media

  • Lookalikes – canine special

    Under pressure part-time alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson is facing increased calls for his resignation following revelations of regular lockdown-busting parties at No. 10 Downing Street, two of which took place on the evening before the funeral of the late Philip Mountbatten-Windsor (aka Phil the Greek. Ed.).

    These latest revelations have been added to the evidence built up over the decades that Johnson – an immodest man with much to be modest about – is unfit to clean a public toilet, let alone occupy the highest elected office in the land. For a summary of Johnson’s lying, philandering, laziness, law-breaking and other character flaws, the latest Observer editorial comment is scathing, accusing Johnson of hurting the country and shaming his party.

    Furthermore, the mainstream media is only now starting to print and broadcast the shortcomings in character should have been general public knowledge long before Johnson’s name was even suggested as a suitable candidate for an election nomination paper.

    Johnson’s path to the most famous black door in the world has been an upward trajectory propelled by lies, incompetence and bluster.

    However, do not expect an egotistical creature with a sense of entitlement like Bozo the Clown to relinquish the power of the highest elected office in the land voluntarily.

    Like most who end up behind that black door, Johnson will leave claw marks down the pavement as he is evicted from behind Downing Street’s security gates.

    And so it has come to pass that, as The Independent announced two days ago,an egotistical character like Bozo the Clown Johnson is launching Operation Save Big Dog with, yes you guessed correctly, Johnson playing the eponymous subject of the operation.

    This will consist mainly of seeing which subordinates can be sacrificed to ensure Johnson himself survives in post.

    If Johnson were of the canine persuasion, his record suggests a more apposite adjective than big for this particular pooch would be rabid. Rabid dog and BorisJohnson

  • Bronze lives matter

    On 7 June 2020, the statue of slave trader and religious bigot Edward Colston, which had blighted the centre of Bristol for well over a century, was assisted off its plinth and taken for a walk for a bath in the city docks near Pero’s Bridge (a bridge named after a former slave. Ed.).

    Yesterday in Bristol Crown Court a jury of their peers found the defendants Rhian Graham, Milo Ponsford, Sage Willoughby, and Jake Skuse – the so-called Colston 4 – not guilty of criminal damage as a result of Eddie the Slaver ending up in the drink that afternoon a year and half ago, as The Bristol Cable reports.

    The verdict has not gone down well with some right-leaning culture warriors and those whose view of history is coloured more by the propaganda extolling the virtues of the British Empire instead of the brutality of its crimes against humanity, theft, violence and exploitation. This tweet from the Save Our Statues account is a typical example.

    Tweet reads: A disgraceful verdict that gives the green light to political vandalism and sets a precedent for anyone to be able to destroy whatever they disagree with. This is not justice.

    The sense of outrage is not confined to social media. In the vanguard was the outrage of the Daily Express (which some still call the Express. Ed.) with the headline below today’s front page.

    Headline reads: statue 'vandals' cleared... but where will it all end?

    Just above the headline a small matter of media hypocrisy comes into view. Note the promotional flash for the glorious National Trust 2022 calendar. Not so very long ago the Express was one of those right-wing newspapers that were condemning the National Trust and accusing it of being woke (whatever that’s supposed to mean. Ed.) for the organisation’s efforts to learn more about the history of its properties, resulting in the Trust publishing a report last year that found 93 of its properties had connections with colonialism and slavery.

    Furthermore, it was just right-leaning social media accounts and media that were outraged. Members of Parliament also joined in the outrage.

    Step forward Robert ‘Honest Bob‘ Jenrick, MP for Newark and formerly Secretary of State for Housing, Communities and Local Government. Jenrick took to Twitter yesterday to pontificate as follows:

    We undermine the rule of law, which underpins our democracy, if we accept vandalism and criminal damage are acceptable forms of political protest.
    They aren’t. Regardless of the intentions.

    Tweet reads: We undermine the rule of law, which underpins our democracy, if we accept vandalism and criminal damage are acceptable forms of political protest. They aren't. Regardless of the intentions.

    It is encouraging to see such strong support for the rule of law from Honest Bob, a man who when occupying his lofty Whitehall perch was found by the High Court to have acted unlawfully in approving a £1bn east London development by former publisher and Tory Party donor Richard Desmond.

    The Colston 4 verdict and the verdict of unlawful action Jenrick’s planning decision clearly do not sit well with the likes of Honest Bob.

    However, he and others need to remember that justice – especially as perceived by juries in their verdicts – does not always match everyone’s expectations, especially where concepts of lawful and/or reasonable excuse are involved.

    Justice is not like Woolworth’s Pick’n’Mix sweet counter and the likes of Honest Bob are in no position to lecture the masses about the sanctity of the rule of law.

    In conclusion, here’s a wee photo for Bob, the right-wing press and social media accounts to think about. 😀

    Photo reads: If pulling down a statue of a slave traders 'ruins your way of life' you are either... a) racist b) a pigeon

  • Cotswold colonialism

    The Cotswolds constituency, which includes the towns of Cirencester, Andoversford, Bourton-on-the-Water, Chipping Campden, Fairford, Lechlade, Moreton-in-Marsh, Northleach, Stow-on-the-Wold and Tetbury, are another modern rotten borough (or one-party state. Ed.), having returned a Conservative member to parliament for over 120 years.

    The members it returns also tend to hold reactionary views.

    The previous incumbent, Nicolas Ridley, who stepped down in 1990, is on record as having described the European Union’s the proposed Economic and Monetary Union as “a German racket designed to take over the whole of Europe” and said that giving up sovereignty to the European Union was as bad as giving it up to Adolf Hitler.

    official portrait of Geoffrey Clueless-BrownSo what of the present incumbent, one “Sir” Geoffrey Robert Clifton-Brown, old Etonian, alumnus of the Royal Agricultural College and chairman of the reactionary backbench 1922 Committee?

    Geoffrey hasn’t exactly endeared himself to the residents of Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland in the past couple of days, according to Wales Online.

    Reporting on an interview on pandemic restrictions given to Murdoch-owned Times Radio, Clinton-Brown is on record as stating that the other nations in the English Empire (which some still call the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Ed.) having different rules to England was damaging people’s liberties and the economy.

    When asked “How concerned are you about England being out of step with the rest of the country?“, Clinton-Brown replied as follows:

    I think it’s the other way around. I think the principalities are out of step with with with England. I think they have been overly cautious. I think they’re doing more damage to their economies than they need to. I think they’re doing more damage to people’s liberties than they need to. I just don’t think the evidence unless as I say the data coming out today is very different. I don’t think the evidence is there for any further measures.

    Principalities, Geoffrey?

    Right.

    Let’s take this apart slowly. The English Empire is made up of four allegedly equal parts. First there’s the Principality of Wales, which mostly annexed by England in the 13th century. It where lots of the later colonial tactics used in the British Empire to oppress the native were first implemented and/or tried out, (such as e.g. the suppression of the local language in the country’s administration). Then there’s the Kingdom of Scotland, a sovereign state in its own right that entered the Treaty of Union with England in 1706. And finally, there’s Northern Ireland. Ireland’s history with the English/British state is bitter and complicated, but the final six counties still occupied by the British state are commonly referred to as a province.

    So that makes one principality, one kingdom and one province. That’s right; just one principality.

    Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland all now have devolved local assemblies. One of the remits of each of the devolved administrations is health. Westminster has no say in what the Senedd Cymru, Scottish Parliament and Northern Ireland Legislative Assembly; and Westminster has decided that England does not need the stricter pandemic restrictions introduced by the devolved assemblies.

    And that’s what Geoffrey dislikes. His whole attitude in that interview comes across as condescending. He might be concerned about personal liberties and the economy, but his real gripe is the loss of centralised control Whitehall and Westminster used to have over England’s remaining colonies, which is how the devolved regions were treated before devolution.

    Congratulations, Geoffrey! No doubt you call yourself a Unionist, i.e. a supporter of the continued unity of England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland as one sovereign state.

    Words are important; and your insensitive remarks and ill-chosen vocabulary have more than likely contributed to the dissolution of that union in the face of growing calls for Scottish and Welsh independence, as well as boosting the chances of Irish reunification.

  • Another day, another dreadful Reach headline

    Another day, another dreadful headline from a Reach plc (formerly Trinity Mirror. Ed.) title.

    Today’s comes courtesy of Wales Online and features 2 regular features: firstly the desire the pack the entire story into the headline (instead of that anachronistic practice of giving the odd hint about it. Ed.); and secondly ambiguity.

    Headline reads The town at panic stations every time there's a flood warning which is being left at the mercy of climate change

    In my first job after graduating, part of the introduction to the company’s house style involved avoiding ambiguity at all costs.

    This is evidently no longer the case in large swathes of the local press, especially where the titles are owned by the two big players: the aforementioned Reach plc and Newsquest Media Group Ltd.

  • Ambiguity back in the headlines

    Another day, another example of unwitting ambiguity from a representative of the fourth estate.

    Step forward and take a bow, Glasgow Times.

    Headline reads Glasgow thug threw bottle of alcohol containing accelerant at cars causing fire on road

    Your ‘umble scribe has already asked the publication via social media why cars were setting fire to the road, but is not hopeful of receiving a cogent reply; or any reply at all for that matter.

  • More comprehensive, transcendental abuse?

    New logo as Facebook morphs into MetaIn the small hours of Friday morning, news came in that Facebook Inc. is to change its name to Meta, allegedly better to “encompass” what it does as it expands from social media to other sectors such as virtual reality.

    Meta, from the Greek μετα-, meta-, meaning “after” or “beyond“, is a prefix meaning more comprehensive or transcending.

    Whether the rebrand will involve the more dubious of Facebook’s more comprehensive or transcending business practices being extended to those new sectors remains to be seen.

    Facebook was founded in February 2004 by Harvard student Mark Zuckerberg. Not long afterwards, the controversies and abuse of users started. As The Register recalled in 2010, the then 19 year-old Zuckerberg called his first few thousand users “dumb f*cks” in a private conversation with a friend.

    However, even that early sign of contempt did not prevent Zuckerberg’s social media infant growing into an obese behemoth of the social media sector, with a current user (i.e. product. Ed.) base of 2.85 billion people.

    Perhaps Zuckerberg is secretly delighted there are so many dumb people in the world. They’ve been paying his bills for more than one and a half decades, after all.

    After those early days, Facebook’s user base grew, as did the propensity for abuse, culminating in the Cambridge Analytica data scandal. Cambridge Analytica was established in 2013 as a subsidiary of the private intelligence company and self-described “global election management agency” SCL Group by 3 long-serving SCL executives. The company offices in London, New York City and Washington, DC. Cambridge Analytica was implicated in affecting the results of the 2016 US presidential campaign, where data it hoovered up from Facebook users was used to build psychographic profiles, determining users’ personality traits based on their Facebook activity. These profiles were then used for micro-targeting voters displaying customised advertisements on various online platforms. The key point of this activity was to identify those who might be enticed to vote for Trump or be discouraged to vote for their opponent. In addition, Cambridge Analytica was allegedly hired as a consultant company for Leave.EU and the UK Independence Party during 2016 as an effort to convince people to vote in favour of the UK leaving the European Union in David Cameron’s amateurish EU membership referendum. However, the UK Information Commissioner’s official investigation found that Cambridge Analytica was not involved “beyond some initial enquiries” and the regulator did not identify any “significant breaches” of data protection legislation or privacy or marketing regulations “which met the threshold for formal regulatory action“. Cambridge Analytica cased operations in 2018 following the revelations of its privacy-busting operations, although firms related to both Cambridge Analytica and its parent firm SCL still exist.

    Zuckerberg subsequently apologised for Facebook’s involvement with Cambridge Analytica, calling it an “issue“, a “mistake” and a “breach of trust“, as well as pledging not to let such abuse occur again.

    Nevertheless, the abuse of users didn’t stop and have continued right up to the present.

    The latest revelations come ex-employee Frances Haugen, who was employed by Facebook as a data scientist, leaked documents revealing that the company placed “profits over safety“. Since her revelations, Ms. Haugen has given evidence to a US Senate sub-committee and testified in person to a UK parliamentary committee scrutinising the online safety bill.

    Reporting on the name change, The Register noted beneath its headline that Zuckerberg’s social network has “Meta-stasized“. Leaving aside El Reg’s overt reference to the former secret police of the so-called German Democratic Republic, metastasis is defined as a change of position, state, or form. The primary use of metastasis today is in medicine where it defines the development of secondary malignant growths at a distance from a primary site of cancer.

    Finally, as a further dampener on the rebrand’s distraction value, a report in today’s Guardian reveals that Meta translates as dead in Hebrew.

    Have fun in Zuck’s metaverse, y’all! 😀

  • ‘Concrete’ Mike pwned

    Your ‘umble scribe is not a listener to Rupert Murdoch’s TalkRadio channel, being as it is top-heavy with right-wing presenters and commentators.

    Furthermore, its audience compared to other national broadcasters is tiny, with Rajar figures revealing an average national number of listeners of 433,000, i.e. less than the current estimated population of Bristol.

    One of those right-wing presenters had a bad day at the studio yesterday.

    Step forward one Archibald Michael Graham, otherwise know as ‘Iron’ Mike, former editor of the Scottish edition of the Daily Mirror and former assistant editor of the Daily Brexit (which some still call the Express. Ed.).

    Yesterday he’d invited Insulate Britain spokesperson Cameron Ford, onto the TalkRadio breakfast show, where he is currently deputising for the dreadful Julia Hartley-Brewer, ostensibly to discuss Insulate Britain’s latest protest action, but more likely so that Ford could give him a good verbal kicking for the entertainment of the station’s none too large audience.

    However, matters did not progress entirely to plan, leaving Iron Mike’s carapace pitted with rust as he ended up displaying his own stupidity, which has now gone viral around the English-speaking world.

    Graham’s stupidity was so egregious that the hashtag #ConcreteMike is trending on Twitter today.

    The interview, which lasted less than one minute in total, starts with no style at all. Graham launches straight into an ad hominem attack on his guest – a carpenter by trade – claiming that wood is not a sustainable product, before trying to assert that concrete is a sustainable product, before being politely corrected. There then follow a period of silence before Graham ends the interview thinking he’s embarrassed his guest, whilst not having the nous to realise he has opened his mouth and inserted his foot up to the ankle, as per the video clip below.

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