE, some in England – starting with Æthelstan himself – have had difficulty recognising where England ended and the rest of the world began. Indeed Æthelstan meddled so much in the land of the Scots that they allegedly nicknamed him “The Bastard“.

Given the dominance of England within the Untied Kingdom, this has persisted down through the centuries that separate the present from the days of Ælfred of Wessex‘s grandson.

The latest manifestation of this Englandshire = the entire UK occurs in yesterday’s online edition of Bristol ‘Live’, the city’s unfortunate newspaper of warped record, which managed to defy both demographics and geography in one awful little puff piece masquerading as “news“.
A screenshot of the headline of the offending article is offered below.

Although Wells is described in the piece as “England’s smallest city“, there is no empirical evidence provided of its lack of size. Your ‘umble scribe used a little-known research technique called using a search engine to provide an answer; in this case 5 seconds’ work gave a census population figure of 12,000 for Wells.

However, Wells is not the Untied Kingdom’s smallest cathedral city. Cymru has two cathedral cities that together have a combined population of well under Wells’ 12,000 souls. First of all there’s Llanelwy/St Asaph (pop. 3,485) and Tyddewi/St Davids (pop. 1,751), which is actually the UK’s smallest cathedral city in terms of number of residents.

Your correspondent is surprised that today’s ‘journalists’ are not familiar with this research technique he often uses, which is recommended they use as a matter of course. 😀
God? No!

20/04/2025 Steve WoodsOddities, Politics, Social Media

My social media feed on the federated Mastodon network is a source of news, conversation, merriment and occasional consternation. In particular, consternation nowadays concerns mostly information emanating from the authoritarian regime of the disgraced former 45th president and current disgraceful 47th president of the United States of America, insurrectionist, convicted felon, adjudicated sexual predator, business fraudster, congenital liar and golf cheat commonly known as Donald John Trump, who is on a mission to Make America Grate Again (or something like that. Ed.).

The latest barminess to cross over from the eastern shores of the Atlantic and land in my timeline is shown below.

On seeing the image, your ‘umble scribe’s immediate reaction was along the lines of Brian’s mum in Monty Python’s Life of Brian.

I was then reminded how the god of the Semitic religions has allegedly never liked to share the limelight with any other deities and/or beings, as exemplified in the words of Exodus 20:7.

Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain; for the Lord will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.

There are going to be some awkward questions asked of the MAGA louts above when they turn up at the pearly gates… 😉

Tip of the hat: SufferForMe.
Katy Perry’s space tourism – the backlash

19/04/2025 Steve WoodsOddities, Politics, Tech

Last week six women – singer Katy Perry, civil rights activist Amanda Nguyen, US TV personality Gayle King, aerospace engineer Aisha Bowe, film producer Kerianne Flynn and Jeff Bezos’ fiancée Lauren Sánchez – boarded Blue Origin’s New Shepard rocket for a frivolous 11 minute flight. The crew were weightless for just four minutes after passing the Kármán line, a 100 km-high boundary that is internationally recognised as the boundary of space.

The stunt has attracted plenty of criticism, not least because Blue Origin is owned by Amazon boss Jeff Bezos, a man not renowned for paying much income tax.

Part of the backlash consisted of the bus shelter poster below which was seen this week somewhere near Amazon’s UK headquarters in London.

The criticism wasn’t just confined to Perry and Bezos, but his low tax, anti-union sweatshop Amazon too.

No further comment is necessary.
JD’s worldwide charm offensive continues

08/04/2025 Steve WoodsLanguage, Oddities, Politics

Back in 1936 an American writer and teacher of courses in self-improvement, salesmanship, corporate training, public speaking and interpersonal skills called Dale Carnegie wrote a self-help book entitled How to Win Friends and Influence People. According to Wikipedia, over 30 million copies of the book have been sold.

Nevertheless, judging by both their actions and statements – both private and public – it can be safely assumed that none of the senior members of the Trump regime have bought copies, assuming of course they are intelligent enough to read.

Their playbook seems to be the complete opposite of Carnegie’s goal, i.e. How to Lose Friends and Irritate People.

Kindly step forward with no style at all one James David Vance (born James Donald Bowman. Ed.), inexplicably made vice-president of the United States by the disgraced former 45th president and current disgraceful 47th president of the United States of America, insurrectionist, convicted felon, adjudicated sexual predator, business fraudster, congenital liar and golf cheat commonly known as Donald John Trump.

As revealed in so-called Signalgate (posts passim), James David, ably assisted by Pete Hegseth, The Felon’s totally unqualified pick for Defence Secretary, who though it perfectly fine to insult European NATO allies. https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/no10-slams-trump-cabinet-attack-on-freeloading-europe_uk_67e26eabe4b06e4e058d2f42, the relevant part of the Signal messaging thread reads as follows:

Vance said: “If you think we should do it let’s go. I just hate bailing Europe out again.”

Hegseth then replied three minutes later, saying: “I fully share your loathing of European free-loading. It’s PATHETIC.”

For those that don’t know their history, the only time NATO’s Article 5 has been invoked was by the United States after the September 11th attacks. Several of those free-loading European nations contributed to the subsequent US invasion and occupation of Afghanistan, putting their troops in harm’s way for Uncle Sam.

Now James Donald is at it again. This time he’s insulting the Chinese, referring to them as peasants. His words are reported to have been the following:

We borrow money from Chinese peasants to buy the things those Chinese peasants manufacture. That is not a recipe for economic prosperity. It’s not a recipe for low prices and it’s not a recipe for good jobs in the United States of America.

In response Chinese foreign ministry spokesman Lin Jian said:

“It is surprising and sad to hear such ignorant and impolite words from this vice president.

I’d agree with Mr Lin that it is sad, but not surprising given James Donald’s past remarks in respect of European allies, not to mention his appalling attitude to Greenland and the obsession of his boss therewith.

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