Bristol | Steve Woods

Bristol Post Balls – the broken spellcheck

02/02/2014 Steve WoodsBristol, Language, Media

One really has to admire the journalists at the Bristol Post, getting the news out to the public 6 days a week, sometimes in the face of extreme adversity.

For instance, a Sunday morning is a bad time for the spellchecking software to have a dicky fit. After all, no IT support will be available until Monday.

Never mind, in the absence of a spellchecker, the Post’s Geoff Bennett ploughed valiantly on to produce this report, part of which is shown in the screenshot below.

How long will it take before ‘spoekesman’, ‘reeasonably’ and ‘spercial’ are added to the Oxford English dictionary?
Snowdrops

27/01/2014 Steve WoodsBristol

Whenever I get my first sight of snowdrops (Galanthus) each winter, my spirit lifts as this very unassuming little flower is the first to bloom each year and thus indicates spring cannot be far away.

It will soon be followed by crocuses, daffodils, tulips and other popular garden bulbs.

These snowdrops were spotted at Lawford’s Gate, Bristol on the site of the Lawford’s Gate House of Correction, a former prison lying outside the city of Bristol until the late Victorian era. Along with the city’s other gaols, it was a target in the 1831 Bristol Riot, when it was set alight. The prison also had a whipping post for punishing prisoners.

Once a place of punishment and misery, the site of the prison is now a pleasant green space with mature trees and – in January at least – the first heralds of spring.
Bristol Post Balls – an American in Bristol

21/01/2014 Steve WoodsBristol, Language, Media

There’s some bloke called Brendan Cole off something called Strictly Come Dancing on the television that’s currently got a show on at Bristol’s Hippodrome called ‘Licence to Thrill’, as shown by the publicity featured below.

Earlier today the Bristol Post’s review of the show featured a translation of the show’s title into American English, no doubt in a bid to help transatlantic visitors to Bristol (alternatively, it could have been caused by letting an American intern loose in the news room or a keyboard/software configuration cock-up. Ed.), as shown by the following screenshot.

The spelling of the headline has since been corrected.

Y’all have a nice day! 🙂
Bristol Post Balls – headlining

14/01/2014 Steve WoodsBristol, Language, Media

According to Collins English Dictionary, headline has the following definition as a noun:

a phrase at the top of a newspaper or magazine article indicating the subject of the article, usually in larger and heavier type

Here’s a headline from a piece in today’s Bristol Post (since corrected after being ridiculed by a sharp-eyed reader. Ed.).

When it comes to how to use a headline, dictionaries unfortunately do not give guidance regarding their making sense. 🙂
Bristol Post Balls – irritable vowel syndrome

11/01/2014 Steve WoodsBristol, Language, Media

If you either travel into or out of Bristol from the south or sail into or out of the city docks, you’ll be familiar with the Plimsoll Bridge, a swing bridge built over the Cumberland Basin in 1965.

Bristol’s Plimsoll Bridge in action. Picture courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

Unfortunately, there’s been some trouble with the bridge recently: during one recent rush hour swing some vital part broke and the bridge remained open – and closed to motor traffic – until the next day when it was cranked closed by hand.

The various repairs that need to be carried out will require several weeks and vessels with high masts will therefore not be able to get into and out of the docks for that period.

Yesterday the Bristol Post’s Michael Ribbeck reported on the latest stage of repairs.

His first sentence reads as follows:

A carriageway of a swing bridge in the centre of Bristol had to be closed overnight while repairs were carried out to lose joints.

Poor Michael! Not only does he have trouble with his vowels, as with the old Stork margarine advertisement, he can’t tell verbs from adjectives! 🙂
Bristol Post Balls – Write ’em cowboy!

06/01/2014 Steve WoodsBristol, Language, Media

Besides its use in the agricultural context, the term ‘cowboy‘ has long been in use informally to describe a person who is an irresponsible or unscrupulous operator, as in the phrase cowboy builder.

Today’s Bristol Post carries a report where it’s uncertain as to who are the cowboys – the builders or the journalists who wrote the piece.

The report in question covers repairs and refurbishment works currently underway at the former home of Thomas Chatterton (20th November 1752 – 24th August 1770), Bristol’s renowned 18th century poet and forger of alleged medieval literary works.

With a sharp eye for inaccuracies, my attention was drawn to the following passage in paragraph 8:

Lathe and plaster is being used on the walls and re-rendering on the outside is being carried out with limestone instead of modern materials so the original stonework can “breathe”.

For anyone familiar with traditional building techniques, the 2 absolute howlers in there are immediately apparent.

For anyone unfamiliar with traditional building techniques, such as passing Bristol Post journalists in search of enlightenment, here’s an illustrated guide showing where the authors went wrong.

Here is a lathe: this one is for working metal; other types can be used for wood and other materials.

Here are some laths, minus their original plaster coating.

This is limestone – a whole pavement of it.

This is a house in St. Davids, Wales showing a traditional limewash finish, yellow ochre coloured in this case.
Confusion in Castle Park

02/01/2014 Steve WoodsBristol, Oddities, Politics

So far winter in Bristol has been not like winter at all; it’s been mostly mild and rather wet.

As a result some of the local trees – like this cherry in Castle Park (picture taken this morning. Ed.) – are somewhat confused and believe it’s spring already, judging by the display of blossom.

Loveliest of trees, the cherry now is hung with bloom along the bough… (A.E. Housman)

However, where Castle Park is concerned, it’s not just its cherry trees that are confused. Its custodians – Bristol City Council – are confused too.

According to the council’s Central Area Action Plan (CAAP) the western end of Castle Park is a prime development opportunity and has been earmarked for covering in concrete at a time when the city has enough empty shops, offices and other commercial space to cope with another recession besides the one that is allegedly now at an end.

This act of municipal largesse to developers comes in spite of the fact that over 95% of CAAP consultation responses relating to Castle Park were against any development that would mean building on the park and that it’s only some 5 or 6 years since the council encountered firm opposition from Bristolians the last time it proposed developing this bit of Castle Park.

Once again, there’s a petition against the development of Castle Park. Its preamble reads as follows:

As a resident of Bristol, I am dismayed at and object to the proposals in the current Bristol Central Area Plan to build on green space and to cut down some 40 mature trees in the St Mary le Port area of Castle Park and in the High St and Wine St which border it.

Whilst the old disused buildings there are indeed in need of refurbishment and bringing into use, I do not accept that to do so it is necessary to build on any of the existing green space surrounding the buildings or to cut down the trees, which is what the proposals would mean.

Further, this is hardly in line with Bristol being the European Green Capital in 2015.

Sign the petition.
Bristol Post Balls – publish and be damned

26/12/2013 Steve WoodsBristol, Media

‘Publish and be damned’ was the the reaction in 1824 of one Arthur Wellesley (1st May 1769 – 14th September 1852) when courtesan Harriette Wilson (whose clients included the then Prince of Wales, the Lord Chancellor and four future Prime Ministers. Ed.) threatened to publish her memoirs and his letters with the possibility of his reputation being damaged. Her decision to publish was based partly on the broken promises of her lovers to provide her with an income in her later years.

However, for the Bristol Post publish and be damned would appear to be its normal modus operandi – at least as far as the online edition is concerned. The hacks down at the Temple Way Ministry of Truth are far too eager to hit the ‘publish’ button when their work is far from ready for publication, as evidenced by this morning’s screenshot of this post, which may have been rectified by the time you visit the site.

Harriette Wilson’s memoirs are still in print. How long can the Post last?

Update, 9.00 am: the piece has been pulled and now returns a 404 error page. However, this does not mean it won’t rise again vampire-like from the crypt.

Update, 10.20 am: It’s back!
The art of parking

24/12/2013 Steve WoodsBristol

The picture below showing the parking skills of Avon & Somerset Constabulary’s finest was taken at 9.30 am on 24th December in Bannerman Road in the Easton area of Bristol.

Rule 244 of the Highway Code states:

You MUST NOT park partially or wholly on the pavement in London, and should not do so elsewhere unless signs permit it. Parking on the pavement can obstruct and seriously inconvenience pedestrians, people in wheelchairs or with visual impairments and people with prams or pushchairs.

No further comment is necessary apart from to say that Mr Plod needs either refresher classes in the Highway Code or cannot be bothered to abide by it, especially since there was plenty of room to park with consideration not 20 metres away.
Bristol Post Balls – recycling rubbish

19/12/2013 Steve WoodsBristol, Media

Today’s Bristol Post has a report on Bristol City Council’s waste contractors May Gurney and their planning application for their recycling operation, complete with a picture – kindly inserted by the Post’s Inappropriate Pictures Dept. ( whose work complements that of the Invisible Pictures Dept. featured yesterday. Ed. – of one of their new traffic congestion-busting refuse lorries!

Below is the usual screenshot ready for when someone on Temple Way realises a mistake has been made. 🙂

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