English usage

  • More dodgy spam comment script coding

    I’ve blogged in the past about blog comment spam (posts passim).

    Today another badly coded spam comment script misfired, leaving the comment below in the moderation cue:

    I Live THESE {fendi moncler bag|moncler mens clothing|moncler gamme bleu jacket|moncler paris boutique|moncler lucie jacket|moncler 2011 collection|moncler jacket women 2012|men moncler hats|moncler ski|moncler boots uk!!!

    Leaving aside the abysmal English – ‘live’ instead of ‘love’ – can you spot where the coding error? That’s right! The missing curly bracket at the end. As Homer Simpson would say: “Doh!”

  • The long tail of LibreOffice

    In recent years, the term ‘long tail‘, which was originally coined in 2004 by Chris Anderson, has certainly caught on. Anderson’s coining of the phrase drew on a February 2003 essay by Clay Shirky entitled “Power Laws, Weblogs and Inequality”, which noted that a relatively few blogs have many links to them, but there’s a “the long tail” of millions of blogs with only a handful of links each. Anderson described the effects of the long tail on current and future business models and later developed it into a book, The Long Tail: Why the Future of Business is Selling Less of More, published in 2006.

    You may be asking what has all this to do with LibreOffice, the popular open source office suite? Well, the Document Foundation, the organisation behind LibreOffice, has recently published a blog post showing a long tail graph in relation to the developers working on LibreOffice.

    image of the long tail in action on LibreOffice. Click on the image for a full size version. Image courtesy of The Document Foundation
    The long tail in action on LibreOffice. Click on the image for a full size version. Image courtesy of The Document Foundation

    The image depicts developers who worked on LibreOffice’s code base in 2012. Last year a total some 320 developers worked on improving LibreOffice’s code. Of these, a majority were volunteers and a minority were people paid by major open source companies such as SuSE, RedHat and Canonical, as well as many smaller organisations such as Lanedo, which provides customisation services for open source products such as LibreOffice.

    The graph of the individual contributions has the shape of a “long tail”, whilst the pie chart illustrates the work done by the top 33 developers with 100+ commits, consisting of 16 volunteers and 17 paid developers (11 from SUSE, 5 from RedHat and 1 from Canonical).

  • A spam comment (or rather several) dissected

    Keeping spam comments at bay is a constant battle for regular bloggers. Today I came across an instance of where a spammer’s script for posting spam comments to blogs went completely awry and the entire contents of the script were dumped en masse in one jumbo comment, which follows (with apologies for its length! Ed.):

    {Hi|Hello|Hi there|What’s up}, {just wanted|wanted|simply wanted|I would like|I just want|merely wanted|I just wanted} to {mention|say|tell you}, I {enjoyed|liked|loved} this {article|post|blog post}. {It was|It had been|That it was|It was actually|It actually was|It seemed to be|This had been|It was pretty|This became|This was|This has been|That was} {inspiring|funny|practical|helpful}. {Keep on|Continue|Carry on|Continue on|Keep|Keep going} {posting|publishing|submitting|writing}!

    {Hi|Hello|Hi there|What’s up}, {I just|I simply|I merely|I really} {wanted to|wished to|want to|had to} {mention|say|tell you}, {you’re wrong|you’re dead wrong|I disagree}. {Your|Your own|Your current|Your actual} {post|blog|article|point} {doesn’t|does not|fails to|really doesn’t|didn’t} make {any sense|sense at all}.

    {Hi|Hello|Hi there|What’s up}, {how’s it going|how are things}? {I just|I recently|I just now} {shared|discussed|mentioned} this {post|article|posting|content|document|page|information|blog|short article} {with a|along with a} {colleague|friend|coworker|associate}, {we had|we’d|there was} a {good|great|fantastic|nice|quality|healthy|proper} {laugh|chuckle|giggle|snicker}.

    {Great delivery|Incredible points|Touche}. {Great|Outstanding|Solid|Sound} {arguments|justifications|reasons|discussions|questions|points}. {Keep up|Continue|Maintain|Sustain} the {amazing|good|great} {effort|work|spirit}.

    {This|This particular|This kind of|This valuable|This amazing} {post|text|information|info} is {priceless|invaluable|worth everyone’s attention}. {Where|How|When} {can I|can one|may I|will I|do I|could I|might I} {find out more|learn more|get more information|read more|discover more|garner more information}?

    {Highly|Very} {energetic|descriptive} {blog|article|post}, I {enjoyed|liked|loved} that {a lot|bit}. {Will there be|Maybe there is|Perhaps there is|Could there be|There has to be} {a part|part} {2|Two}?

    {Incredible|Ridiculous|Outstanding|Inspiring|Stunning} {quest|story} there. What {occurred|happened} after? {Good luck|Thanks|Take care}!

    {Can you tell us more about this|I’d like to find out more|Do you have any video of that}? I’d {care|like|love|want} to find out {more details|some additional information}.

    {Great|Very nice|Informative|Peculiar} article, {exactly|just|totally} what I {needed|wanted to find|was looking for}.

    {Hi|Hello|Hi there|What’s up}, I {log on to|check|read} your {new stuff|blogs|blog} {regularly|like every week|daily|on a regular basis}. Your {story-telling|writing|humoristic} style is {awesome|witty}, keep {doing what you’re doing|up the good work|it up}!

    {Hi|What’s up|Hi there|Hello} to {all|every one|every single one}, it’s {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} a {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} for me to {visit|go to see|pay a visit|pay a quick visit} this {website|web site|site|web page}, it {contains|consists of|includes} {valuable|precious|priceless|important|helpful|useful} Information.

    I am {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} {happy|pleased|glad|delighted} to {read|glance at} this {blog|weblog|webpage|website|web site} posts which {contains|consists of|includes|carries} {lots|plenty|tons} of {useful|helpful|valuable} {data|information|facts}, thanks for providing {such|these|these kinds of} {data|information|statistics}.

    This video post is {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} {great|enormous|impressive|wonderful|fantastic}, the {sound|noise|echo} {quality|feature} and the picture {quality|feature} of this {video|tape|film} post is {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} {awesome|remarkable|amazing}.

    {Hi|What’s up|Hi there|Hello} to every body, it’s my first {visit|go to see|pay a visit|pay a quick visit} of this {blog|weblog|webpage|website|web site}; this {blog|weblog|webpage|website|web site} {contains|consists of|includes|carries} {awesome|remarkable|amazing} and {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} {good|fine|excellent} {stuff|information|data|material} {for|designed for|in favor of|in support of} {readers|visitors}.

    {Wow|Hurrah}, that’s what I was {looking|searching|seeking|exploring} for, what a {stuff|information|data|material}! {present|existing} here at this {blog|weblog|webpage|website|web site}, thanks admin of this {website|web site|site|web page}.

    {Hi|What’s up|Hi there|Hello}, {always|for all time|all the time|constantly|every time} i used to check {blog|weblog|webpage|website|web site} posts here {early|in the early hours} in the {morning|dawn|break of day|daylight}, {because|since|as|for the reason that} i {like|love|enjoy} to {learn|gain knowledge of|find out} more and more.

    {Hi|What’s up|Hi there|Hello} to {all|every one|every }, {because|since|as|for the reason that} I am {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} {keen|eager} of reading this {blog|weblog|webpage|website|web site}’s post to be updated {regularly|daily|on a regular basis}. It {contains|consists of|includes|carries} {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} {stuff|information|data|material}.

    I {always|for all time|all the time|constantly|every time} emailed this {blog|weblog|webpage|website|web site} post page to all my {friends|associates|contacts}, {because|since|as|for the reason that} if like to read it {then|after that|next|afterward} my {friends|links|contacts} will too.

    Can you please {email|send|send by e-mail|forward|send an e-mail to} me the code for this script or please {tell|inform|let know|enlighten} me in detail {about|concerning|regarding|in relation to} this script?

    Your {way|method|means|mode} of {describing|explaining|telling} {everything|all|the whole thing} in this {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} is {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious}, {all|every one} {can|be able to|be capable of} {easily|without difficulty|effortlessly|simply} {understand|know|be aware of} it, Thanks a lot.

    {Good|Fine|Excellent} way of {describing|explaining|telling}, and {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} to {take|get|obtain} {data|information|facts} {regarding|concerning|about|on the topic of} my presentation {topic|subject|subject matter|focus}, which i am going to {deliver|convey|present} in {university|institution of higher education|college|academy|school}.

    {Hi|What’s up|Hi there|Hello}, I {want|desire|wish for|would like} to subscribe for this {blog|weblog|webpage|website|web site} to {take|get|obtain} {latest|newest|most recent|most up-to-date|hottest} updates, {so|thus|therefore} where can i do it please {help|assist|help out}.

    {Hi|What’s up|Hi there|Hello}, after reading this {awesome|remarkable|amazing} {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} i am {also|too|as well} {happy|glad|cheerful|delighted} to share my {experience|knowledge|familiarity|know-how} here with {friends|mates|colleagues}.

    {Marvelous|Wonderful|Excellent|Fabulous|Superb}, what a {blog|weblog|webpage|website|web site} it is! This {blog|weblog|webpage|website|web site} {provides|gives|presents} {useful|helpful|valuable} {data|information|facts} to us, keep it up.

    {Hi|What’s up|Hi there|Hello} {all|everybody|every one}, here {every one|every person} is sharing {such|these|these kinds of} {experience|knowledge|familiarity|know-how}, {so|thus|therefore} it’s {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} to read this {blog|weblog|webpage|website|web site}, and I used to {visit|go to see|pay a visit|pay a quick visit} this {blog|weblog|webpage|website|web site} {everyday|daily|every day|all the time}.

    What a funny blog! I {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} {enjoyed|loved} watching this {funny|humorous|comic} video with my {family|relatives|family unit} as well as {with|together with|along with|including} my {friends|mates|colleagues}.

    {Graphics|Pictures|Sketches} are {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} source of {teaching|education|lessons|instruction} instead of {text|passage|wording|content}, its my {experience|knowledge|familiarity|know-how}, what would you say?

    {Hi|What’s up|Hi there|Hello}, its {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} {regarding|concerning|about|on the topic of} media print, we all {know|be familiar with|understand|be aware of} media is a {great|enormous|impressive|wonderful|fantastic} source of {data|information|facts}.

    {Hi|What’s up|Hi there|Hello}, this weekend is {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} {for|designed for|in favor of|in support of} me, {because|since|as|for the reason that} this {time|occasion|point in time|moment} i am reading this {great|enormous|impressive|wonderful|fantastic} {informative|educational} {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} here at my {home|house|residence}.

    This is my first time {visit|go to see|pay a visit|pay a quick visit} at here and i am {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} {impressed|happy|pleassant} to read {all|everthing} at {one|alone|single} place.

    {Nice|Good|Fastidious} {replies|respond|answers|answer back|response} in return of this {question|query|difficulty|issue|matter} with {solid|firm|real|genuine} arguments and {describing|explaining|telling} {everything|all|the whole thing} {regarding|concerning|about|on the topic of} that.

    I {visit|go to see|pay a visit|pay a quick visit} {everyday|daily|each day|day-to-day|every day} {some|a few} {websites|sites|web sites|web pages|blogs} and {blogs|websites|information sites|sites} to read {articles|posts|articles or reviews|content}, {but|except|however} this {blog|weblog|webpage|website|web site} {provides|offers|gives|presents} {quality|feature} based {articles|posts|content|writing}.

    {Of course|Obviously|Certainly|Sure|As expected} high resolution {video|videotape|film} quality {contains|consists of|includes|carries} much memory, that’s why it {provides|gives|presents|gives you} {better|improved|enhanced|superior} {quality|feature}.

    If you are {going|going away|ready|free} to watch {funny|humorous|comical|comic} videos {online|on the internet|on the web|on the net} then I suggest you to {visit|go to see|pay a visit|pay a quick visit} this {website|web site|site|web page}, it {contains|consists of|includes|carries} {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} {so|thus|therefore} {funny|humorous|comical|comic} not only {videos|movies|video clips} but also {other|additional|extra} {stuff|information|data|material}.

    I know this {website|web site|site|web page} {provides|offers|gives|presents} quality {based|dependent|depending} {articles|posts|articles or reviews|content} and {other|additional|extra} {stuff|information|data|material}, is there any other {website|web site|site|web page} which {provides|offers|gives|presents} {such|these|these kinds of} {things|information|stuff|data} in quality?

    {Hi|What’s up|Hi there|Hello} {friends|mates|colleagues}, its {great|enormous|impressive|wonderful|fantastic} {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} {regarding|concerning|about|on the topic of} {education|teaching|tutoring|culture}and {fully|completely|entirely} {explained|defined}, keep it up all the time.

    Downloading {stuff|information|data|material} from this {website|web site|site|web page} is as {easy|simple|trouble-free|straightforward|effortless} |as clicking the mouse rather than other {websites|sites|web sites|web pages|blogs} which {transfer|move|shift} me here and there on the {pages|web pages|internet pages|web sites|webpages}.

    {Hi|What’s up|Hi there|Hello} {everybody|everyone}, I am sure you will be enjoying here by watching {such|these|these kinds of} {funny|hilarious|comical|comic} {videos|movies|video clips|video lessons}.

    I {always|constantly|every time} spent my half an hour to read this {blog|weblog|webpage|website|web site}’s {articles|posts|articles or reviews|content} {everyday|daily|every day|all the time} along with a {cup|mug} of coffee.

    {Hurrah|Wow}! {Finally|At last|After all|In the end} I got a {blog|weblog|webpage|website|web site} from where I {can|be able to|know how to|be capable of} {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} {take|get|obtain} {useful|helpful|valuable} {data|information|facts} {regarding|concerning} my study and knowledge.

    {Hi|What’s up|Hi there|Hello}, {everything|all|the whole thing} is going {well|fine|sound|perfectly|nicely} here and ofcourse every one is sharing {data|information|facts}, that’s {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} {good|fine|excellent}, keep up writing.

    If you {want|desire|wish for|would like} to {increase|improve|grow} your {experience|knowledge|familiarity|know-how} {only|simply|just} keep visiting this {website|web site|site|web page} and be updated with the {latest|newest|most recent|most up-to-date|hottest} {news|information|gossip|news update} posted here.

    {Hi|What’s up|Hi there|Hello} to {all|every one}, the contents {present|existing} at this {website|web site|site|web page} are {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} {awesome|remarkable|amazing} for people {experience|knowledge}, well, keep up the {nice|good} work fellows.

    No one can {deny|refuse|reject} from the {quality|feature} of this video posted at this {website|web site|site|web page}, {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} {job|work}, keep it all the time.

    {No matter if|When} some one searches for his {required|necessary|essential|vital} thing, {so|thus|therefore} he/she {wants|needs|desires|wishes} to be available that in detail, {so|thus|therefore} that thing is maintained over here.

    {Because|Since|As|For the reason that} the admin of this {website|web site|site|web page} is working, no {doubt|hesitation|uncertainty|question} very {soon|rapidly|quickly|shortly} it will be {famous|well-known|renowned}, due to its {quality|feature} contents.

    Quality {articles|posts|articles or reviews|content} is the {key|secret|important|main|crucial} to {attract|be a focus for|invite|interest} the {users|people|viewers|visitors} to {visit|go to see|pay a visit|pay a quick visit} the {website|web site|site|web page}, that’s what this {website|web site|site|web page} is providing.

    {Hi|What’s up|Hi there|Hello} everyone, it’s my first {visit|go to see|pay a visit|pay a quick visit} at this {website|web site|site|web page}, and {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} is {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} fruitful {for|designed for|in favor of|in support of} me, keep up posting {such|these|these types of} {articles|posts|articles or reviews|content}.

    Wow, what a video it is! {Really|Actually|In fact|Truly|Genuinely} {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} {quality|feature} video, the lesson given in this video is {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} informative.

    If you are going for {best|most excellent|finest} contents like {me|I do|myself}, {only|simply|just} {visit|go to see|pay a visit|pay a quick visit} this {website|web site|site|web page} {everyday|daily|every day|all the time} {because|since|as|for the reason that} it {provides|offers|gives|presents} {quality|feature} contents, thanks

    It’s {awesome|remarkable|amazing} {for|designed for|in favor of|in support of} me to have a {website|web site|site|web page}, which is {beneficial|helpful|useful|valuable|good} {for|designed for|in favor of|in support of} my {experience|knowledge|know-how}. thanks admin

    I visited {multiple|many|several|various} {websites|sites|web sites|web pages|blogs} {but|except|however} the audio {quality|feature} for audio songs {current|present|existing} at this {website|web site|site|web page} is {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} {marvelous|wonderful|excellent|fabulous|superb}.

    I’m gone to {tell|inform|say to|convey} my little brother, that he should also {visit|go to see|pay a visit|pay a quick visit} this {blog|weblog|webpage|website|web site} on regular basis to {take|get|obtain} updated from {latest|newest|most recent|most up-to-date|hottest} {news|information|reports|gossip|news update}.

    {Thanks|Appreciation|Thankfulness} to my father who {told|informed|shared with|stated to} me {regarding|concerning|about|on the topic of} this {blog|weblog|webpage|website|web site}, this {blog|weblog|webpage|website|web site} is {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} {awesome|remarkable|amazing}.

    {Hi|What’s up|Hi there|Hello} Dear, are you {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} visiting this {website|web site|site|web page} {regularly|daily|on a regular basis}, if so {then|after that|afterward} you will {definitely|absolutely|without doubt} {take|get|obtain} {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} {experience|knowledge|know-how}.

    I am John, how are you everybody? This {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} posted at this {website|web site|site|web page} is {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious}.

    {Hi|What’s up|Hi there|Hello} it’s me Fiona, I am also visiting this {website|web site|site|web page} {regularly|daily|on a regular basis}, this {website|web site|site|web page} is {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} and the {users|people|viewers|visitors} are {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} sharing {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} thoughts.

    {Really|Actually|In fact|Truly|Genuinely} {no matter if|when} someone doesn’t {understand|know|be aware of} {then|after that|afterward} its up to other {users|people|viewers|visitors} that they will {help|assist}, so here it {happens|occurs|takes place}.

    {Now|At this time|At this moment|Right away} I am {going|going away|ready} to do my breakfast, {after|later than|once|when|afterward} having my breakfast coming {again|yet again|over again} to read {more|additional|further|other} news.

    Wow, this {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} is {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious}, my {sister|younger sister} is analyzing {such|these|these kinds of} things, {so|thus|therefore} I am going to {tell|inform|let know|convey} her.

    These are {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} {great|enormous|impressive|wonderful|fantastic} ideas in {regarding|concerning|about|on the topic of} blogging. You have touched some {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} {points|factors|things} here. Any way keep up wrinting.

    Asking questions are {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} thing if you are not understanding {anything|something} {fully|completely|entirely|totally}, {but|except|however} this {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} {provides|offers|gives|presents} {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} understanding {even|yet}.

    That’s {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} a {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} {video|movie|YouTube movie} {mentioned|pointed out|described|stated} {in|inside|within} this {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} {regarding|concerning|about|on the topic of} how to write a {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph}, {so|thus|therefore} i got clear idea from here.

    This {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} {provides|offers|gives|presents} clear idea {for|designed for|in favor of|in support of} the new {users|people|viewers|visitors} of blogging, that {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} how to do {blogging|blogging and site-building|running a blog}.

    This {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} {regarding|concerning|about|on the topic of} SEO {provides|offers|gives|presents} clear {idea|thought|picture} {for|designed for|in favor of|in support of} new SEO {users|people|viewers|visitors} that how to do {SEO|Search engine optimization}, {so|thus|therefore} keep it up. {Nice|Pleasant|Good|Fastidious} {job|work}

    Thanks {for|designed for|in favor of|in support of} sharing such a {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} {thought|idea|opinion|thinking}, {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} is {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious}, thats why i have read it {fully|completely|entirely}

    If some one {needs|wants|desires|wishes} expert view {regarding|concerning|about|on the topic of} {blogging|blogging and site-building|running a blog} {then|after that|afterward} i {suggest|propose|advise|recommend} him/her to {visit|go to see|pay a visit|pay a quick visit} this {blog|weblog|webpage|website|web site}, Keep up the {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} {job|work}.

    Very {soon|rapidly|quickly|shortly} this {website|web site|site|web page} will be famous {among|amid} all {blogging|blogging and site-building|blog} {users|people|viewers|visitors}, due to it’s {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} {articles|posts|articles or reviews|content}

    Every weekend i used to {visit|go to see|pay a visit|pay a quick visit} this {website|web site|site|web page}, {because|as|for the reason that} i {want|wish for} enjoyment, {since|as|for the reason that} this this {website|web site|site|web page} conations {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} funny {stuff|information|data|material} too.

    {It’s|It is|Its} not my first time to {visit|go to see|pay a visit|pay a quick visit} this {website|web site|site|web page}, i am {visiting|browsing} this {website|web site|site|web page} dailly and {take|get|obtain} {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} {data|information|facts} from here {everyday|daily|every day|all the time}.

    {Wow|Hurrah}, what a quality it is! {Because|Since|As|For the reason that} mostly YouTube {videos|movies|video clips|video tutorials|video lessons} have no {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} {quality|feature}, {but|except|however} this is {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} a {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} quality video.

    {Hi|What’s up|Hi there|Hello} to all, the YouTube {video|record|film} that is posted at {here|at this place|at this point|at this juncture} has {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} quality {along|beside} with {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} audio {quality|feature}

    {Awesome|Remarkable|Amazing} video, {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} a {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} quality, this YouTube video touched me a lot in terms of {quality|features}.

    Its {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} {funny|humorous|comical|comic} YouTube video, I {always|all the time|constantly|every time} go to {visit|go to see|pay a visit|pay a quick visit} YouTube {website|web site|site|web page} {for|designed for|in favor of|in support of} {funny|humorous|comical|comic} videos, {because|since|as|for the reason that} there is much more {stuff|information|data|material} available.

    {For|In favor of|In support of} my {study|learn|learning|schoolwork|reading} {purposes|reasons}, I {always|at all times|all the time|every time} used to {download|get} the video lectures from YouTube, {because|since|as|for the reason that} it is {easy|simple|trouble-free|straightforward|effortless} to fan-out from there.

    Hahahaha, what a {funny|humorous|comical|comic} this YouTube {video|record|film} is! {I am|I’m|We are|My group is} still laughing, thanks to {admin|admin of this site} who had posted at this {website|web site|site|web page}.

    {Such|These} are {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} {cool|awesome} YouTube {videos|movies|video clips|video tutorials|video lessons}, its my {luck|fortune|good fortune|good luck} to {visit|go to see|pay a visit|pay a quick visit} this {website|web site|site|web page} and finding {such|these} {cool|awesome} YouTube {videos|movies|video clips|video tutorials|video lessons}.

    {Awesome|Remarkable|Amazing} YouTube {videos|movies|video clips|video tutorials|video lessons} posted at this {website|web site|site|web page}, I am going to subscribe for {regularly|daily|on a regular basis} updates, {because|since|as|for the reason that} I don’t {want|desire|wish for|would like} to {miss|fail to take} this series.

    It’s my first {visit|go to see|pay a visit|pay a quick visit} to this {website|web site|site|web page}, and I am {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} {surprised|astonished|amazed} to see such a {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} {quality|feature} YouTube video posted {here|at this place|at this point}.

    When I saw this {website|web site|site|web page} having {awesome|remarkable|amazing} {quality|featured} YouTube {videos|movies|video clips|video tutorials|video lessons}, I decided to watch out these all {videos|movies|video clips|video tutorials|video lessons}.

    Hahahahahahaha, this politics related YouTube video is {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} so {funny|humorous|comical|comic}, I {liked|loved} it. Thanks {for|designed for|in favor of|in support of} sharing this.

    {Hi|What’s up|Hi there|Hello} {everybody|everyone}, I {know|be familiar with} YouTube video {contains|consists of|includes|carries} {less|fewer} bytes of memory due to that its quality is {bad|awful|poor}, {but|except|however} this YouTube video has {great|enormous|impressive|wonderful|fantastic} picture {quality|features}.

    My grand father {always|all the time|constantly|every time} used to watch YouTube {funny|humorous|comical|comic} {videos|movies|video clips|video tutorials|video lessons}, hehehehehe, {because|since|as|for the reason that} he {wants|needs|desires|wishes} to be {happy|glad|cheerful|delighted} {always|forever}.

    YouTube is world’s {largest|biggest|leading} video sharing {website|web site|site|web page}, no one can defeat it. Every one {upload|add} {videos|movies|video clips|video tutorials|video lessons} at YouTube {then|after that|afterward} {take|get|obtain} embed code and post {anywhere|anyplace|everywhere}.

    Its {absolutely|extremely|definitely} {brilliant|good } YouTube video in terms of {quality|features}, {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious}, its quality is {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} appreciable.

    This {website|web site|site|web page} {provides|offers|gives|presents} {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} {quality|featured} YouTube videos; I always {download|get|down load} the dance {competition|contest} show {videos|movies|video clips|video tutorials|video lessons} from this {website|web site|site|web page}.

    What a {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} YouTube video it is! {Awesome|Remarkable|Amazing}, I {liked|loved} it, and I am sharing this YouTube {video|record|film} with all my {friends|mates|colleagues}.

    Sharing some thing is {better|superior} than keeping up-to our self, {so|thus|therefore} the YouTube video that is posted {here|at this place|at this time|at this juncture} I am going to share {with|by means of|by|through} my {family|relatives} and {friends|mates|colleagues}.

    {Because|Since|As|For the reason that} the YouTube {videos|movies|video clips|video tutorials|video lessons} are posted {here|at this place} same like I also embed YouTube video code at my own {website|web site|site|web page}, {because|since|as|for the reason that} it is {easy|simple|trouble-free|straightforward|effortless} to {take|get|obtain} embedded code.

    {Nowadays|Today|Now|Currently} YouTube {videos|movies|video clips|video tutorials|video lessons} quality is more {better|improved|enhanced|superior} and {better|improved|enhanced|superior}, {so|thus|therefore} that’s the {reason|cause|motive} that I am watching this video at {here|at this place|at this time|at this point}.

    These all YouTube gaming {videos|movies|video clips|video tutorials|video lessons} are {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} in {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} quality, I watched out all these along {with|by means of|by|through} my {friends|mates|colleagues}.

    I and my {friends|mates|colleagues} watch the {football|soccer } game clips at YouTube {always|forever|for all time|all the time}, {because|since|as|for the reason that} they have in {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} quality.

    In my {home|house|residence} when I {take|get} bored, {then|after that|afterward} I {only|simply|just} ON my {computer|PC|laptop|notebook} and open YouTube {website|web site|site|web page} to watch the YouTube {videos|movies|video clips|video tutorials|video lessons}.

    {Hi|What’s up|Hi there|Hello}, {it is|it’s|its} understandable {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} along with this YouTube video; I can’t {think|believe|imagine} that one can not understand this {easy|simple|trouble-free|straightforward|effortless} {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} having with video {demo|demonstration|presentation|sample}.

    This {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} {regarding|concerning|about|on the topic of} how to embed a YouTube video code is {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} {useful|helpful|valuable} {for|designed for|in favor of|in support of} {new|fresh} {internet|web|internet access} {users|people|viewers|visitors}. {Nice|Pleasant|Good|Fastidious} {job|work|occupation|employment}, keep it up.

    {In|Inside|Within|Into} YouTube video embed {code|script} you can also {specify|give|stipulate} parameters {according|in accordance|based|matching} to your {wish|desire|hope} like width, height or even border colors.

    YouTube {videos|movies|video clips|video tutorials|video lessons} are {famous|well-known} in {entire|whole} {globe|world}, {because|since|as|for the reason that} it is the {biggest|largest|leading} video sharing {website|web site|site}, and I {become|turn out to be} too {happy|glad|cheerful|delighted} by watching YouTube {videos|movies|video clips|video tutorials|video lessons}.

    YouTube {contains|consists of|includes|carries} not {only|simply|just} {funny|humorous|comical|comic} and humorous {videos|movies|video clips|video tutorials|video lessons} but also it {contains|consists of|includes|carries} {educational|learning} related {videos|movies|video clips|video tutorials|video lessons}.

    {Hi|What’s up|Hi there|Hello} dear, are you enjoying with this {funny|humorous|comical|comic} YouTube video? Hmmm, that’s {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious}, I am {also|as well} watching this YouTube {funny|humorous|comical|comic|joke} video at the moment.

    I am {happy|glad|cheerful|delighted} to {see|watch} this you tube video at this {website|web site|site|web page}, {so|thus|therefore} {now|right now} I am also going to {upload|add} all my {videos|movies|video clips|video tutorials|video lessons} at YouTube {website|web site|site|web page}.

    Its my {luck|fortune|destiny|good fortune|good luck} to {visit|go to see|pay a visit|pay a quick visit} at this {blog|weblog|webpage|website|web site} and find out my required {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} along with video {demo|demonstration|presentation}, that’s YouTube video and its also in quality.

    Oh! Wow its {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} a {funny|humorous|comical|comic} and jockey YouTube video posted {here|at this place|at this point|at this juncture}. thanks for sharing it.

    I got so bored {today|at the moment|in the present day} afternoon, {but|however} {when|while|as soon as} I watched this YouTube {funny|humorous|comical|comic} clip at this {blog|weblog|webpage|website|web site} I {become|turn out to be|turn into} fresh and {happy|glad|cheerful|delighted} {too|as well}.

    {Hi|What’s up|Hi there|Hello} my {friends|mates|colleagues}, how is everything? Here it is {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} YouTube {videos|movies|video clips|video tutorials|video lessons} collection. i enjoyed a lot.

    My {boss|chief} is {also|as well} {keen|eager} of YouTube {funny|humorous|comical|comic} {videos|movies|video clips|video tutorials|video lessons}, he also watch these even in {office|place of work|workplace|organization|company} hehehe..

    {Hi|What’s up|Hi there|Hello}, can any body {help|assist} me how to {download|get|down load} this video tutorial from this {website|web site|site|web page}, I have watched and listen it {here|at this place|at this time|now} but {want|desire|wish for|would like} to {download|get|down load} it.

    This {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} is {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} a {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} one it {helps|assists} new {internet|web|net|the web} {users|people|viewers|visitors}, who are wishing {for|in favor of} blogging.

    When someone writes an {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} he/she {keeps|maintains|retains} the {idea|thought|plan|image} of a user in his/her {mind|brain} that how a user can {understand|know|be aware of} it. {So|Thus|Therefore} that’s why this {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} is {amazing|great|perfect|outstdanding}. Thanks!

    Each of the paragraphs in the quoted section above is meant to be an individual spam comment. The way that the script is supposed to work is as follows: the script is supplied with a list of websites to crawl. Once at the site the script should the use the template to select a paragraph and generate a plain text message using only one alternative from each of the selections in curly brackets in one paragraph. Thus it can be seen how lots of comments with permutations can be generated automatically with very little effort.

    However, little effort has also been spared on the quality of the English in the text, e.g. spelling mistakes such as “conations” and “dailly”, and one can easily imagine that that the coding was of a similarly poor quality. 🙂

  • The Golden Bull Awards 2012

    image of the Golden Bull trophy
    The Golden Bull, the ultimate accolade for gobbledygook
    I might not always agree with everything done by the Plain English Campaign, but I must commend them for their excellent work in combating the spread of impenetrable and confusing jargon by both public sector organisations and the private sector with their annual Golden Bull Awards. The Golden Bull Awards are presented annually for the year’s ‘best’ examples of gobbledygook.

    This year’s awards were announced yesterday, 10th December, and there are some real corkers amongst the winners.

    For instance, there’s the following from the newly created Cheshire, Warrington and Wirral NHS Commissioning Support Service:

    A unique factor of the NHS Cheshire Warrington and Wirral Commissioning support organisation is its systematised methodology for project and programme management of small, medium, large service re-design and implementation…Building in equality and risk impact assessments the options are taken through a process to arrive at the content for an output based specification and benefits foreseen as a result of the implementation.

    The service is inclusive of full engagement with Clinical Commissioning Groups who direct at decision-making points how they wish the proposal to be deployed (re-commmisson, de-commission or changes to current services/providers), and lastly an implementation team who see the service redesign through to evaluation and benefits realisation.

    Another fine example comes from the London Borough of Enfield for this extract from a letter about a building’s change of use.

    NOTIFICATION OF THE MAKING OF ARTICLE 4 DIRECTION (REF: Art 4/HMO) RELATING TO HOUSES IN MULTIPLE OCCUPATION

    I am writing to inform you that on the 15th October 2012, the London Borough of Enfield made a direction (reference: Art 4HMO) under article 4(1) of the Town and Country Planning (General Permitted Development) Order 1995 as amended.

    The direction relates to development consisting of a change of the use of a building to a use falling within Class C4 (houses in multiple occupation) of the Schedule to the Town and Country Planning (Use Classes) Order 1987 from a use falling within Class C3 (dwellinghouses) of that Schedule, and removes permitted development rights for this type of development from the date when the direction comes into force.

    Finally, a private sector example. Can you decode this extract from the Investors’ Report of December 2011 from The Children’s Mutual?

    UBS believe that the ‘New Normal’ economic environment of relatively low growth means that the ability to differentiate between secular and cyclical growth opportunities becomes more important and that for the foreseeable future the main driving influence on market sentiment will be the structural adjustments and the political capital required to help mitigate the contractionary influence of low growth.

    What this means for portfolio construction is that in a low growth, low return, capital constrained environment, competitive advantage favours a combination of income generative, conservatively funded, self sustaining businesses – groups that UBS class as “dividend aristocrats” and who are experiencing secular growth. This leads UBS to their long-term core investment objective of being invested in high quality businesses.

    If any passing reader can render the above quotations into plain English, please feel free to do so in the comments below.

  • A government of snollygosters

    I’ve just finished reading Utopia by Sir Thomas More (1478-1535).

    Utopia contrasts the contentious social life of European states with the perfectly orderly, reasonable social arrangements of Utopia and its environs (Tallstoria, Nolandia and Aircastle). In Utopia, with communal ownership of land, private property does not exist, men and women are educated alike and there is almost complete religious toleration.

    Woodcut by Ambrosius Holbein for the 1518 edition of Thomas More's Utopia
    Woodcut by Ambrosius Holbein for the 1518 edition of Thomas More’s Utopia. Picture courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

    One passage in the final chapter (entitled ‘Of the religions of the Utopians’) in particular struck a chord with me. It’s reproduced below.

    Therefore I must say that, as I hope for mercy, I can have no other notion of all the other governments that I see or know, than that they are a conspiracy of the rich, who, on pretence of managing the public, only pursue their private ends, and devise all the ways and arts they can find out; first, that they may, without danger, preserve all that they have so ill-acquired, and then, that they may engage the poor to toil and labour for them at as low rates as possible, and oppress them as much as they please; and if they can but prevail to get these contrivances established by the show of public authority, which is considered as the representative of the whole people, then they are accounted laws; yet these wicked men, after they have, by a most insatiable covetousness, divided that among themselves with which all the rest might have been well supplied, are far from that happiness that is enjoyed among the Utopians…

    Did Thomas More foresee the present UK government and its failed austerity policy? Hardly likely, but his words still have a ring of truth to them, which tells me that very little has changed in in general in governments since More’s time six centuries ago, apart from the introduction and gradual widening of the franchise to give the snollygosters an air of democratic respectability.

    In case you’re wondering, a snollygoster is a person, especially a politician, who is guided by personal advantage rather than by consistent, respectable principles. As a word, it originated in the fast-expanding USA of the nineteenth century.

    More’s Utopia is available for free in various formats from Project Gutenberg (posts passim).

  • Little Brother alive and well in North Somerset

    North Somerset strikes me as a somewhat ambivalent area of the country. On the one hand, it has town councils eager to indulge in Luddism and hold back the tide of technology (posts passim). On the other, the unitary authority – North Somerset Council – seems eager to do its bit for Orwell‘s dystopian vision of the future in its own Little Brother-ish way.

    North Somerset Council is apparently compiling a database of email addresses of people who choose that means of contacting it, according to a report in today’s Bristol Post.

    According to the council, this database is for use to contact people in an emergency and will not be passed on to third parties.

    However, the council has only just released details of the existence of this email address database once it had already collected 20,000 entries.

    According to a council spokesman: “The central database complies with data protection and email addresses will not be shared or sold to third parties (now where have we heard that before? Ed.).

    “This is just another way of the council being able to communicate with its residents should an emergency situation arise.

    “The addresses will not be used for any other reason. People who do not want to be contacted in this way can ask to have their details removed from the database.”

    Isn’t that reassuring? People can have their details removed from the database if they don’t want to be contacted by this means. This means North Somerset residents will have to take action themselves to be removed from a list that they probably didn’t want – or consent – to be added to in the first place.

    There’s far too much of this kind of data scraping going on. It would have been better if North Somerset Council had sought the informed consent of its email correspondents before adding them automatically to its database, but then again that would involve treating people like intelligent human beings. However, this is a highly unlikely prospect given that North Somerset Council has an even greater propensity than its big neighbour Bristol to refer disingenuously to its residents as ‘customers’. 🙁

  • Trains of thought

    As I never learnt to drive, I’m reliant for getting around on my own motive power or the use of public transport, particularly trains.

    To the best of my knowledge I’ve been using the railway for some five decades now, starting from my earliest recollections of junior school trips in the early 1960s to Whipsnade Zoo and London Heathrow Airport hauled by steam locomotive.

    Train travel has changed immensely since my early days. Trains themselves no longer carry mail or parcels and there’s no such thing as the guard’s van either, where the mail and parcels were stowed along with wicker baskets of racing pigeons.

    Train announcements have likewise mutated. Nowadays, they are bland and sound like they’ve been cobbled together in a studio, rather than delivered live by a live human being. My all-time favourite was that of a now long-gone male announcer at Bristol Temple Meads. When on duty, he announced the impending departure of any service with the words: “The X train on platform Y is now ready to depart. Close the doors and stand clear, please!” Announcements of this kind have now been rendered redundant by the introduction of centralised carriage door locking, which is activated some 30 seconds or more before departure.

    The language of the railways has changed over the decades too. The guard – a member of the proletariat – has been superseded by the modern ‘train manager’; presumably letting British management, a well known industrial disease, have charge of trains is a continuing reason for their failing to run to timetable. 🙂

    If you go looking for refreshment, the good old buffet car has gone, replaced by the bland, utilitarian ‘shop’. Who’s there to serve you? Not the steward: he or she has been replaced by a lumpen, jargon-ridden creature called the customer service host. How appetising. Talking of food, when was the last time passengers (sorry, ‘customers’ in the shiny newspeak of the train operating companies) saw a restaurant car?

    When on the train one can always spot the ‘train managers’ who started their working lives as guards or ticket collectors by their announcements over the speaker system: these are the ones whose trains “arrive at” the station, rather than the grammatically incorrect “arrive into”(on this side of the Atlantic at least; US aircraft frequently do this at their destinations).

    Bon voyage!

  • “Cutlass supplied”

    Skull and crossbonesEvery now and again there’s a job advertisement that’s so unusual it deserves wider circulation: and there’s a great example on the tourist business website Destination Bristol at the moment.

    Bristol Pirate Walks are looking for an Assistant Pirate to join Pirate Pete.

    The Assistant Pirate should be confident and outgoing with a bubbly personality and be ready to meet and greet visitors to Bristol from across the world, from children and families to corporate groups.

    This is a part-time role with full training given on the history of this port, and would be of interest those who enjoy meeting people and leading walking groups around the harbour.

    Cutlass supplied

    As pirates are typically portrayed as folk whose speech requires little grammar, I wonder if the “full training given” will include lessons in ignoring English syntax. 😀

    Of course, Bristol, being a port city, has close associations with the sea and hence maritime crime of all kinds, including piracy, as well as having pirates amongst its sons and daughters. Edward Teach, otherwise known as Blackbeard, was born in the (now comfortably fragrant and middle class) Redland area of the city in 1680.

  • Crapita lives up to its name – again

    Yesterday’s Daily Mirror reports that Birmingham City Council‘s new £11 mn. automated telephone system, which features computerised speech recognition technology, is a massive failure for the simple reason that it cannot cope with the local Brummie accent.

    Hundreds of locals have complained they are unable to get through to council services, such as the rent arrears department. To add insult to injury, when callers encounter difficulties, the recorded voice of a woman with a Geordie accent tells them: “I can’t understand that, could you please repeat it?”

    Victoria Square, Birmingham, with the city council headquarters. Picture courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.

    Indeed the system is so abysmal that each call is costing the city council – the UK’s largest local authority – the equivalent of £4.

    Last year the council axed its call centre, which used to employ 55 people and contracted Capita IT Services (whose home page reads: “Capable. Our experts are able to create improved business performance with our customers”. Ed.) to supply the new, unusable system.

    Could this be a sister company of Capita Translation and Interpreting, the outfit responsible for the court interpreting fiasco (posts passim)?

  • Bristol Post exclusive: city has a literate cricket ground

    Ever since I arrived in Bristol, I’ve been both dismayed and amused in equal amounts by the abysmal standards of English in the local press.

    This ancient tradition’s greatest proponent has been the alleged local paper of record, the Bristol Evening Post, whose publication is now reduced to 5 days a week as sales of the dead tree edition decline; its name has likewise been truncated to the Bristol Post.

    Today the Post revealed an exclusive. Bristol has a literate cricket ground, presumably able to speak and write, as evidenced by the following Post quote:

    The ground, in Nevil Road, St Andrew’s, released a statement this morning.

    If the ground really does talk, Gloucestershire [County] CC should be very proud of it since this particular skill is far more impressive than its cricketing record. 😉

    Update: 6th November 2012: Jon Eccles has since remarked that the County Ground is “the first sports facility of any kind to pass the Turing test“.

Posts navigation