Today’s online edition of the Bristol Post features a great headline to this story, as per the screenshot below.
There is however one thing wrong with the headline: it isn’t true since male tortoises – being reptiles – don’t have a penis, but a cloaca (which is the Latin word for sewer. Ed.) – an opening that serves as the only opening for the intestinal, reproductive and urinary tracts of certain species.
To be fair the fact that male tortoises have cloacas is indeed mentioned by the Post’s unnamed author in paragraph 2:
The four year-old spur-thighed tortoise is suffering from a prolapse of the cloaca which requires immediate treatment.
“Never let the truth get in the way of a good headline” seems to be a maxim of the British press at both local and national levels.
Finally, this blog wishes Cedric and his owner every success in remedying Cedric’s problem. 🙂
The BBC – and Radio 4 in particular – is often criticised for being the voice of middle England speaking to itself.
However, it seems that Auntie is now making great strides to improve the diversity of its staff, as shown by the Tweet below, which was posted during last night’s broadcast of Any Questions.
Q3: Would a Yes vote in the forthcoming Scottish Referendum be the only way in which England could get it's own parliament? #bbcaq
Yes, Radio 4 is now employing greengrocers (shouldn’t that be greengrocer’s? Ed. 🙂 ), or at least people who know how to use superfluous (or greengrocers’) apostrophes.
After one’s had a collision, road traffic incident or ‘accident’, as discussed in the previous post, one virtually inevitable subsequent step is the submission of an insurance claim.
These too have their own vocabulary and are couched in terms intended to deflect blame away from the claimant.
This phenomenon was noted many years ago by comedian Jasper Carrot, as in the video below.
Man taken to hospital after his car collided with road sign in Avonmouth
The first sentence outlines how the incident occurred:
A man in his 40s had to be removed on a spinal board after his car collided with a road sign in Avonmouth.
Note how the car’s occupant – presumably its driver – plays a passive role; the car apparently collided with a road sign of its own volition without any human intervention. One would almost think that cars and other motor vehicles are so capricious and flighty that conscious action by human beings is imperative to stop the public highway becoming a large linear scrapyard in next to no time and remaining such permanently.
Perhaps a more accurate headline would have been Man taken to hospital after driving into road sign.
Similar examples of this use of English can be found in any local paper in the country.
However, such language is not confined to the print media. An similar example from inside the BBC in Bristol was posted on Twitter this morning (screenshot below).
Note the absence of any human involvement in the incident: a horse was killed by a fast car. Was it an unoccupied, autonomous vehicle? A more accurate rendition would be that a horse was killed by a fast driver.
Then there’s the way large swathes of the media report collisions using the noun accident to describe them. In the vast majority of cases, there’s nothing accidental about them. According to RoSPA, 95% of all road ‘accidents’ involve some human error, whilst a human is solely to blame in 76% of road ‘accidents’.
an unforeseen event or one without an apparent cause
anything that occurs unintentionally or by chance; chance; fortune
a misfortune or mishap, esp one causing injury or death
It would seem that the third definition is the one relied upon by the media. Interestingly, the British police stopped using the term Road Traffic Accident (RTA) some years ago; the police now refer to a Road Traffic Incident (RTI) instead.
Perhaps the media should follow the example of the police if they wish to retain their alleged reputation for truth and accuracy.
WordPress’ pingback function can be abused to mount a denial of service (DoS) attack on blogs without their owners noticing, Germany’s Heise IT website reports. It is unlikely that the problem will be remedied with an update.
Security company Sucuri reports on an attack on one WordPress installation in which more than 162,000 other WordPress sites were misused as a DDoS platform. In this instance the attacker used the software’s pingback function in order to cripple the target website. With a pingback, one WordPress site can notify another that it has quoted its blog post.
The attack works in such a manner that an attacker searches for a legitimate blog which has pingback activated (currently the default configuration for new WordPress installations) and then simulate a pingback from the victim’s site. The victim’s blog then queries the victim for the post which was quoted in the faked pingback. If the attacker does this with many sites, the flood of traffic is difficult for the target site to black as the queries look completely legitimate and originate from trustworthy sources.
In the attack observed by Sucuri randomly generated URLs were quoted in the fake pingbacks for the victim’s ostensible posts. This results in WordPress’ caching mechanism does not take effect and the web server is so overloaded since the database must attempt to deliver the supposed posts for each request. Of course, in reality the server just serves up 404 error pages, since there are no pages for the random URLs. Nevertheless, if there are many such requests, this is sufficient to cripple the WordPress installation’s database. On Unix and Linux systems such an attack can be launched very simply by using the curl command on the command line.
As the attack is misusing the ordinary working of the pingback function, it cannot be assumed that WordPress developers are going to do something about the problem. Site owners can prevent their blog being miused in this way by deactivating their installation’s pingback functions. Sucuri itself is proposing source code for a WordPress plug-in which should block the attacks, as follows:
On 1st April – April Fool’s Day – Bristol City Council’s Easton & St Philips Residents’ Parking Scheme comes into operation. (Some would consider the choice of date most apposite. Ed.)
Does Easton have one resident? Do you proof-read your signs, Bristol City Council?This is just one of many Residents’ parking schemes being introduced by the council at the instigation of the autocratic elected Mayor, George Ferguson, the man in red trousers (posts passim).
Needless to say, the schemes haven’t exactly received universal support from the residents of a city with a high level of car ownership and an abysmal level of public transport provision. Overall, it’s been condemned by residents as a ‘parking tax’ as residents will have to acquire permits, both for their own vehicles, as well as for visitors arriving by motor vehicle.
There has been consultation, of course. However, as is usual with Bristol City Council, consultation is a portmanteau word, a crafty elision of ‘confidence trick’ and ‘insult’. With a city council consultation, the stress is always firmly on the first syllable. When something goes out to consultation, what the council wants to do is usually a fait accompli.
There have been howls of protest about the Residents’ Parking Schemes in the local press, particularly the car-loving Bristol Post, which has even enlisted the odd high-profile petrolhead to trash the Mayor’s plans.
A new parking meter on Stapleton RoadAs this post is being written, the streets of Easton are being prepared for the arrival of the new parking regime. New double yellow lines and parking bays marked on the streets. In addition, there’ll be parking charges for visitors and parking meters have started to make their appearance both on main thoroughfares like Stapleton Road and the backstreets.
Bristol’s residents’ parking schemes programme is very flawed.
One of the justifications for implementing them is to dissuade the thousands of daily commuters from outside the local authority area clogging up residential roads by parking there all day. As the scheme doesn’t cover the whole city, the thousands of commuting motorists will just park a bit further out in districts not covered by residents’ parking schemes, such as the area where your ‘umble scribe happens to live.
Where I live, it’s the residents that are guilty of problem parking; the streets are Victorian, narrow and were intended for use by horse and cart, not 21st century motor vehicles. Pavement parking is rife in the backstreets, making pavements impassable to wheelchair users and parents with children in prams and pushchairs. There’s minimal enforcement to combat such anti-social parking. Indeed, the police often contribute to the problem themselves (posts passim).
If Mayor Ferguson really wanted to stop Bristol being choked by out of town commuting motorists, his counterpart in London came up with an alternative that was introduced 11 years ago. It’s called the London Congestion Charge Zone.
Bristol Radical Film Festival is on this week with a wide choice of events from today, 3rd March until 8th March. The films will be screened in a wide range of venues, which include and have in the past included digital outreach projects, social centres, political squats, radical bookshops, community bicycle hubs, trade union buildings, etc.
The Festival first took place in 2011 and showcases contemporary and historical works of overtly political documentary and fiction film-making. Organised by staff, students and alumni from the Centre for Moving Image Research and the Film team at the University of the West of England (UWE), the Festival also aims to draw attention to a range of other progressive, community-based initiatives in the city.
Two of this year’s offerings in particular take my fancy.
Firstly, there’s a screening of McLibel, the David and Goliath story of two people who fought back against one of the most powerful corporations on the planet. Ronald McDonald may have won their libel case against Helen Morris and Dave Steel, but it was very much a Pyrrhic victory. McLibel is being shown at Knowle West Media Centre, Leinster Avenue, Knowle West, Bristol BS4 1NL (map) on Thursday, 6th March at 7 pm. Entry is free.
The second offering to take my fancy is Uomini contro (English title: Many Wars Ago), produced in 1970. The film is set in Italy in 1917. Society is violently split down the middle over the question of whether to continue intervention in the war. Anarchists and socialists are intent on causing so much trouble that continued intervention is impossible. Railway lines are ripped up, battle lines are drawn. On the Isonzo front a General smells socialism behind the troops reaction to his orders and a disastrous Italian attack upon the Austrian positions leads to a mutiny among the decimated troops. The screening is being hosted by Bristol Radical History Group as part of its World War 1 series of events. The film will be screened at 5.00 pm on Saturday 8th March and the venue will be 2nd Floor, The Arc, 27 Broad Street, BS1 2HG (map) and there’ll be a £4 admission charge.
Noah’s Ark ‘Zoo’ Farm has just taken delivery of a new African elephant and former Tory MP Ann Widdecombe was allegedly there to welcome its arrival, according to the photo caption in the report.
I’d like to congratulate Ann on her choice of camouflage outfit!
If you can see Ann in the picture, please let me know via the comments below.
Proofreading is a skill requiring meticulous attention to detail. However, something clearly went wrong in respect of this camera advertisement, as the product description sounds really crappy. 😉
WordPress’ pingback function can be abused to mount a denial of service (DoS) attack on blogs without their owners noticing, Germany’s 
