English usage

  • Testicle legs?

    siblings together
    Siblings at Bury Ditches picnic area. Picture by Hilary Midgley.
    Each year one of my great delights is to go walking in Shropshire with my sister Hilary for a couple of days (posts passim). This year’s annual sibling saunter did indeed take place last week, but with one important change: our brother Andrew was able to join us for the first time on Thursday evening (after Hilary and I had done our inaugural afternoon walk) and take part in Friday’s walk.

    After meeting up in the late morning in Craven Arms and some light refreshment, Hilary and myself set out on a 6 miles circular walk to Flounders’ Folly on Callow Hill and back, following an excellent route provided by the AA. The folly was built in 1838 by Benjamin Flounders – a prominent English Quaker and local businessman originally from Yorkshire – and fell into disrepair in the 20th century, but was restored in 2004-5 by the Flounders’ Folly Trust with aid from the National Lottery. It’s now open to the public one day per month so people can climb to the viewing platform at the top of the 78 stairs and enjoy wonderful views of the Malverns, the Black Mountains, Cader Idris and much more. The route up to the folly consisted of a steep climb through active forestry workings, but the view from the top was well worthwhile.

    image of my sister at Flounders' Folly
    Flounders’ Folly

    The route back from the folly was through pasture along the Quinny Brook and the River Onny. Our return to Craven Arms was perfectly timed; we’d just arrived back when the rain started. πŸ™‚

    As with last year, we stayed at Clun Youth Hostel, a converted water mill with most of the mill machinery still intact. The remains of the millpond can still be seen just up the road by the Memorial Hall and there are rumours that it is to be restored. The volunteer wardens at the hostel were most helpful and hospitable, whilst fellow hostellers didn’t snore too much!

    The following morning after breakfast we set out from the hostel to visit the motte and bailey at Lower Down and the Iron Age hill fort at Bury Ditches on a circular route measuring somewhat over 8 miles. The route out to Lower Down meandered through farmland, including a couple of sunken lanes reputed to have been used by monks, and woodland. Towards Lower Down, some splendid views were had of the Stiperstones and Corndon Hill, high point of one of last year’s walks.

    Lower Down’s motte and bailey can be viewed by going through the kissing gate next to the telephone box and pillar box. The field in which they are sited is also reputed to contain medieval settlement remains.

    plan of Bury Ditches hill fort
    Plan of Bury Ditches hill fort on the toposphere
    After Lower Down there followed a long climb (during which the rain commenced. Ed.) up to the Bury Ditches picnic area where lunch was taken, followed by the long, gradual ascent up to the hill fort itself. The entry into the hill fort is from the north east through 3 sets of concentric earth bank defences. When the fort was originally constructed about 2,500 years ago, these earth banks would have been surmounted by wooden palisades. In the steady drizzle, we wandered up to the toposphere in the centre of the fort to admire the views and get our bearings as we had to leave hill fort via its south west entrance/exit. As we approached the exit, the rain eased off and out came the cameras to record our visit.

    image of Andrew admiring the 3 defensive banks at the SW entrance to Bury Ditches
    Andrew admires the defensive banks at Bury Ditches

    Descending from Bury Ditches, we then dropped down through woodland a giant sequoia to skirt Steppleknoll to return across the fields (where red kites were seen) to Clun and a welcome couple of pints in The Sun Inn. We can recommend the restorative properties of the Three Tuns Brewery’s beer, as we all sampled the Porter and found it excellent, whilst your correspondent also savoured the very hoppy IPA.

    Both days’ walks included a ford too, although neither was particularly deep, as shown by the one through the Quinny Brook on the Callow Hill walk.

    image of author standing in Quinny Brook ford
    The author testing the depth of the ford. Picture courtesy of Hilary Midgley.

    Planning has already started for next year for a visit to another hill fort near Craven Arms and returning via Stokesay Castle, as well as an exploration of Offa’s Dyke south of Newcastle on Clun.

    By now, you are probably asking what all this has to do with the testicle legs in the title. Well, the title of this post originates from a snatch of conversation when we were negotiating some rough, muddy ground. I remarked that one needed ‘festival legs‘ to cope. When I repeated my remark since it hadn’t been heard clearly, back came the reply: “I thought you said testicle legs!”

    Happy days! πŸ™‚

  • Bristol invents the bup

    Bristol likes to regard itself as a place of innovation.

    Bearing this inventive spirit in mind, contractors working in Old Market Street for Bristol City Council have invented a new public conveyance vehicle – the bup.

    image of bus stop featuring words Bup Stop

    A spokesperson for Bristol City Council said: “We take the misspelling of road marking very seriously and will soon be appointing an expensive CONsultant to advise us of the best possible solution.” (That quotation was made up, wasn’t it? Ed.)

    Hat tip: Bristol Post.

    Update 27/08/14: the orthographical gaffe was corrected yesterday, according to the Bristol Post.

  • A confusing spell in Red(e)cliff(e)

    One of the oldest districts of Bristol is Redcliffe (or Redcliff. Ed.).

    According to its Wikipedia entry, Redcliffe – the more common spelling – was once part of the manor of Bedminster before its absorption into the city of Bristol in the 13th century.

    However, the spelling of Redcliff(e) has long caused controversy.

    Richard Ricart, a town clerk of Bristol, in his The Maire of Bristowe is Kalendar, written between 1480 and 1508 and recording the history of Bristol since the 12th century, refers throughout to Redcliff, although there is also an occasional unusual reference to Redecliff. Both appear in this extract documenting the digging of St. Augustine’s Trench (later renamed St. Augustine’s Reach. Ed.) in 1240:

    This yere was the Trenche y-made and y-caste of the ryvere, fro the Gybbe Tailloure unto the key, by the maanovre of alle the Cominalte, as wele of Redcliff warde as of the Towne of Bristowe. And the same tyme thenhabitaunts of Redecliff were combyned and corporatid with the Town of Bristowe. And as for the grounde of Seynt Austyn’s side of the forseid ryver hit was yeve and grauntid to the Cominaltee of the seid Towne by Sir William a Bradstone then Abbot of Seynt Austyns for certeyn money therfore to hym paide by the seide Cominaltee. As appereth by olde writyng therof made bitwene the forseid Maire and Cominaltee and the seid Abbot and Covent.

    Redcliff these days tends to appear mostly in street names, such as Redcliff Street – the ancient road leading from Bristol Bridge to the former Redcliffe Gate in the city’s medieval walls – whilst Redcliffe is the more common version.

    A couple of quick text searches via Google of Bristol City Council’s website for Redcliff and Redcliffe gives the following results.

    • Redcliff: 1,120 results
    • Redcliffe: 4,020 results

    However, confusion as the spelling of Redcliff(e) has a long history. This is amply illustrated by the painting below by James Johnson entitled Redcliffe Street. It was painted around 1825 and hangs in Bristol City Museum & Art Gallery.

    image of   James Johnson's picture of Redcliffe Street, c. 1825
    Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

    Kerry McCarthy, MP for Bristol East, has now stepped into this confusing orthographic and municipal muddle via the following tweet dated August 21st.

    Before boundary changes preceding the 2010 election, Redcliff(e) was part of Kerry’s Bristol East constituency.

    It has to be conceded that there is plenty of merit in Kerry’s suggestion, although she maintains she was only ‘moaning in Twitter’.

    Bristol is nevertheless one of those places which changes at a glacial pace and place names in Bristol are frequently named after long-vanished owners/occupiers. For instance, most older inhabitants of the city still refer to the local authority’s headquarters as the Council House (pronounced Counts Louse locally. Ed.), even though one of the first acts of elected Mayor George Ferguson was to rename it with the American-sounding City Hall in a cosmetic exercise.

    Does Kerry’s campaign have any chance of success? Your views are welcome in the comments below.

  • Builder’s English?

    Seen this morning on Church Road, Lawrence Hill, Bristol.

    sign stating smile your on camera

    The person who wrote the copy must have fallen asleep in English classes when the difference between the abbreviated second person conjugation of the verb ‘to be’ and the second person possessive adjective was being explained.

    Never mind, poor English skills don’t seem to have been a barrier to employment with Cleverley Builders of Whitchurch, Bristol or Swann Security; it was uncertain to your correspondent as to who had produced the sign. However, the ability to lie on signage is also valued by Cleverley Builders and/or Swann Security as no evidence of the physical presence of video surveillance equipment could be discerned.

    If the author of the sign happens to read this, help is at hand to assist you in learning the distinguish them.

    Neither of my parents, both of whom left school at 14 years of age and received not much more than a primary education in rural Norfolk in the 1930s and 1940s would not have made such a glaring mistake in English – a mistake which seems all too commonplace amongst the beneficiaries of the modern British education system.

  • Bristol Post Balls – bad punning and sexism

    Regular readers will be aware that the Bristol Post is not renowned for the quality of its journalism.

    However, the dreadful pun and sexism of today’s front page of the dead tree edition marked a new low in the paper’s already woeful standards.

    image of Bristol Post front page with sexist pun

    Bad puns are annoying in headlines at the best of times and sexism is tolerated far less than when the fifty-something males in charge of producing Bristol’s daily work of fiction first started out in what was then called journalism.

    There has been a steady stream of criticism of the Bristol Post on Twitter throughout the day.

    However, the paper has not sought to respond to any of its critics, presumably because the person in charge of the Twitter account has yet to notice the ‘reply’ button.

    In addition, some of Bristol’s Twitterati have also been alerting the national media to The Post’s disgraceful front page seeking to trivialise a sexual assault.

    With front pages like the one above, is it any surprise that the Post’s circulation figures (as measured by ABC) are falling by nearly 11% per year? Not to me it isn’t!

    Update 18/08/14: Bristol 24-7 is reporting today that Bristol City councillor Naomi Rylatt has written to the Press Complaints Commission (PCC) over the above front page headline, describing it as a “disgusting attempt at humour“.

  • Cricket explained

    The second Test series between England and India is currently taking place in Southampton (it’ll be day 3 today. Ed.) and my radio is tuned to the epic poem that is the BBC’s Test Match Special from 10.25 until the close of play each day, with the likes of Aggers, Blowers, Tuffers and Geoffrey Boycott (posts passim) filling the air with their wise words and wit.

    Cricket is a complex game that can take a long time to understand fully and I’m still occasionally baffled by the commentators. For the uninitiated, the many different laws and the strange names for positions on the field can seem overwhelming. For instance, which other game has a position on the field called ‘cow corner’*?.

    Below is a simple explanation for the uninitiated, which I originally heard at school decades ago as a brief summary of the game for foreigners.

    You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that’s in the side that’s in goes out, and when he’s out he comes in and the next man goes in until he’s out. When they are all out, the side that’s out comes in and the side that’s been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out. When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game.

    For those who need help with fielding positions, Wikimedia Commons has helpfully provided the following graphic.

    image of cricket fielding positions

    Note that the fielding positions would be reversed for a left-handed batsman.

    * Cow corner = the area of the field (roughly) between deep mid-wicket and wide long-on. So called because few ‘legitimate’ shots are aimed to this part of the field, so fielders are rarely placed there – leading to the concept that cows could happily graze in that area.

  • Generational change: graffito

    Punk is dead” is a phrase recalled from my early twenties and apparently dates from 1978. Furthermore, “Punk is Dead” is also the title of a song by the legendary anarchist punk band Crass.

    This morning a variation on the phrase drifted into my Twitter feed, as shown by the photograph below.

    grafitti stating punk is dad

    For today’s younger people, about the age that I was when punk first emerged, the leading lights of punk rock such as The Clash, Sex Pistols and their contemporaries have probably been added to the likes of The Beatles, Bob Dylan, Jimi Hendrix and other more typical exponents of “Dad Rock“.

    Additional research has revealed that “Punk is Dad” is the title of a song by Berlin-based band Ohrbooten.

    Could the graffito be cheap promotion for Ohrbooten’s offering – or is it just bad spelling? πŸ™‚

  • LibreUmbria@Scuola nominated for Egov 2014 prize

    News arrived via my inbox this morning that LibreUmbria‘s programme in schools (LibreUmbria@Scuola), which took place in recent months in collaboration with Perugia’s third teaching district (posts passim), has been nominated for this year’s Egov Prize. LibreUmbria is the project that is promoting the use of free and open source software amongst public sector organisations in Italy’s Umbria region.

    Egov Prize logo

    The basic idea behind the Egov Prize has always been the fusion and sharing of good practice which other public sector organisations can use as an example and from which they can benefit. This will be the 10th year the prize will have been awarded.

    LibreUmbria@Scuola aims to raise awareness and promote the use of free software in schools, from the primary level upwards by training parents and teachers who will in turn train others by acting as mentors.

    The LibreUmbria@Scuola project has been implemented in arranging free seminars at schools for parents and teachers, on digital culture topics (the relationship between boys and technology, shared knowledge and free software, security, use of social media, cyberbullying). In addition to the seminars, computer courses in using the LibreOffice productivity suite running on Ubuntu Linux were also provided.

  • Caption chaos

    Being sloppy is one thing at which the Bristol Post consistently excels and the situation only looks to get worse following the announcement by David Montgomery of Local World – the owners of the Bristol Post – on the future direction of its titles and the role of journalists.

    Today’s most glaring howler features photographs with the wrong captions in this article, as illustrated below.

    incorrectly captioned photo from Bristol Post

    That’s the first locomotive I’ve seen with blonde hair! πŸ˜‰

    The chaos continues with subsequent photographs in the series too.

    incorrectly captioned photo from Bristol Post

    How anyone can confuse a girl with a locomotive is anyone’s guess.

    Is the Post employing visually-impaired journalists?

    We should be told.

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