Language

  • Southwark Crown Court shambles

    Steve WoodsLanguage, Politics

    image of Southwark Crown CourtThe report below – written by Heather Howe and reposted from Linguist Lounge – shows that the Crapita/MoJ court interpreting disaster is still rumbling on (posts passim).

    Chaos such as this is being repeated in magistrates and Crown Courts in England and Wales every day. Nevertheless, this shambles – as Heather Howe so aptly describes it – and criminal waste of public funds is not getting the attention it really deserves in the mainstream media.

    SOUTHWARK CROWN COURT – 23rd May 2014 serious matter listed not before 11am. No interpreter until 10.50 could be found therefore no assistance with conference with client and counsel. Into Court and started lengthy sentence hearing interupted [sic] by Jury returning in another matter and delayed until 12.30 ish. Returned to court and interpreter announces that he has to leave by 1pm. Case started but unable to finish and further interpreter sought. 2.15pm advised that only intepreter available was unqualified and without court experience. Further delays until about 3.30 when Court sat and considered adjourning case. All parties huge inconvenience and court empty for most of afternoon. An interpreter never arrived and we proceeded to sentence in the absence of interpreter and agreement of client. Lengthy conference will be required in prison with registered intepreter and full notes to explain sentence. Additional costs for all concerned. The last hearing at Southwark CC we have already complained that no interpreter arrived. That was simply a mention hearing and we managed after some delay and costs of empty courtroom. I am writing to the MP and the Court about this and lodging a formal complaint.

    There was a case I did in Northampton last year with 4 Columbian clients and multiple charges. Two interpreters arrived and refused to attend the cells for conference. Again one had to leave at lunchtime, delayed again and hours spent for counsel and prison staff while clients were seen. SHAMBLES.

  • Bloody Foreigner!

    Steve WoodsLanguage, Media, Politics

    There has been much scrutiny in the media about UKIP’s xenophobia in the run-up to tomorrow’s European Parliament election.

    Indeed, party leader Nigel Farage got into a little difficulty in a radio interview on LBC last week, giving rise to accusations of racism, something he later explained away as being due to tiredness.

    The picture below (for which Ade Cooper gets a tip of the hat. Ed.) should bring a smile to the face of anyone similarly stricken to me in years who doesn’t share young Nigel’s Little Englander view of the world.

    text on image reads Bloody Foreigner coming over here wanting to know what love is

    To prevent any further incursion of foreigners and/or Foreigner, perhaps the UK should deploy a squadron of Farage balloons around the coast. Similar to the barrage balloons used in the 20th century’s 2 world wars, these isolationist windbags could soon blow any threat of invasion to the shores of Blighty back to whence it came. 🙂

  • Ah! Bristo

    Steve WoodsBristol, Language, Media

    One of the features of the variety of English spoken in Bristol is the terminal ‘L’ – a final, intrusive ‘L’ on words ending in a vowel sound. As a consequence, Bristolians live in areals of the city and some of them do their shopping in Asdal.

    This terminal L found its earliest expression in the city’s name itself, which has mutated from Brigstowe in Saxon times.

    However, the terminal L is now under threat from poor writing and editing at the Bristol Post (or should that be Bristo Post? Ed.), as revealed in this blatant advertisement masquerading as news, complete with obligatory screenshot.

    Bristol Post screenshot

    More of this poorly written junk can be expected in future as the Bristol Post – along with the rest of the Local World group to which it belongs – will be making increasing use of user-provided content, presumably to save on employing trained journalists.

  • Another variant on the HMRC fake email

    Steve WoodsLanguage, Oddities, Tech

    This morning I discovered the fake HMRC email below in one of my inboxes.

    I’m disappointed to note that the senders of this one are only offering me a refund of £830.99; the previous bunch of scammers were offering £1,400.

    TAX RETURN FOR THE YEAR 2014
    RECALCULATION OF YOUR TAX REFUND
    HMRC 2010-2011
    LOCAL OFFICE No. 3819
    TAX CREDIT OFFICER: Jarrett Horn
    TAX REFUND ID NUMBER: 9896077
    REFUND AMOUNT: 830.99 GBP

    Dear Applicant,

    The contents of this email and any attachments are confidential and as applicable, copyright in these is reserved to HM Revenue & Customs.

    Unless expressly authorised by us, any further dissemination or distribution of this email or its attachments is prohibited.

    If you are not the intended recipient of this email, please reply to inform us that you have received this email in error and then delete it without retaining any copy.

    I am sending this email to announce: After the last annual calculation of your fiscal activity we have determined that you are eligible to receive a tax refund of 830.99 GBP

    You have attached the tax return form with the TAX REFUND NUMBER ID: 9896077, complete the tax return form attached to this message.

    After completing the form, please submit the form by clicking the SUBMIT button on form and allow us 5-9 business days in order to process it.

    Our head office address can be found on our web site at HM Revenue & Customs: http://www.hmrc.gov.uk

    Sincerely,

    Jarrett Horn
    HMRC Tax Credit Office
    Preston<br /.
    TAX REFUND ID: UK9896077-HMRC

    This email was delivered from a Korea Telecom server and came with an attachment -Refund-Form-ID_9896077.zip (the number in the zip file varies).

    Some of the language used – e.g. ‘fiscal activity‘ – is also a clue to its bogus nature. HMRC is supposed to use simpler English than that. Furthermore, note that the title seems to suggest the tax return concerned is for 2014, but the refund relates to 2011-2012. Not even HMRC is that slow in refunding money.

    If you’re on a Windows machine, opening that zip file is fraught with danger as the archive contains a Trojan which, when run, attempts to drop cryptolocker, ransomware and loads of other malware on your computer.

    As stated in an earlier post, HMRC never sends notifications of a tax rebate by email or asks taxpayers to disclose personal or payment information by email.

    As before, if you receive one of these emails, you are advised to forward it to phishing@hmrc.gsi.gov.uk and then delete it.

    Once again, consult HMRC’s website for comprehensive advice on phishing and bogus emails.

  • The rustication of Clifton

    Steve WoodsBristol, Language, Media

    Earlier today, the news section of the Bristol Post transported the city’s affluent district of Clifton to the countryside, describing it as ‘rural’, as shown in the following screenshot.

    screenshot of Post website showing dodgy wording

    According to the Oxford English Dictionary rural has many meanings; the one implied by the Post’s usage is the OED’s definition 1c:

    Employed or stationed in country districts.

    Are the people of Clifton yokels?

    Bristol absorbed Clifton in the 19th century, so any green wellies seen will be very clean and not covered in cow’s muck; they’ll be worn for fashion not for necessity. Although Clifton’s renowned Downs are still common land, the locals don’t seem to graze much livestock upon them. Nevertheless, some activities which may be regarded as animal take place up there.

    The word rural has since been removed from the headline.

    I always believed press articles supposed to be sub-edited before being posted. Apparently this does not seem to be the usual practice down at the Temple Way Ministry of Truth.

  • Liberal Democrats cannot spell Sussex

    Steve WoodsLanguage, Politics

    image of Norman Baker MP
    Illiterate – Norman Baker MP
    It seems hardly a week goes by without the Liberal Democrats having difficulties with their literature (posts passim).

    Brighton’s regional newspaper, The Argus, reported yesterday that Lewes MP Norman Baker has been spelling the name of the county wrong on the front page of a booklet sent out to his constituents.

    Apparently, Sussex was misspelt as Susex on the front of copies of the Let’s Talk booklet delivered to homes across his constituency.

    image of Catherine Bearder MEP
    Illiterate – Catherine Bearder MEP
    According to the report in The Argus, the leaflet states that Norman Baker and Lib Dem MEP Catherine Bearder are…. “Delivering for East Susex“.

    There was then an attempted cover-up with stickers being used to mask the error, but – as so often happens – some leaflets escaped this procedure and were delivered.

    Let’s Talk is another one of those template Liberal Democrat leaflets where local supporters supply the relevant text and locality name (posts passim).

    Here’s a little bit of advice for the Liberal Democrats: you’re probably using a word processor to produce copy for your leaflets. The word processor has a very useful little feature called a spellchecker. 🙂

  • Chinese hotel etiquette

    Steve WoodsLanguage, Oddities

    The image below recently cropped up in my Twitter timeline. Research seems to indicate the original document emanates from the Star Hotel in Guangzhou.

    Not being familiar with Chinese, I asked my good friend Ling Wong whether the English was an accurate translation of the Chinese; he has confirmed this. He also added that strange notices are a common feature of Chinese hotels.

    No further comment is required.

    image of hotel notice to guests

  • UKIP poster corrected

    Steve WoodsLanguage, Politics

    Somewhere out there in the UK, someone is taking a spray can to UKIP’s xenophobic European Parliament election campaign posters.

    UKIP poster amended to read No to Mass Hysteria

    Hat tip: Maria Aretoulaki

    Incidentally, if you get a UKIP election leaflet and you don’t wish to pollute your paper recycling with it, you can return it free of charge to them at the following address:

    UKIP FREEPOST
    RLSU-HZBG-UBBG
    Lexdrum House
    Heathfield
    Devon
    TQ12 6UT

  • How old is the Staffordshire oatcake?

    Steve WoodsLanguage, Oddities

    I’m currently reading Portrait of the Potteries by Bill Morland, published by Robert Hale Ltd. in 1978.

    Being a local delicacy, oatcakes (posts passim) get an honourable mention. Indeed on page 25 Mr Morland does more than praise them, he speculates as to their origin (although he hyphenates oat-cakes. Ed.):

    It is nothing like the Scottish oat-cake, but is rather like a brown and nobbly pancake made from draught-porridge. Incredibly economical to product, oat-cakes are very nourishing and sustaining. They are a symbol of the isolation and conservatism of the valley, since they appear to be an iron-age survival.

    Staffordshire oatcake before filling
    Oatcake awaiting filling

    However, Mr Morland provides no evidence of the Iron Age origins of the Staffordshire oatcake, although one would have thought that, as an archaeology teacher for Keele University’s Adult Education Department at the time of publication, he would have realised the importance of empirical evidence.

    If anyone can shed light on the (pre)history of the Staffordshire oatcake, please feel free to comment below.

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