Bristol | Steve Woods

The Galleries – Bristol’s sunlit uplands?

12/04/2023 Steve WoodsBristol, Language, Politics

Unicorns are commonly described as horse-like creatures with a single large, pointed, spiralling horn projecting from their foreheads. They have been depicted as such in European art for at least a millennium, although their origins stretch way back into history to the Bronze Age Indus Valley Civilisation and the Middle East.

In a more recent context, the sunlit uplands first popularised in Churchill’s “This was their finest hour” speech in 1940 was dusted off by the Brexit zealots and Europhobes to denote the boundless possibilities which faced the country once it had extricated itself from the stranglehold of the alien and oppressive European Union.

Those on the Remain side of the argument eagerly populated these mythological mountain pastures with herds of unicorns to illustrate the delusions of the Brexiteers. Those who turned the unicorns loose on the sunlit uplands have since prove correct in the mockery: Brexit has been an absolute disaster with increased bureaucracy and delays at the Channel ports, not to mention the 5% plus decline in GDP
Being built on what were the banks of Bristol’s tidal River Frome (long since culverted. Ed.), the Galleries shopping centre could not in any way be classified as belonging to any uplands, sunlit or otherwise. Nevertheless, one empty shop unit on the top floor was populated by a whole herd of unicorns.

Had they migrated from those Phoebus-favoured hills? Despite the £116.8m cost to the taxpayer and low visitor numbers of the original, was the city planning its very own Festival of Brexit?

The answer was staring your bemused correspondent in the face in one of the shop’s windows.

It was another of those local sculpture trails (posts passim), this time featuring unicorns instead of gorillas or Gromits, ostensibly to celebrate the 650th anniversary of the Bristol gaining county status in 1373, presumably by the usual practice of the time of local worthies giving the reigning monarch a large amount of cash in return for a charter or, as stated on the festival website:

Unicornfest, part of the 650th anniversary celebrations for Bristol, seeks to unite the business and creative sectors, as well as local communities and schools across Bristol and the surrounding area, bringing art, colour and fun to the streets of the city this year.
Barton Hill litter pick

19/03/2023 Steve WoodsBristol

Saturday 18th March was a fine warm day and your ‘umble scribe had received an invitation from a friend Eric in the neighbouring district of Barton Hill to participate in the regular monthly community litter pick, which I’d committed to doing as I’d forgotten about the previous event due to strong drink having been taken the night before.

At 10 am three of us – Eric, Shona and your correspondent – all equipped with gloves, litter pickers and bags all set off into the Urban Park, mainly to concentrate on clearing its fences, hedges and shrubbery of wind-blown litter – mostly plastic carrier bags and sweet and snack wrappers. – although we did encounter recyclable materials such as bottles and cans which were duly placed in separate bags. One worrying development was the large nitrous oxide catering cylinders (note to users: I have no personal beef with you wanting to have a pharmaceutically-induced giggle, but please dispose of the waste properly 😀 ).

Photo courtesy of Shona Jemphrey

Anyway at the end of an hour that went very quickly, encouraged by smiles and kind words from passers-by, the flowers and blossom that were blooming, we’d collected 5 bags of grot for collection by Bristol Waste and retreated to the Wellspring Settlement for a cuppa before dispersing for the rest of the day.

A final footnote. Whilst in the Urban Park it was good to note that repairs to the poor quality surface around the play equipment area were finally being carried out after at least 3 years’ lobbying by concerned local residents.
A bridge too far

15/03/2023 Steve WoodsBristol, Language, Media, Oddities

The M4 motorway is the main road connection across the Severn estuary between England and South Wales.

Originally it crossed the river at Aust via the Severn Bridge/Pont Hafren, replacing an old ferry service .

After the completion of the Second Severn Crossing, the section of the M4 from Olveston in England to Magor/Magwyr in Wales was re-designated as the M48.

In an act of Whitehall arrogance, the Second Severn Crossing was later renamed the Prince of Wales Bridge with no public consultation, almost as if to prove that Wales is still England’s oldest colony.

Repairs are due to be carried out to potholes on the new bridge and this was duly reported on the Bristol (Evening) Post/Bristol Live website, as is also shown by the following screenshot.

A small problem occurs here. Knowledgeable readers will at once discern that the bridge used to illustrate the link from the site’s home page to the article is actually the 1960s Severn Bridge, not the Charles Philip Arthur George Mountbatten-Windsor Bridge. Has Reach plc also dispensed with picture editors as well as sub-editors in a dual bid to reduce both costs and the quality of its so-called ‘journalism‘,

Finally it is worth noting that this story does not appear on the Post’s Reach stable companion for South Wales, the Western Mail/Wales Online website (affectionately known as Tales Online. Ed.).
More ambiguity from the Post

06/03/2023 Steve WoodsBristol, Language, Media

And how much did the sale of the original Fawlty Towers script realise?
Lost?

31/01/2023 Steve WoodsBristol, Language

Spotted in Bristol’s Old Market Street this morning.

Whether it has been dumped far from home and/or is trying to make its way home is not clear from its demeanour.

This not the first occasion a bilingual Welsh sign has been used in England, as reported by Nation Cymru with this example of the English city known in Welsh as Caerwrangon and Worcester to the local monoglots.
Not news, not Bristol

22/01/2023 Steve WoodsBristol, Language, Media, Oddities

The Bristol (Evening) Post?Bristol Live website has a Bristol News menu item on its website. Today the home page revealed the item below had been added to that category.

Where to in Bristol did Mr. Henry Charles Albert David Mountbatten-Windsor do his flight training in Bristol?

At this point a number of significant howevers enter the narrative. Firstly, the army has no aviation training centre either in Bristol or its immediate environs, according to its website.

A second however could be levelled at the second part of the Reach publication’s classification of this item as News. It’s actually what could be classed as gossip, i.e. idle talk or rumour, especially about personal or private affairs of others, except that informant in question has gone running a national Sunday ‘news’ publication in the Reach plc stable.

Thirdly, for those whose who are really desperate to read this alleged news, it can be found here.
Where’s that to?

19/01/2023 Steve WoodsBristol, Language

The Galleries shopping centre in Broadmead in Bristol opened in October 1991. Originally managed by managed by Capital & Regional and Aviva Investors, the complex is now in the hands of LaSalle Investment Management, whose registered office is in Chicago, IL in the United States.

However, this has not stopped them from trying to appear a local company: note the phrase “Proud of our city“

However, despite their pride in our city, LaSalle still manages to fail miserably as shown in the photograph below.

Last time I looked there was no Bristol Suspension Bridge. There are, however, a few suspension bridges around the city, but none of them is named after the city of their siting.

Somehow a photograph of the world-famous Clifton Suspension Bridge designed by Brunel but not opened until after his death has been used in error.

Ask any Bristolian its whereabouts and the answer is likely to be:”Bristle Suspension Bridge: where’s that to?”
Stolen sculpture – city council prevaricating over return

09/01/2023 Steve WoodsBristol, Media, Oddities, Politics

In 1897 British troops attacked, burned down and looted the palace of the Oba (king) of Benin in West Africa. The former Kingdom of Benin (1180–1897) is now part of present-day Nigeria.

Amongst the squaddies’ loot was a huge haul of bronze sculptures, many of which found their way into museums, galleries and onto the western art market.

One of these was acquired in Bristol City Museum & Art Gallery in 1935, where it is described as Object Number Ea7821.

Back in 2020 Prince Edun Akenzua of the Royal Court of Benin made a direct appeal to Bristol to return the looted artwork to Nigeria, as reported at the time by the Bristol Post.

Since then many fine words have been written by the city council about repatriation both on the museums website and the museums blog with the latter stating the following regarding the fate of the sculpture:

Although we have still not been able to make contact directly with Royal Court officials, we have been looking at the work of the British Museum and the Benin Dialogue Group and discussing options with the Legacy Restoration Trust. To be clear, we are not bound by the thoughts or decisions of any of these bodies, nor the UK government.
We have been gathering information about the best way to take on board the variety of thoughts and concerns of different groups in Nigeria. There has been a lack of consensus about the best place to hold objects that return to the country. The new, but yet to be built, Edo Museum of West African Art is one option that many do agree with.

Since then things have gone very quiet indeed. Bristol University student newspaper Epigram has even accused the city council’s museums service of “heel-dragging“.

Your ‘umble scribe also believes the city council’s museums service could have moved a little quicker and has today filed the following FoI request with the city council.

Dear Bristol City Council,
This is a request for information under the Freedom of Information Act.
The City Museum & Art Gallery contains in its collection a Benin bronze head (Object Number: Ea7821) looted by the Oba’s palace in 1897 and acquired by the museum in 1935.
Some years ago, the local media reported that this object was to be repatriated to Nigeria.
There have been no subsequent reports of its repatriation, so I am assuming this has still to happen.

Kindly provide an explanation for the delay in repatriating this object to where it belongs despite the city museums website (source: https://www.bristolmuseums.org.uk/collections/action-on-decolonisation/repatriation/) stating: “Bristol City Council acknowledges and recognises that the possession of historic Benin Bronzes is highly contentious and that there are calls for repatriation to Benin (Nigeria). As a consequence, Culture team staff are establishing contact with the interested parties in Nigeria and those who are currently negotiating with them across Europe as part of the Benin Dialogue Group and through the Legacy Restoration Trust in Nigeria”.

Yours etc.

In the past couple of months museums in the United States of America and Germany respectively have repatriated far more Benin bronzes than one bronze head, so come on Bristol, it’s time for you to exdigitate or if you can’t manage that, get your finger out! 😀
Headline written by a ten year-old (again!)

09/01/2023 Steve WoodsBristol, Language, Media

<In his 1946 essay Politics and the English Language, one of George Orwell‘s rules for the judicious use of language includes the following in his five tenets:
If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
Even though he was speaking specifically about the language of politics, Orwell’s words are also pertinent to other fields.
Although his works have been out of copyright for over two years, Orwell does not seem to be very popular reading amongst the hacks kludging together the Bristol (Evening) Post/Bristol Live, if one takes a look at the headline to this article which runs counter to the late great journalist’s advice.
Instead of adhering to Orwell’s advice and using the word transcript, the Temple Way Ministry of Truth headline writer has used four separate words and we’re back into the “What I did in my holidays” school of writing that should have been eliminated in primary school, not rewarded with public visibility and a decent salary. 🙁
Flurry of investigative journalism from Reach titles

14/12/2022 Steve WoodsBristol, Language, Media, Oddities

Reach plc, owners of the Mirror and the Daily Brexit (which some still call the Express. Ed.), also control a large swathe of the local regional press across the English Empire (which some still call the United Kingdom. Ed.).

One of the accusations frequently levelled against Reach’s regional titles is that the news they carry has been dumbed down, particularly since the ousting of sub-editors who until some years ago provided a modicum of quality control over what was actually printed.

A further criticism often directed in Reach’s direction is a lack of investigative journalism, i.e. form of journalism in which reporters deeply investigate a single topic of interest, which may involve months or years researching and preparing a report.

Your ‘umble scribe does not know if months or years of research have gone into preparing the flurry of seasonally inspired investigations that have appeared in various Reach title in the past week, but they do show the great sacrifice that has been made around the country by the waistlines of the reporters involved.

A small selection of this fearless sleuthing is shown below.

First up the Bristol (Evening) Post

The budget supermarkets Aldi and Lidl seem to have attracted particular attention, as per this poultry effort from The Daily Post/North Wales Live.

In the south of Cymru, Wales Online, formerly the Western Mail, has opted for a hyper-local approach, focussing its rapier-like skills on Cardiff’s independent retail catering sector. Note the whole story squeezed into the headline, thus saving the reader the bother of engaging with the piece, all apart from the verdict.

Finally in this brief excursion around some of the local titles in the Reach stable, we arrive at the Liverpool Echo, which goes in for a comparison of Marks & Spencer with our old friends Lidl. Note the glaring grammatical error in the headline, as well as the use of the first person singular in the verb conjugations.

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