Bristol

  • Mermaids, volcanism and… Google Translate!

    Google Translate, the Mountain View behemoth’s translation service is noted for not being very good on technical terminology, even of the most basic kind. Furthermore, it also struggles with a little thin called context, i.e. the circumstances that form the setting for an event, statement, or idea and in terms of which it can be fully understood.

    When Google Translate gets the context wrong and confuses protecting the public with ancient Greek mythological figures, the result is at the very least amusing and at must alarming and downright dangerous, as revealed by the following social media post by Prof. Jenni Barclay of the University of Bristol.

    Post reads In this case of volcanic eruption, you will hear mermaids. Do not ignore the mermaids; they are there for your safety. Perils of Google Translate No. 44a. People seeking greater warning of volcanic eruption want sirens _not_ mermaids. (Spanish: Sirenas).

    Prof. Barclay’s research is the reduction of risk and prevention of disaster in volcanic settings, with a particular focus both on volcanic processes and the social processes that amplify volcanic risk.

    My question for Prof. Barclay is are mermaids a social process? 😉

    Mis-translations definitely are!

  • March litter pick

    Yesterday saw the regular monthly community litter pick in Bristol’s Barton Hill, which takes place on the first Saturday of each month.

    Alex gets stuck in. Image courtesy of Eric GreenOn a sunny but initially cool morning four of us turned up and spent an hour and a quarter clearing up Ducie Road and its council-owned car park, a regular dumping ground for fly-tippers, as well as a convenient repository for spent catering size nitrous oxide canisters.

    The team dismantled one fly tip and bagged it up for collection by Bristol Waste along with our ‘swag‘, which will be collected – hopefully speedily – by Bristol Waste.

    Steve, Alex and Ronit with the fruits of our litter pick
    Alex, Steve and Ronit with the fruits of our litter pick.
    Image courtesy of Eric Green

    Afterwards we retired to the Wellspring Settlement for light refreshments.

    Thanks to my fellow pickers for tidying BS5.

    See you next month on the 5th!

  • Farewell, Onj (1958-2025)

    Earlier this week, you ‘umble scribe received a text message after 10pm in the evening – never a good sign.

    And so it proved: my old friend André Sparkfield, affectionately known as Onj, had passed away on Monday.

    I first met Onj at a mutual friend’s house party some 30 years ago and was instantly attracted by his generosity and warmth.

    That was before I really knew of his artistic and creative side, which was truly impressive.

    Onj was a stalwart of the party and festivals scenes in the south west, providing decor for the likes of Bearded Fiend, Marcel Mouton, Mutant Dance and Tribe of Frog.

    Onj and myself worked together every year for 15 years on Trinity‘s free annual fireworks party. I lit the bonfire, Onj lit the fireworks, usually by hand (a spectacularly dangerous looking activity, says someone standing next to and tending several cubic metres of flaming wood. Ed.) until he got sophisticated in the latter years and used electronic firing so he could appreciate his handiwork. 😀

    Label on firework reads Fork Handles
    Onj with a humorously-named display firework

    Of those times, Emma has written as follows:

    Onj lit up the night sky at countless gatherings and events; not least through his many incredible free fireworks displays over the years at Trinity. These spectacular shows captured the spirit of creativity, joy and community. Displays that stopped traffic, attracted thousands and served as a cornerstone of what makes a city like Bristol sparkle.

    I can’t better Emma’s words.

    Thank you for being my friend, Onj

    Rest in peace, dear.

    Update 13/03/2025: the celebration of Onj’s life was attended by over 300 people despite the coldness of the day. A great send-off for a great man.

  • Councillor-sized bins in BS5

    Yesterday your ‘umble scribe was invited to take part in a site visit to Stapleton Road for councillors on the city council’s Environment & Sustainability Committee. Also in attendance were senior council officers, including the head of the Neighbourhood Enforcement Team, representatives of Bristol Waste Company (BWC) and Easton ward councillor Jenny Bartle. Unfortunately, only two of the members of the committee showed up, although one of those was its chair. 🙁

    House clearance fly-tip outside former Concorde Cinema on Stapleton RoadWe took the best part of an hour to wander up and down a half kilometre section of Stapleton Road, during which some all-too familiar and depressing sights were seen, such as house clearances (right) and piles of trade waste outside closed down shops.

    Both your ‘umble scribe and officers present pointed out that the area was afflicted by many interrelated problems, e.g. pavement parking by selfish motorists combined with fly-tipping makes using the footways impossible in places, particularly for those such as parent with prams and buggies, or the disabled.

    However, BWC’s community engagement team used the opportunity to plan future visits and actions to help residents present their waste and recycling properly. We were also informed how fly-tips were ranked by priority for removal, as well as the special bag collection arrangements along Stapleton Road.

    We also noted changes to the local street furniture, including the installation of councillor-sized bins to cope with the litter!

    Cllr. Jenny Bartle and a litter bin at the junction of Stapleton Road and Oxford Place, Bristol.

    The new bins have appeared at junctions close to where takeaway food shops are concentrated on this section of Stapleton Road and it appears to be part of wider efforts to replace/upgrade litter bin provision across Bristol’s Easton and Lawrence Hill wards.

  • When saying sorry is too hard

    The last week has seen the Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting (Chogm) held in Apia in Samoa. However, the meeting did not necessarily turn out in favour of the British state and its representatives, one Charles Philip Arthur George Mountbatten-Windsor, who some believe is its legitimate head of state, and ‘Sir’ Keir Rodney Starmer, head of government and leader of an allegedly Labour administration.

    The main point of contention was one of the many crimes against humanity committed by the English/British during their centuries-long invasion, colonisation and exploitation of vast areas of the world’s land surface – chattel slavery.

    The Caribbean members of the Commonwealth, under the umbrella of Caricom, have been demanding reparations for slavery for some time. Their reasoning is based on the fact that when slavery was abolished within the British Empire in 1833 (the slave trade as abolished in 1807. Ed.), the owners were compensated for their loss of ‘property‘ in the form of 700,000 enslaved persons This amounted to £20m and accounted for nearly one-quarter of the government’s budget in the year that it was paid. The emancipated slaves and their descendants were never compensated. Indeed to add further a insult to their suffering, the freed slaves were expected to work for free for the people who had already exploited them and were being handsomely rewarded for their inhumanity.

    Mr Windsor, whose ancestor Charles Stuart II granted the Royal African Company (RAC) a monopoly on all English trade with Africa, had particular difficulty in apologising for the harm his family and his state have done to Africa and the Caribbean. The RAC’s initial purpose was to trade in gold, but quickly moved on to trading in captured human beings, which became its main activity. The so-called royal family also invested in the slave trade: William of Orange (the King Billy so beloved of certain people in Ireland’s occupied six counties) bought shares in the RAC off one Edward Colston, whose statue in Bristol was toppled a few years ago and taken for a bath in the city docks. Despite his own family having blood on its hands from the slave trade, the best Charlie boy could manage was to call slavery the “most painful aspects of our past continue to resonate. according to the BBC.

    As for Starmer, he has ruled out any talk of reparation, but has indicated he is open to non-financial reparations, as The Guardian reports I don’t somehow think the Caribbean governments of Caricom will be persuaded by offers of mirrors, glass beads and other trinkets for supplying two centuries of free labour for Britain and its elite.

    Beside slavery being discussed slavery, the transatlantic slave trade and reparatory justice have all made their way into the meeting’s final communiqué (PDF) in its paragraphs 21 and 22.

    Finally, here’s a little song about saying sorry especially for Charles and Keir., which your ‘umble scribe hopes they will enjoy.

  • Know worries

    The verb to know and the associated noun knowledge are both concerned with the possession of information, awareness, familiarity, recognition and the like.

    Over the centuries this has resulted in some very specialised uses. One of these is the phrase carnal knowledge, described by Wikipedia as “an archaic or legal euphemism for sexual intercourse“. Thus the verb to know can take on sexual connotations. The most notable example of this usage is in the King James Bible in Luke 1. This is where Mary receives news from the angel Gabriel that she is to be mother of the son of God. When so enlightened, she replies as follows in verse 34, implying she is either unmarried, a virgin, or both:

    Then said Mary unto the angel, How shall this be, seeing I know not a man?

    Three members of the Metropolitan Police
    Hello, hello, hello!
    What are you writing about here then?
    Besides the field of human physical relationships, another field in which know has a particular meaning is law enforcement. The phrase in question in this context is “known to police“. Anyone who is known to police is not usually a person who drops into the station regularly for tea, biscuits and a chat. The phrase implies one has been arrested, charged and possibly convicted too, i.e. one has a criminal record.

    Or at least it did until this week.

    Yesterday’s Bristol Live/Post carried a report of an Avon & Somerset Police Question Time on 14th October featuring Chief Constable Sarah Crew and Clare Moody, the elected Police & Crime Commissioner.

    At one stage the discussion turned to human trafficking and modern slavery. The Chief Constable remarked that places of employment where trafficking was suspected included car washes, nail bars, care homes and agriculture.

    To this Ms Moody added:

    Victims of modern slavery and human trafficking are some of the most vulnerable people in our society.


    In order to be able to intervene in this criminality you have to be able to identify it’s happening. Your own threat assessment estimates that only ten per cent of the victims of this crime are known to Avon & Somerset Police.

    Is Ms Moody implying that 10 per cent of slavery and trafficking victims have a criminal record or have been previously arrested by Avon & Somerset’s finest? Or is she unaware of the special meaning of known to police?

    Your ‘umble scribe suspects the latter.

    Is known to police on the route to becoming another archaic or legal euphemism? Add your thoughts in the comments below.

  • Bristol Live exclusive: M4 diverted via Somerset

    The London to South Wales motorway, otherwise known as the M4, runs from Chiswick in the west of London to Pont Abraham Services near Pontarddulais in Sir Gaerfyrddin (that’s Carmarthenshire for monoglots. Ed.). It passes through or close to the major towns and cities of Slough, Reading, Swindon, Bristol, Casnewydd (Newport), Caerdydd (Cardiff) Pen-y-bont ar Ogwr (Bridgend), Port Talbot and Abertawe (Swansea).

    The route of the M4
    Route of the M4. Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.

    Or rather it did: until a traffic report on Sunday in Bristol Live which saw road repairs move it several tens of kilometres south from South Gloucestershire, the unitary authority in which Tormarton is situated to Somerset.

    Headline reads Motorway lane shut in Somerset after road repairs 'fail to set'

    Fact checking is important when reporting the news, except it seems when one works as a Reach plc ‘journalist‘: or the newsroom atlas has inexplicably gone missing; or is non-existent.

  • Curved handles

    Friday’s Bristol Live/Post had a piece on an appeal to the public for information on an incident that happened a while ago in Easton. The vital part of the appeal reads as follows:

    Investigating officers have released a picture of a man, who was riding a silver road bike with curved handles, who they would like to identify in connection with the assault. They said it took place on Stapleton Road on Wednesday, August 7.

    Curved handles? Since when has a bicycle had handles, let alone curved ones.

    At first, your correspondent believed this was just another of Reach plc ‘journalists’ publicly displaying his/her ignorance of the English language, bearing in mind the fact that the correct use of terminology – le mot juste as the French would have it – is vital for comprehension and a lack of confusion on the part of the reader.

    The police press office also provided a useful picture of the suspect, plus bicycle complete with those mysterious curved handles.

    Those infamous curved handles. Image courtesy of Avon & Somerset Police.

    Anyway, your ‘umble scribe went looking for Plod’s original press release on the Avon & Somerset Police website.

    .

    The following sentence can be read therein:

    The man pictured is described as white, slim, in his 20s or 30s and has dark hair and facial hair. He is seen wearing a black Adidas hooded top and tracksuit bottoms. He is in possession of a silver road bike with curved handles {sic].

    That’s right! Those curved handles actually originated at police headquarters out at Portishead and not in Bristol’s infamous Temple Way Ministry of Truth.

    This is curious as the police allegedly require high standards from their staff as a recent advertisement for a communications officer reveals.

    You will have strong oral and written communications skills, an exceptional eye for detail…

    The use of the phrase curved handles does show that the author has written communications skills but not strong ones, whilst the lack of an exceptional eye for detail is displayed by an ignorance of the importance of the correct use of terminology.

    Words matter, except in Plod’s press room, whilst the ‘journalist’ responsible for copying and pasting the original press release should have been diligent enough to notice the original error and not repeated it, but as a former sub-editor cum media studies lecturer friend pointed out, today’s media studies student (and by implication graduates. Ed.) do not have a very high standard of English.

    Finally, hose curved handles are known to most folk outside the police press office and Bristol Live/Post as drop handlebars. 😀

  • Council seizes fly-tipper’s van

    There was a rare item on the Bristol Live website today. Bristol City Council decided to publicise an element of its enforcement activities against fly-tippers and other environmental criminals.

    Normally a shy and retiring organisation where its enforcement activities are concerned, the council is very publicity-shy about the number of people it deals with for environmental crimes, preferring quietly to issue fixed penalty notices (FPNs) of up to £1,000 a time. However, the council has this time taken firmer than normal action against an alleged fly-tipper by seizing the alleged offender’s vehicle in the city’s Hartcliffe are and towing it away, as well as the more unusual step of publicising its operation.

    Image courtesy of Bristol City Council Neighbourhood Enforcement

    The council was acting under section 34b of the 1990 Environmental Protection Act – the right to search or seize vehicles if a fly-tipping offence has been committed, the vehicle was used in the commission of the offence and proceedings for that offence have not yet been brought, or if the vehicle is about to be used or is being used in a fly-tipping offence.

    Having repeatedly pleaded with the council to publicise its actions – if only for their deterrent effect – your ‘umble scribe is very pleased to see this welcome change and only has a further five words of advice to those in waste management and enforcement down the Counts Louse*: keep up the good work!

    * = The traditional spelling for and pronunciation of the local authority’s headquarters within the city.

  • Two cities, two cuisines, one politics

    All cultures, countries and regions around the world have their own local cuisines, some indigenous, some introduced by incomers and yet others a mixture of the two.

    Also termed food cultures, your correspondent notes that food is often inextricably linked to politics as well as identity, as has been apparent in two separate examples from the cities of Bristol and Chicago.

    In your ‘umble scribe’s sixty-something years of existence, food in the Untied Kingdom (mis-spelling deliberate. Ed.) has changed beyond all recognition with dishes and tastes from right around the world become increasingly available. I well remember the curiosity and excitement when the first Chinese takeaway opened in my home town of Market Drayton in North Shropshire all those decades ago.

    Since those long gone days, takeaway food has become a staple in the British diet; and with the advent of delivery services such as JustEat and Deliveroo, customers can now order takeaways without having to rise from their sofas.

    In this post, your correspondent notes that in two separate cites – Bristol and Chicago.

    Bristol

    First Bristol and a comment on the ephemeral nature of catering establishments despite everyone’s need for food and delivery services. The subvertising in the following photograph was spotted on the city’s Fishponds Road yesterday afternoon.

    Note how the subvertising has got the background colour of the original JustEat sign almost right, as well as matching the original font faithfully.

    Subvertised sign on disused takeaway now reading Just Eat The Rich

    As regards the phrase ‘Eat The Rich, your ‘umble scribe thought it was a modern phrase arising out of anarchist political thought in response to ever-increasing increasing wealth inequality and food insecurity. However, it actually goes back rather further.

    That rather further back takes us to the days of the Terror which followed the French revolution. On 17th October 1793, Pierre Gaspard Chaumette, President of the Paris Commune, gave a speech to the city in which he apocryphally remarked that the philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau said the following:

    Quand le peuple n’aura plus rien à manger, il mangera le riche.

    In English this translates to the following:

    When the people shall have nothing more to eat, they will eat the rich.
    Chicago

    Next to Chicago and more specifically The Wieners Circle, which describes itself as an ‘iconic hotdog stand on the north side of Chicago serving up high quality street food with a side of insults‘ [sic].

    The Chicago eatery has responded in feisty fashion to the unfounded assertion made by the disgraced former president, insurrectionist, convicted felon, adjudicated sexual predator, business fraudster, congenital liar and golf cheat, one Donald John Trump, that immigrants in Springfield, Ohio were eating residents’ pets during his recent televised debate with the Democrats presidential election candidate, Kamala Harris, as shown below.

    Illuminated sign for The Wieners Circle withe the addendum Immigrants eat our dogs

    Politics and food also have a long relationship. Back in 1798, Cartoonist James Gillray published ‘John Bull taking a Luncheon: – or – British Cooks, cramming Old Grumble-Gizzard, with Bonne-Chere‘ shortly after Nelson’s victory over the French at the Battle of the Nile. The strong link continues today as shown not only by these examples from Bristol and Chicago, but also by American Republicans renaming French fries ‘freedom fries‘ after French opposition to the 2003 Iraq war (cheese-eating surrender monkeys anyone? Ed.).

    Update 15/09/24: Trump has continued to make unsubstantiated claims about immigrants in Springfield to such an extent that his cult-like followers have targeted the Springfield’s city Hall and other buildings with bomb threats and a side serving of racial hatred.